


The Future Is Ours

by RandomPerson2_0



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Adoption, Alpha Anya (The 100), Alpha Bellamy Blake, Alpha Lexa (The 100), Alpha Lincoln (The 100), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anya & Lexa Are Siblings (The 100), Anya & Lincoln Are Cousins (The 100), Artist Clarke Griffin, Beta Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes Friendship, Drinking, Eventual Anya/Raven Reyes, Eventual Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lung Cancer, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Clarke Griffin/Niylah, Minor Clarke Griffin/Raven Reyes, Modern Setting Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Murder, Omega Clarke Griffin, Omega Octavia Blake, Omega Verse, One Night Stands, Original Character(s), Past Child Abuse, Past Costia/Lexa (The 100), Rich Lexa (The 100)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:20:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 64,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28372278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomPerson2_0/pseuds/RandomPerson2_0
Summary: Alexandria Woods has always been a troubled person. She has her rough start in life to thank for that. She's been in and out of foster homes, from bullied to the bully, new family (many, new families), trouble with the birth family, in jail, out of jail.She's given up on the thing everything calls hope. She's become the exact things they would whisper on school days."No good trouble maker", they'd gossip on the school playground."Won't find a family with that attitude", they would tease.She's the, as the principal would say, "lost and refusing to be found" Alpha.She's accepted all these things and closed doors before they could open. But meeting a blonde has her doubting herself. Has her leaving the doors closed, but opening the windows.
Relationships: Anya/Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Monty Green/Harper McIntyre, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Comments: 65
Kudos: 245





	1. Guilty

**Author's Note:**

> This whole story came to mind because of a quote. The same quote you'll find at the beginning of each chapter.  
> "My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours"

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

She couldn’t hear. Red filled her sights preventing her from seeing anything properly. She knew she was moving but wasn’t sure what she was doing. Her fists were repeatedly hitting something from, what she assumes, is an act of violence.

There was moisture on her knuckles leading her to believe it was blood. She knew she should stop if there was blood but she kept going. Kept swinging, kept hitting. Blindly swinging.

Her throat was hurting from shouting. What she was shouting? She doesn’t know. She could feel her eyes stinging from tears that ran down her face. She wasn’t one to cry but whatever was having her see red was bad enough to make the young Alpha cry.

Her trance was broken by strong, familiar arms pulling her to her feet and away from her target. “Lexa!”, her hearing came back. “Stop!”

She knew that voice. Of course, she knew that voice. “An . . . ya?”, her throat protests the word.

Finally, she blinked away the red that covered her vision. She took a look around at her surroundings. She stood on a familiar porch, her porch. There was a man on the floor. His face was covered in blood leaked onto the porch supposedly staining it.

She looked up from the too bloody to recognize man and the familiar faces that stood on the grass. Her mother, who was sweet and gentle, was crying. Her father, who held the house together, was shielding his mother from their daughter. Their daughter stood with bloody knuckles. Then her older sister. She looked scared and miserably failed to hide it. She recognized the look her sister gave her.

“What . . . did I do?”

Anya didn’t respond immediately. She looked at the now limp body of a man then at her scared sister who had backed away from them. She released a shaky breath and answered the teenager’s question. “Something bad, Alexandria. Something really, really bad”

She doesn’t remember much after her sister’s words. She could recall the police sirens. She could recall her crying as she admitted her guilt to the stunned officers. The pain of the cuffs clipping onto her wrists still stung. There was the painful sound of her mother crying as they put her in the back of the car.

She could remember looking out the window as they drove away from her home. As they pulled her away from her home for the second time in her lifetime.

The trial was fast, her lawyer was one of the best. With a wealthy family, they could afford the best. What his name was . . . she couldn’t remember.

She remembers way less about the trial than the other events. There were the judge’s words that she fears will never leave her alone in the many years of her life to come.

Her voice was loud, scolding, and threatening yet she was an Omega. “In the case of murder in the second degree, how do you find?”

Lexa was a whole 180 of the Omega who sat ahead of her. Her voice was devoid of emotion, her eyes were downcasted to the ground but everyone knew they would show no emotion. She hadn’t said a word as it wasn’t necessary. Her next word would haunt not only her but the family that sat behind her.

“Guilty”


	2. The Little Things

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Lexa knew she was going to be let out of prison at some point. The judge had made that clear five years ago. As a teenager she was convinced no one can stay in prison for their whole life but how long she was. Five years felt forever . . . she feels bad for those who were there for longer. Stepping out of the building makes her guilt go away. She knows better than to dwell on that stuff.

Lexa looks up and blinks at the bright, blue sky. The light is blinding and makes her want to hideaway. She was allowed outside but being outside of the jail makes everything seem more bright than in jail. _Maybe I’m crazy._

A stray dog runs by, barely missing her as it chases some skinny lizard. She flinches when it runs by.

In prison, everyone was on a schedule. She knew what to expect. Out here, in the real world, nothing ran on a schedule. She knew it would take time for her to get used to that.

“Huh”, she whispers at the sudden realization. She’s stepped into a world that’s different than the one she knew five years ago. She puts her hands in her black leather jacket and breathes in the fresh air. No matter how much change the world has undergone that doesn’t change one fact. “I’m free”

She’s always been free to some extent. It’s not like the prison kept her locked up all the time. They were allowed into the prison court at certain times but breathing prison air is different than breathing outside the prison air. It’ll forever be different and she’s thankful for that.

Eyeing the many flowers that line the sidewalks she smiles. She looks at the vibrant green grass. Seeing those two things makes her smile bigger. They’re things she’s seen countless times. She's seen them in the fenced area of the foster home playground and the huge garden of her parent’s home. Normally she’d walk by and pay no mind to them but right now they are the most beautiful things she has seen in her lifetime. She knows it’s the effect of being free and the effect won’t last long.

**“All good things end, Alexandria. All good things”, a faint voice says with a creepy image of a smile appearing in her mind.**

_Whose voice is that?_

A loud honk scares her from her thoughts. The sudden noise makes her heart race. She wants to flee to the closest compacted area but doesn’t. She can't be insane, not now. Keeping her face calm and devoid of emotions she looks towards the car that honked at her. Upon seeing the red, open-roofed sports car she relaxes.

“You getting in or what, sis?”, Anya, a blonde Alpha with black roots, looks at her from over the windshield. “C’mon, mom and everyone else wants to see you”

Lexa moves without a second thought. She hops over the car door and onto the black seats. Once inside the car, she comes to recognize it. The car was her car, she had fixed it up with Anya and their dad, Titus, years ago. She drove it for two years before the incident. Being back in the car has her remembering the cursing of their father as he struggled with something under the roof. Just thinking about the distant, almost forgotten memory has her smiling.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing”, she shakes her head. “Nothing”

The car moves fast down the beachside road. Anya was always a fast driver when it came to cars. Lexa preferred motorcycles and she found them easier to control but speed was speed.

Feeling young again Lexa leans out the side of the car. She relishes the way the wind blows on her face. It keeps her hair out of her face and ruins her braids but she could care less.

She’s forgotten the feel of the wind on your face as you speed down the road. She’s forgotten the beaches that line the simple roads. She’s forgotten the smell of the ocean as the waves lick at the shore. She’s forgotten the sound of seagulls that fly over your head.

She’s forgotten the littlest of things.

*********

Driving through the open double gates they stop in front of a two-story house. It’s white with vines growing on the side. Flowers outline the house and trees are placed in certain places. Just looking at the house Lexa knows it was expensive. She would be gawking at it if it wasn’t her childhood home. She calls it her childhood home even though she only spent eight years of her 17 years of freedom there. “Nothing’s changed”, she whispers to Anya who stands by her.

“The house hasn’t”, a pause, “the people have”

Lexa was counting on that. She knew her leaving would change everyone. She had known things would change the moment her fist collided with flesh. Lexa has also changed. She just wishes they haven’t changed too much. In this crazy, always-changing world she wants some familiarity.

“C’mon”. Anya can sense her sister falling down the rabbit hole of memories. “They’re waiting”. They walk up the steps and Anya pushes the door open.

The first thing Lexa hears is the excited squeal of a child. Then the cry of a baby followed by the laughter of the family. The noises are loud and are at threat of ‘triggering’ Lexa but she holds it all in. She follows Anya into the house and the living room. Upon walking in a silence falls over the room. _Knew this would happen,_ she eyes the familiar faces who belong to strangers.

She looks at her second oldest sister, Luna, a blue-haired Omega, who sits on the couch with a pup no older than two on her lap. On the right of Luna is a brunette who Lexa knows who is one of Anya’s best friends and Luna’s wife, Tris.

Her mother, a black hair and green-eyed Omega holds a wiggling pup in her arms who appears to be around the age of four. “Grams!”, the pup squeals, “I wanna play!”

The adults ignore him.

Then there’s her father. He sports dark brown hair and grey eyes. Sitting on his right leg is a little girl who must be the twin of the little boy. They like one another. The girl, unlike her brother, is calm. Lexa assumes she is tuned to the emotions in the room. For this reason, she must be an Omega making the other boy an Alpha.

Anya has moved away from Lexa to sit on a couch arm. “Alexandria”, she says in a sweet voice. “Welcome home”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, Titus has hair. Not for long. Only this chapter


	3. Three Years Later

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Warning:

Mention of suicide towards the end

To say the next three years of life was easy would be a lie. It was hard for Lexa to be thrown into an unknown world and expected to survive. It didn’t help that she had earned herself a name. “The Father Killer”

It’s not like she minded the name or paid any attention to it. Most left her alone because of the little nickname, someone wanted her because of it. People have weird kinks, was one of the first things she realized. The nickname only stuck for a year before it was forgotten.

The first year of freedom Lexa had spent doing her own thing. She was a bum at home who often drove her motorcycle down beach roads at high speeds. She was careful to avoid the police and had become great at avoiding trouble. Once or twice she was escorted to the house in shiny metallic cuffs. More often than not it was Nia who arrested her. Lexa is sure the Alpha hates her guts.

Titus being the man of the house disapproved of her being arrested. He would say ‘the younger kids look up to you’. After all, she was the cool Aunty Alex. It’s not like she asked to be the cool aunt or an aunt for that matter but she knew he was right. After her fifth- eighth- maybe the tenth arrest she finally got things together. Anya had hooked up with a job at the bar she owned. It was called Trikru Forest. The name baffles Lexa but she quickly decided to pay no mind to it, beggars can’t be choosers.

Lexa spends most of her time at the bar. Anya has her work nights when possible but Lexa doesn’t mind working morning or all day. Sometimes she’ll protest this and Anya always says ‘got anything better to do’ and Lexa never does.

She has to admit she does take a liking to have her schedule busy, less time for trouble that way. She’s sure Anya has realized that too. Any smart person would.

With Lexa’s presence, the bar got more customers. She says it is her Alpha charm as most of the customers were Omegas and Betas. This lasted for a long time until the Alphas heard the bar was a popular Omega hangout at night. They could shoot their shot and show who was boss in the bar. Of course, Lexa would always be the top Alpha in the bar even if Anya said it was her but Lexa wasn’t working to impress anyone. She found great amusement in the Alphas' attempts to be the biggest Alpha.

The business went well and still is. Lexa had taken the occasional Omega in a work closet to satisfy her needs. She never took them as kids lived there and Anya couldn’t complain about her leaving work early.

It was sometime during the second year of freedom that she met a group of people that she dares call family. Or her second family as Raven likes to call them.

The group consisted of Octavia, a brown-haired Omega who was a fighter. She’s proven it by fighting some drunk Alpha in the bar and winning. After that incident, she earned herself the nickname ‘blodreina’.

Then there was Lincoln, the drunk Alpha who Octavia fought, and Lexa’s cousin. He was a calm Alpha and fell in love with Octavia the minute the wine glass smashed on his bald head. Lexa is sure Octavia is eye-fucking her cousin. Anya finds it gross and often tells them to get a room but Lexa finds amusement in it.

Then there’s Raven or Little Bird as Lexa calls her. She can make things go boom. It’s her go-to threat and surprisingly it works. Lexa is sure Raven is eye fucking Anya who eye fucks her back. Octavia takes those moments to get payback and tells them to get a room. That remark earns her an ‘I will kick you out’ from Anya.

Then there’s Jasper. He’s a scrawny Beta who may have a thing for the Alpha who goes by Monty. Lexa’s pretty sure Monty is straight and is falling for his doctor, Harper, but she can’t be sure of anything. She doesn’t dare ask and quite frankly doesn’t care enough to ask.

Then there are the two Alphas who are always together if they aren’t with the group. Bellamy and Finn. Bellamy is an uptight Alpha but recently he has love in his eyes. She’s not sure why. Finn is a fluffy head and idiot Alpha who Lexa doesn’t like. She tolerates him as much as he tolerates her. They don’t get along and more than often their Alphas clash. The Alpha clashing happens less and less when Raven reminds him ‘she murdered a man with her knuckles. She was seventeen’.

The group has become regulars over the years to the point Lexa knows their orders like the back of her hand.

The group gets a lot of free stuff due to the nonexistent friend pass. Anya often says there is no friend pass and never will but they never listen to her. All it takes is a bat of eyelashes from Raven and everything is ok.

On top of everything, the group likes to come in three, sometimes four, times a week. Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Maybe Sunday if their schedules allowed it.

To say Lexa’s life was finally going ok would be the truth. She didn’t see herself in this place years ago. To be fair she saw herself jumping off a bridge to end it all so she’s fine with this reality. Some could say she prefers it.


	4. Another Slightly Different Tuesday

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

It was a Monday when Raven had come in. It was late and close to closing time. There were two hours until Lexa would shut the doors and go home to the loud and rowdy house.

When the Latina had walked in, Lexa found it strange that she was alone and without the usual group but she paid no mind to it. It was a Monday and they never came on Mondays.

“What can I get ya?”, she asks the teary-eyed Beta. Raven grumbles something before putting her face on the counter. “The usual it is”. She retreats to the bar to get Raven’s usual. Rum and strangely enough a bowl of rice. They only serve rice to Raven as she demanded it years ago. In her own words, she had shouted ‘why can’t I have fucking rice’.

“Here you are”, she sets the drink down in front of the moping brunette. Next, she places the rice down along with chopsticks. She’s still amazed the Beta knows how to use them.

*********

Raven starts eating. She watches as Lexa serves the other customers. “Hey”, she points her chopstick at Lexa. One falls to the floor as her hand feels heavy. She assumes it is the rum.

Lexa sighs and puts down a new pair of chopsticks. “What’s up?”

“Are you not worried about me?”

“Worried about you?”, she asks as though she doesn’t know what Raven is talking about. “Why would I worry about you?”

Raven scoffs. “I’m here alone on a Monday. Do you not care why?”

Lexa tilts her head back and forth. She refills Raven’s drink and uses a napkin to wipe the rice off Raven’s face. “Hmm, no”, she turns and walks away.

Raven looks at her back as she starts sniffling.

Lexa glances at the clock. The bar doesn’t close till 12. It’s almost 11. “Hey, how long are you going to pick at the cold rice? Do you need me to drive you home?”

“No”, she sniffles. “Wouldn’t want to spend time with someone who doesn’t care about me”

Lexa eyes the bar. Raven is the last person in the bar. She sighs and leans against the counter. “Alright, Rae, what’s up?”

That’s all it takes for Raven to dive into her story.

*********

“And she kissed her!”, Raven starts crying.

Lexa stares at the girl like she is the dumbest person on Earth. She can make things go boom, fix cars, and probably make a spaceship out of a kid’s toy yet she can’t figure out Anya. Lexa laughs. “Oh Raven”, she laughs.

“Don’t waff at my wisery”, the Beta slurs over her words.

“That wasn’t Anya’s girlfriend or Mistress. The person who kissed Anya on the cheek was Tris. Anya’s best friend and sister in law. Luna’s wife”

Raven thinks for a second. Somewhere in her puddled mind, it makes sense. “You’re lying”, she grabs her stuff which is a jacket, and stumbles to the door. “You’re *hiccup* wying”, just like that the woman leaves the building.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Rae!”, Lexa calls out.

Raven tries to flip the Alpha off but holds up her pointer finger instead. It makes it seem like she’s pointing at the sky. “Stupid finger”, she curses.

Lexa laughs to herself as she cleans up after her friend. It’s minutes later when she finally stops and thinks things over. “I should’ve given her a ride”

The lights were bright and blinding even with her eyes closed. Knowing she wouldn’t get to sleep she lied awake on the bed too comfortable to be hers. She can hear someone moving around the room. “The hell”, Raven sits up. She opens her eyes and growls at the assaulting light.

There’s a small laugh from somewhere in the room. “Here”, the stranger gives her a cup. “Should help with your hangover”

Raven nods her thanks. She chugs it down and watches the stranger dress who doesn’t seem to care. The woman is shimmying into her underwear when Raven finally asks the question that has been plaguing her mind. “Where am I?”

“Um”, she looks around. “Niylah’s . . . she was here but you drunkenly kicked her out before we uh . . . y’know . . .”

Raven knows. She had picked up the hints due to her sitting naked on the bed and the woman who is still dressing. “God”, Raven flops back down. “Leave it to me to go home with a stranger”

“It happens to the best of people”, the woman sits on the bed. “You didn’t have a phone on you. Is there someplace I can take you? A house? Friends?”

“Trying to get rid of me so early in the morning, eh?”

The woman blushes. “No, that’s not it. I just assumed you’d have somewhere to be. I’m sorry if it came off as rude”

“Relax”, Raven pushes her way out of bed. “There is somewhere you can take me but”, she faces the woman ignoring her blushing face. “I wanna know who you are”

Clarke, as Raven had learned her name is, pulls up in front of the bar. “A bar . . . didn’t you go drink yesterday?”

“Trust me on this. I usually go here on Tuesdays. My friend owns the bar”, Raven leaves the safety of the car. When Clarke doesn’t get out she beckons her over with a wave of her hand. “C’mon, I owe you a drink or two as thanks”

Clarke eyes the building before leaving the car. She tells herself she’s not here to drink or have fun. She’s here to drop off the equivalent of a stranger.

The two-step into the building, Raven holding Clarke’s hand as though they are childhood friends. Clarke takes a look around at the bar. It’s an everyday bar. Some people laugh at tables, those who drunkenly play at a foosball table, others who talk at a pool table. Surprisingly no one is fighting.

“There she is”, Octavia spots her friend first. “And she has a lover”

That catches Anya’s attention. She sits by Octavia who has stopped ogling her cousin to look at the stranger. Anya pretends to not care as she leans against the table. “What a catch”, she mumbles with more sarcasm than truth. She would be lying if she said the woman wasn’t hot.

Lexa looks up from the glass she is cleaning. “‘Bout time you showed up Raven”. She looks away from Raven and to the stranger. She has hair that is more gold than blonde, blue eyes like the ocean, and a sweet but nervous smile. She’s the typical Omega. “Who’s the new girl, Little Bird?”

Smirking at the nickname Raven introduces Clarke. “Well, Commander, her name is Clarke”

Eyeing the woman Jasper asks, “where’d you pick her up?”

Clarke eyes the scrawny boy. She notes how his eyes linger on her for longer than she’d like. Normally she would say something about it but being in the unknown area has her staying silent. She goes as far to squeeze Raven’s hand.

“Funny story, I woke up after drinking and this blonde was naked . . . well in the middle of dressing. There was a third person but they wisely left early . . . or I kicked them out. Can’t remember. Anywho, we talked and she is going to be my new roommate”

Clarke’s confused and it shows. “I am?”

“You are”

“I don’t-”

Raven looks at the Omega with sad eyes. “Do you hate me or something?”

“No, it’s not that. I- we- I kinda- it’s just-”, she sighs, “alright”

Raven smiles while the rest of her friends smile at the Beta's tricks.

Lexa raises an eyebrow. “Interesting story there”, she turns to the blonde. The blonde doesn’t come off as promiscuous. At first glance, you’d assume her to be a virgin. She can’t be any older than 20. “What can I get ya? I know everyone else’s orders”

“I didn’t come here to drink”

“Then why’d you come here?”. It’s the first time Anya openly addresses the Omega. She knows she’s making a bad first impression by growling at the blonde.

The Omega eyes the Alpha before stepping away. “I uh, I came here to drop Raven off. I did that so I’m going to leave”

Anya nods. “Good”

“Cous, relax, the girl won’t take your Beta. Omegas and Betas don’t mate. They fuck but don’t mate”. Lincoln had known Anya was the protective type even to things she didn’t ‘own’.

Anya gives no response. She watches the blonde who eyes Raven’s neck. Clarke fails to find a marking but she doesn’t question the angry Alpha.

When Clarke looks away from Raven she notices all eyes are on her. The brunette behind her counter seems to be watching her reactions, the blonde-haired Alpha glares at her, the other woman sitting by the bald guy gives her a cold look. The bald guy looks at her with sympathy, an Alpha with the name tag ‘Bellamy’ gives her an unreadable look. Looking at him Clarke feels as though they have run into one another at some point. When she looks too long her tilts his head in a silent question.

Clarke looks away.

Skinny boy takes no interest in her as he watches some Alpha talk to a girl Clarke knows.

“Harper?”

The woman looks up. Upon seeing Clarke she smiles. “Clarke!”, she walks over to the blonde and pulls her into a hug. “Long time no see. I haven’t seen you at the hospital in quite some time”

“Yeah, my internship ended. I was planning on telling you but never found the time. I’m now sticking around the city and doing art-related stuff”

Harper nods. “I’m happy for you, nice to be away from mommy dearest, huh?”. She glances at Monty. The glance makes her miss the slight frown on Clarke’s face upon mentioning her mother. Harper can see Monty angrily clutching the pole. “I gotta go, don’t be a stranger”

Clarke is sure she pissed the Alpha off. “I’m gonna go”, she backs towards the door failing to notice the man behind her. She bumps into him and looks up. She only needs to see the fluffy head to know who it is. “Finn”

“Hey, you ok?”

“Yeah, sorry about that”

“It’s my fault. Here”, he hands her the phone that had fallen.

“Thanks”, Clarke walks around the Alpha. She had known Finn goes to some bar. She’s about to step out when Raven calls out her name.

“Clarke! On Thursday we all meet up. Feel free to come”

She eyes the Beta then her friends. “I uh-”

“C’mon, before you say no get to know us. We suck at first impressions but our second one is always the best”

She eyes the people again. Their faces haven’t changed. “I’ll think about it”, then she leaves. The bell sounding her departure.


	5. We're Just Friends . . . Promise

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Clarke had pulled around the corner when her phone went off. The song ‘boom clap’ played while her phone vibrated on the seat. Clarke reaches over and grabs her phone. She’s not sure who could be calling her as Niylah is at work. The number wasn’t unknown as it boldly said ‘My Best Friend’. Clarke doesn’t have anyone under that name that she is aware of but she has a feeling she knows who it is.

Picking up the call she sighs out a ‘Raven’

There was a delighted laugh. “I knew you would know it was me”

“Wasn’t hard to figure out”, the Omega holds back a growl when an old lady decides to cross the street. “When’d you put your number in my phone?”

“A magician never reveals their secrets”

Clarke watches the granny for a second before answering Raven. “What’s up?”

“Oh nothing, just calling my roommate”

“I can see that”

“Hey”, a pause, “I’m sorry if my friends scared you. They aren’t exactly ones to socialize with those outside of our little circle”

Clarke had noticed that. That was one of the first things she gathered about the group. It seems they are a tight-knit group. A part of her admires that as she never had that when growing up. “It’s fine”, she glances at herself in the rearview mirror. “I understand their suspicion”

“Really? That helps but I’m still feeling guilty-”

“Raven! Get off the damn phone and drink with me!”

“One minute O!”

Clarke smiles at both the granny finally crossing the road and the way Raven interacts with her friends. “It’s fine Raven. I take no offense”

There’s no response. Minutes pass before Clarke shows her concern. “Raven? Are you still there?”

There’s a sniffle, “I understand if you don’t want to be my roommate-”

Sighing, she cuts the Beta off. She had a fear it would come to this. She is well aware of what Raven is doing, it seems it's the beta’s go-to move to achieve what she wants. “I’ll tell you what-”

“What?”

“Let me finish-”

“Right, right, go on”

“Raven”, she growls.

“Sorry”

“It’s fine. How about you make it up to me on Thursday?”

“You mean you’ll come to the bar?”

“If your friends will allow it . . .”

“They would love to have you”. In the distance, she hears Raven say ‘right guys’. Grunts and groans were the replies. “See you Thursday?”

“It’s a date”

“Da . . . date?”

Clarke laughs at her sudden shock. She only said that knowing the big bad alpha Anya would hear. “Not literally, Raven. A friend date”

“I knew that . . . duh”

With one last laugh, Clarke says goodbye and hangs up. Her conversation lasted long enough for her to arrive at her apartment. “Now to tell Niylah the news”

**********

In the end, Clarke didn’t tell her. She intended to, she really did but there were other means to address. Yes, that’s it. The top thing to handle was the bulge in her roommate’s pants. That was at the top of her list . . .

For sure.

“There’s lunch in the fridge. We also need to go shopping so if you could make a list that would be appreciated”

Clarke watches her roommate bounce on one foot as she puts on her shoes. “Anything else?”. Clarke holds out the car keys for Niylah to grab.

“Um . . . don’t let strangers in, lock the doors. The basics”

“Alright, mom”, the keys are taken from Clarke. “See you around lunch?”

Niylah nods. “Don’t be late”, she tips Clarke's head up and places a kiss on her lips. “And be careful as you walk”

“I will, promise”. Clarke watches Niylah leave.

Once Niylah is gone she sighs and looks around the quiet apartment. She’s always hated when Niylah leaves for work. It leaves her alone in a quiet apartment. She’s sure if tomorrow goes well then her Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays will be occupied. Considering it is a Wednesday and nothing happens on Wednesdays she would still have to suffer through the silence.

If Clarke thinks about she realizes she’s not completely alone. They have a cat named Pauna. She’s a stray that comes and goes as she pleases. She’s an oriental shorthair that Niylah hates but Clarke loves. With the threat of Clarke moving out she’s not sure if Niylah will continue feeding the cat. She’ll only know when she moves out or breaks the news to Niylah.

Having nothing to do Clarke decides to job shop on her computer. She desperately needs a job. For the last three years, she’s been living rent-free in Niylah’s apartment but if she is to move in with Raven she’s sure she’ll have to pay rent. That’s another reason as to why she is doubting moving out.

It’s just another decision with benefits and downsides on both sides.

It’s around lunchtime that Clarke starts walking to Niylah’s shop. She’s crossing the street when her phone starts vibrating. “Hey”, Clarke answers the call. “What’s up?”. Clarke was shocked to see it was Harper who was calling considering she should be working at the hospital.

“I heard you were coming to drink tomorrow?”

“That I am”

“Great, that’s good. Finally branching out but uh, do you know Alexandria?”

“No, I do not”

“That’s fine. When you walk in tomorrow you’ll know who she is. She’s hard not to miss. Talk to her about art and such. I’m pretty sure she may have an opportunity for you”

_ Opportunity? _ Clarke’s had opportunities at every turn in life she took. She’s not sure what Alexandria may present to her. “Such as?”

“Just talk to her”, Harper pauses. Clarke can hear her tapping her pen on a hard surface. “I can’t promise anything but getting to know those guys and being on their good side may open a handful of opportunities”

She questions how. When she met them they didn’t seem like important people. They run a bar for crying out loud and from what Raven told her they spend at least ⅓ of the weekend drunk. “Will do”, Clarke hangs up. She walks into the shop and smiles at Niylah.

“You made it”

“I promised I would”. Clarke hides the worry in her eyes as she looks at Niylah.

_ What do you have for me Alexandria? _

“Suck it dipshit!”, Lexa laughs as she lays down her cards. “I’ll be taking those”

Anya, who sits across from her, scowls at her younger sister. “This is bullshit”

“No, you just suck at games”

From the kitchen, Indra laughs. She appreciates moments when Anya manages to get Lexa to have fun. She’s always been the best at that. “She’s not wrong sweetie . . . and stop with the cursing you two”

Shay, a brunette with gray eyes and Luna’s youngest, sighs. “Grams, what’s a dipshit?”

“Ha!”, Luna laughs. She smiles at her mother’s shocked face. Beside her, Tris frowns as she hates cursing especially from their young pups. Luna only stops smiling when her Alpha glares at her. “Shay, sweety, we don’t say those words. Aunty Alex is going to eat a bar of soap for using that language”

Lexa laughs. “Sure I will”, she stands up and puts on her leather jacket. As she’s tying her converse, more than one person asks ‘where are you going’. “Can I not take a ride on my bike?”

Ever since the incident, her family has fretted over her whereabouts. Who she hangs out with and if they’re good people. More than half of the time they think people aren’t good people. The family motto is ‘it only takes one mistake to fuck up your life’. Lexa knows that personally.

Everyone gives her the ‘who are you kidding’ look. Lexa lets out a heavy sigh followed by a growl. “I won’t get arrested or anything. I’m going to meet up with Costia. She’s freaking out over the latest paintings to her museum and such. Y’know the girl”

“Ah”, her mother nods, a frown on her face. “Costia”. Indra strongly dislikes the Omega.

“Are you going to meet up of fu . . . have fun with her?”, Anya corrects herself when Luna glares at her. She’s in no mood to eat soap.

“Meet up. I told you, all of you, numerous times we are nothing more than friends”

Everyone laughs at that, even Shay.

**********

Lexa walks past painting and glass cases. “This looks great Costia”

The redhead gives no response. She watches the movers carry in boxes and jewelry. Several guards watch them closely, they catch every movement.

“Hey”, Lexa nudges her. “It’ll be great. I promise”

“I know, I know . . . it’s just a new exhibit and sometimes it doesn’t go well. I had to put in a lot of money and if this flops, I flop. Financially and mentally. Maybe emotionally . . . I’m still debating that”

Lexa smiles at the small joke amidst the girl’s panic. In the distance, she can hear Echo shout at some innocent guy.

“Move! Are you an Alpha or Beta!”. Echo spots Lexa and smiles at her with a small wave. “I said move it!”

Lexa smiles back at the uptight Alpha before moving over to a bench. She holds back the urge to roll her eyes at her- the Omega when Costia’s words finally sink it. With a pat on the bench, Costia sits by her. “Listen, I know it may seem like what you do is . . . underrated but many love it. You’re super popular. You built this from a small studio to a giant building. You have plenty of support behind you. From my family to my friends, who are your friends too. Breathe, relax and let things run their course”

Costia smiles. “Support from your mother too?”

“Let’s not push it”

That earns Lexa a laugh. “Thanks, Lexa, thanks”, she lays her head on the brunette’s shoulder.

The two sit in comfortable silence. When Lexa feels the redhead place a hand over hers she hears her family’s words and can feel their doubt.

_ Just friends, _ she reminds herself.  _ Just friends. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems both Lexa and Costia have friends who are ‘just friends’


	6. V-Card

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Clarke was going to spend her Thursday relaxing and doing nothing as she normally does. She has no job at the current moment so her days are mostly free unless she marks plans with Niylah. Despite her day of relaxing Clarke was freaking out then relaxing only to freak out later. In her mind, she had nothing to worry about. She hadn’t made official plans and was never planning on going anywhere. Clarke was aware she could go to a certain bar owned by a certain Beta to keep a promise to a certain Beta. Then again, she never promised. “I said I would think about it”, she had said for the 100th time that day.

With that logic, she felt more at ease to know if she didn’t show she wouldn’t feel lonely. She could go on with her plans of doing nothing but there was a small feeling in her stomach that told her ‘you owe the Latina’.

So, after hours of thinking, stress eating, and worry, she finally said ‘fuck it’ and decided to go to the bar.

Despite her guilt and stomach feeling, Clarke had no plans of staying at the bar for a long time so she put on casual clothing. Denim shorts with tears at the front, a plaid jacket around her waist, and a white t-shirt that she tucked into the shorts. Her footwear was brown sandals that she’s sure are Niylah’s and ended up in her closet somehow. To complete her outfit she tied her hair back with a black hair tie found on the floor.

As Clarke looks at herself in the door mirror she can feel her nerves eating at her. She’s not sure why she’s so nervous over a simple night out. She’s had plenty of those. Mostly with Niylah, some with Harper. Other night outs were her alone to escape the apartment.

Maybe it’s the fact she’ll have, though she hopes not, to see the Alpha who hates her guts. Perhaps it’s the group of friends who were not nice to her upon their first meeting. They seem in no rush to get to know her. Or, it could be the dread of having to get to know more than one person. Clarke’s isn’t one to socialize willingly. In the end, she decides it’s all three that’s giving her the stomach eating nerves.

Taking one last deep breath Clarke leaves the safety of her room. She takes her car keys from the maroon bowl that sits on the marble counter. “I’m heading out!”

Niylah grunts from the couch. “You know the rule”. She never concerns herself over when or where her Omega goes as it doesn’t concern her.

“Yes, I know the rule”, Clarke sighs. “Be back before ten”, she still waves goodbye despite the fact Niylah can’t see her.

“Mreow?”, Pauna blinks at Clarke when she opens the door.

“Hi, Kitty”. She smiles as the cat walks into the apartment with her head held high. “Feed her, Niylah”

As Clarke is walking away she can hear Niylah growling and grumbling. “Fucking cat”

“And you won’t believe it”, Raven smiles at Anya from across the bar. Anya has been happily listening to her story, as the Alpha always does. “He . . .” Among the many Alpha and Omega scents, she can smell a familiar, sweet scent. It smells of sunshine shining on a field of flowers. Or warm cookies greeting you on a Christmas day. “She’s here”

Anya knows who ‘she’ is. A part of her was hoping to hear the ending of the story. Most of Raven’s stories were interesting and revealed more and more of her past or daily life. Despite how social the girl was no one really knew what she did outside of the group. Sure, they knew she tinkered with cars but what else?

Anya frowns as she realizes she won’t hear the end of the story. She could be frowning for other things she would deny. With a shrug, she walks over to a customer. “What can I get ya?”

Clarke walks into the bar, her nerves a mess and her head full of thoughts. When she steps in she’s swept into a hug by Raven. “Hey”, she hugs the Beta back with a laugh.

“I’m so glad you came!”, Raven smiles at her. “My friends said I scared you away but oh boy were they wrong”

In the distance, Clarke hears cursing. “Pay up O”

Anya had tuned out the man a long time ago. She asked for his order, not the menu. He goes on and on. She’s willing to nod along as she watches Raven with the blonde. It’s when Raven hugs Clarke that she finally has enough. “Coming right up”, she cuts him off. “Lexa! Be a good Alpha and get this man some whiskey”

“I didn’t order-”

Lexa, who has her hands full of dishes, stares at Anya. “You’re serving him”

Anya only growls but remains silent. She moves away from the man and further down the bar. Once there she leans against it, her head in one hand. “You actually came”

Clarke freezes. She knows that voice. It belongs to a certain Alpha she was secretly obviously hoping to not see. Swallowing past the lump forming in her throat she nods to the blonde Alpha. “Uh, yeah”, another nod. “I did promise Raven”

“And you keep them”

Clarke narrows her eyes at the Alpha. “That I do”, she says this like she is stating the sky is blue.

“What a surprise”

“‘Scuse me?”

“Well”, Anya shrugs. “It’s just you sleep around so I assumed-”

Having listened to the conversation Lexa decides this is the right time to jump in. “Klark, it’s nice to see you again”, she smiles at the blonde as she walks around the bar. Lexa stands somewhere where Anya is blocked from Clarke’s sight. “Are you going to drink tonight or do you want water? It’s free on the house”

“Can I get some damn whiskey!”, the angry man shouts. He pounds his hands on the bar like some insolent brat. Seeing as Anya won’t get any more words in, she decides to serve the man.

Clarke watches the Alpha walk away. She’s not sure what she did to make the Alpha think she sleeps around. A part of her questions if she comes off that way to everyone she meets. She can’t, her list of people she’s had sex with doesn’t go further than three people. _Is it because I’ve slept with the Beta who may be claimed by the Alpha?_

Lexa watches the blonde’s eyes change emotion faster than she can blink. She knows if Clarke keeps thinking she’ll fall down some rabbit hole of despair. With a cough, she purposely gets Clarke’s attention. “What’ll it be?”

“Whiskey. I’ll have whiskey”

 _A whiskey girl._ “Coming right up”, she then turns to Raven who watched everything. “I’ll get the usual going”

“Thanks, Commander”. She takes Clarke’s hand and leads her over to the table. “Guys, you remember Clarke”

The table stops trading money and cursing at one another. One by one they look at her, a glare in their eyes. One girl lets the skinny boy out of a headlock so she can focus on Clarke. The skinny boy grunts as he smooths over his hair and adjusts the huge goggles on his head. “The fuck O”, he grumbles.

A bald guy is the first to speak. “Lincoln”, he smiles at the Omega. With the generosity and kindness in his eyes, Clarke decides she likes him.

 _Talk to him,_ she notes, _talk to him._

“That’s Octavia”, Raven says knowing she’ll have to introduce them as they won’t.

Octavia waves. “Sup”. The woman is a simple Omega yet she makes Clarke want to submit.

 _Don’t piss her off,_ she notes with a wave to Octavia.

“Jasper”

Goggle boy downs some tequila, his hand already in the air asking for more before he’s done swallowing.

“Monty”

Monty nervously smiles at Clarke. “Hi”

“You know Harper”

Harper smiles at Clarke. “Glad you came”

 _That makes one of us._ “Yeah”, Clarke nods.

“Then there’s Bellamy and Finn”, she spits out Finn’s name.

Bellamy looks up from the arm wrestle he’s having with Finn. Stopping for a second he nods to Clarke. “Hey”

Clarke nods back. She watches as Finn defeats Bellamy. With a cheer, he flexes and kisses his muscles, his eyes on Clarke. “Sup, Clarke”

She ignores him.

“Oh, then we got Anya, the Alpha who seems mean but is really nice, I promise”. Anya doesn’t look up when her name is said. “And then L-”

The brunette Alpha pushes past Raven with a tray of dishes. “Whiskey”, she says as she hands the glass over to Clarke. “Take it easy. This group is full of party people. They’ll drink till their stomachs are thrown up then drink some more”

“Noted”

**********

Clarke had spent close to an hour getting to know the strangers. Would she call them friends? Not yet. That’s no surprise as Clarke has met several people throughout her life, they’ve hung out and exchanged numbers yet they are no more than strangers to her. That being said she has noticed the group is a lot nicer than she thought. She’s seen the way they interact with one another. The light touches exchanged, the smiles they give one another, and how in tune they are to emotions. It seems they avoid certain subjects. Because of their closeness, she knows she’ll forever be the oddball. Not that being the oddball matters too much to Clarke, she has no plans of seeing a lot of these people.

Across the table, Bellamy holds the hand of Octavia as they prepare for an arm wrestle. “O, sis, I love ya but you’re not going to win in this arm wrestle”

Octavia laughs in his face. “You sure about that bro?”, she squeezes his hand. “I remember a certain little girl pushing your face in the mud as children”

No response.

Clarke can imagine the memory Octavia brought up. She struggles to put a face on the small kids as they wrestle in the mud. She imagines Bellamy would have long hair and Octavia short hair. “Hey”, she leans over to Raven. “They’re siblings?”

“Siblings with different fathers. Bellamy is super protective of the Omega but we all know she needs no protection”

“Really?”, Clarke asks with mild interest. She eyes Bellamy. With the knowledge of them being siblings she can see the way he positions himself around Octavia.

“Yeah, get this. A while back Octavia had attacked a drunk Alpha”, Raven pauses. “I can’t remember how the fight broke out but let me tell you, Octavia picked up a bottle and slammed it on his head. Oh boy, was his blood everywhere”

There’s a slam on the table that makes Clarke jump. Octavia smiles at Bellamy and says “suck it Bell”, then she faces Raven. “Telling the story again?”

“Uh, yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

Clarke looks at Octavia. “Did you actually-”  
“Beat an Alpha in a fight? You bet”, Octavia smiles. “After all, that’s what blodreina does”. The strange name makes everyone at the table cheer.

Clarke assumes it’s another inside joke. A memory she’ll never know.

Besides the very interesting relationship between Octavia and Bellamy, Clarke has taken interest in Jasper and Monty’s relationship or lack of relationship. To Clarke, it seems Jasper likes Monty but Monty is oblivious to it. Maybe he ignores it or maybe she notices it due to her second gender.

Clarke had been told by Harper that Monty likes her and she may like him back. She’s not sure but with how old Harper is, she’s actively looking for a strong, suitable ALpha to give her pups and mate her. The same thing most Omega wants. The older you get the stronger the urge to carry on an Alpha’s genes gets.

Despite Harper liking Monty, they haven’t made anything official in fear of hurting Jasper. Clarke thinks it is obvious that Monty is straight and won’t mate a Beta but Jasper doesn’t seem to care. On top of that everyone is trying to set him up with someone.

“Jasper, I met this Omega a while back. She’s super nice”

“Don’t try to set me up with an Omega, Lincoln. We all know Betas and Omegas don’t mate”, Jasper stares at his empty glass. “They can’t have pups”

“You don’t want pups and neither does she. Plus, if you see her you may lose your V card”

“Ha! To an Omega, I’d rather die”, he spits out in disgust.

Now Clarke knows he’s among the 10 percent of people who think Beta and Omegas shouldn’t mingle or talk. Betas are low on the social scale making them the equivalent of rats in some people’s eyes. There’s the king, Alphas, queen, Omegas, then the peasants, Betas. Of course, most thinking changed after the “Betas Are People Too” movement.

“Cool it Jasper”, Raven whispers. She looks around at the few people who glare at them. “Don't start something you’ll lose”

“It’s not going to be his V card anytime soon”

Clarke respectfully looks down at her drink. She doesn’t have to be respectful for a Beta but seeing how his friends are laughing at his blushing face she can show some sympathy. Jasper notices this and looks at her. For the first time, he looks at her with kindness.

“You heard”, he whispers.

Clarke gives him no response. She looks away from the table and to the bar. At the bar the Alpha brunette, whose name she doesn’t know, serves people. Despite how close everyone says they are it seems the brunette keeps away from the group. Clarke looks away when someone grabs her arm.

“Clarke!”, Jasper clings to her, snot running down his face and to his chin. Tears mix with the snot. “I’m gonna die alone!”

“Huh?”

“No one will take my card! Am I not attractive?”

 _Not like that._ Clarke squirms away before snot can get on her clothes or skin. “Jasper”, she says. “It’s ok. I only lost my card two days ago”. Clarke is the only one that is aware of the lie she just told and from Finn’s look she knows he’s questioning her.

“That’s a-”

Clarke cuts him off before he can continue. “Don’t you have a game to play, Finn?”

Jasper talks before Finn can. “Great, I’m going to lose it to some Beta!”

“That some Beta is your friend”, Raven throws food at Jasper. “And the Beta who took someone’s car”. She punches the air with excitement.

“Will you take mine?”, Jasper sniffles. “Might as well lose it to a friend”

“You wish goggle boy”

Clarke listens to Jasper plead to the Beta who turns down everything he offers. The begging turns into an argument. Pretty soon Clarke has enough. She stands up and grabs the tray. “I’ll get refills”

Thankful to be away from the rowdy group, Clarke walks over to the counter. She flops down on a seat with a heavy sigh.

“They get a little much, huh?”

Clarke looks up. Anya stands in front of her with a smirk. “Huh?”

Anya shakes her head. “Nothing, I’m taking it, they want a refill on everything?”. When Clarke nods, Anya gets to work making their drinks. She can feel the blonde’s awkwardness and uncertainty. Despite knowing this she doesn’t say anything to the blonde, she has no words to say.

As she goes to put the last drink on she stops. She eyes Clarke then looks at Raven. She had heard the Beta say something about losing her card. “So Raven took your card?”, she asks.

“You heard that?”

“Course . . . she wasn’t exactly quiet. Not that she ever is when drunk but imagine losing your card to Raven”, she smiles at the blonde.

“Yeah”, she smiles back. “It was rough”

Anya lets out a small laugh. She sets the last drink on the tray and waves the blonde off. “Don't get too drunk. I know you drove here”

She nods and walks away with the tray. Anya watches her walk away. Having the small chat with the blonde has made her realize she’s misjudged the blonde. She saw how Raven looked at the blonde and at first assumed it was something threatening but now she sees it not. 

Not even an hour later Clarke goes back for another refill. She’s questioning who pays for all these. There must be a running tab.

This time Lexa spots Clarke before Anya does. She waves goodbye to her latest customer and walks behind the counter. “Refill on everything?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not too happy with this chapter. Something about it has me not liking it but I’ve rewritten it, erased and started over, adding things, removed things. After all that I still don’t like it but I can’t get rid of it as it leads to other events.


	7. You're No Threat . . . Right?

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

When Clarke came to the bar the first time Lexa had let Anya help her. She knew Anya had words she wanted to say to the blonde. But with Clarke approaching a second time and Anya busy, Lexa takes the opportunity she let pass last time.

Lexa walks over to Clarke, a smile on her face. “Refill on everything?”

Clarke would be lying if she said she wasn’t happy to see the brunette and not Anya who is shouting at a customer. “Everything but the whiskey”

“Can’t handle your drinks, Klark?”

“Oh, I don’t drink with strangers”, she glances at the party behind her. The group gets louder with every passing second, a headache is beginning to form.

“Strangers can become friends as fast as friends can become strangers”, Lexa turns her back to fill the glasses.

“Where’d you hear that?”

“Not heard”, she shakes her head. “More of witnessed”

Her tone makes Clarke think she doesn’t want to talk about it. A very angry Anya growls “I’m sorry if you barfed on yourself” making both Clarke and Lexa laugh.

“Hey”, Lexa says, getting Clarke’s attention. She sweeps her hair over one shoulder. “It didn’t seem like you were strangers with the group”

“You were watching?”

Lexa shakes her head, some hair falling from her shoulder. “More of listening-”

“A lot of mores”. Clarke mumbles this in a teasing way. She worries she angered the Alpha when she doesn’t respond. Looking closer she can tell or assumes, the Alpha is smiling.

“Yeah Yeah”, she says hoping to hide her amusement. “Listening is what I do . . . but they’re nice people, Klark, but they do dumb things when drunk”

Clarke nods. “I’ve noticed”, she glances at Jasper who is hanging off a seat screaming the floor will eat him. With no response she looks at the brunette. She seems focused on getting the drinks done. Taking this moment to eye her Clarke spots an infinity symbol on her neck. She can’t help but stare at it.

“I got it when I was 22”, Lexa says. She smiles at Clarke over her shoulder. “I don’t know why, guess I was feeling rebellious. It looked cool. I’m quite fond of it now, not because it’s my first tattoo”, turning she sets a glass on the tray. “You got any tattoos, Klark?”

“I’m not brave enough . . . it was your first tattoo?”

“I wasn’t either”, Lexa ignores Clarke’s question. “I was drunk. Maybe you should get drunk”, seeing a frown on Clarke’s face Lexa quickly continues, “We got the best beverages around”. She watches Clarke furrow her brows in confusion. Blue eyes stare at Lexa’s face with obvious confusion. Raising her eyebrow she watches the wrinkles smooth out as a grin spreads across Clarke’s face. “Did you try to sell me something?”, she asks with a laugh. Lexa shrugs to Clarke, her eyes focusing behind the blonde. “That’s for you to decide”

“I think you did”

“Did it work?”

“Mmm, not quite”

“Darn”, Lexa smiles at Clarke before leaning back. “Raven, she likes you. Well enough to consider you as her roommate”

Clarke nods. “I’m not sure if her liking me is a good thing”. She motions to the Alpha who is now shouting at the customer, “I don’t hand out shirts to drunks!”

“Oh, Anya? She’s just not sure of you. She’s used to all the faces that come and go and seeing a new one can be a little”, a pause, “Unnerving? It must be an Alpha and their territory thing”. Lexa shrugs not sure why her sister is such a stick up the ass.

“But-”

“I’m so chill? Your words are very”, Lexa struggles for the words.

“Predictable?”

A nod.

Clarke fakes a scowl. “Yeah, yeah”, she repeats earlier words.

Lexa sighs with a smile. “This isn’t my territory, to answer your earlier question. That and you’re not a threat to me”. Turning she leans against the counter, her back to the counter. “Unless you are”, there’s a question hidden somewhere in there.

“I’m no threat”

Lexa feels as though there is more to that sentence than the blonde is willing to say. Now she knows Clarke holds secrets she guards. A part of Lexa wants to ask and get her to tell those secrets but the more civil, appropriate part of her knows better. She settles for a nod instead of words.

With no words being exchanged the two fall into a comfortable silence. Both find it strange how fine they are with the silence and the presence of the other person. They’re nowhere near being called friends, Clarke would dare to call Lexa an acquaintance at most. Maybe a not so strange stranger.

“Aren’t they close?”, Finn nudges Bellamy.

“Who?”  
“Lexa and Clarke”

Bellamy eyes Clarke and Lexa. “They’re not even talking”

“Exactly”

“Huh?”

“They’re comfortable enough to not talk”

“Ah, I see . . . what about it?”

“You and I both know how naive Omegas can be and how dangerous Lexa is. We don’t want her dragging Clarke down, now do we?”

Bellamy sighs. “I don’t care, man, they’re just talking. Do what you gotta do”

Finn nods. “Great, I’m going to interrupt”

Bellamy grabs his shirt before he can walk over there. “Not that”

“So”, she breaks the silence first. “The yelling man is regular?”

“Yep, we call him Barfing Buddy”

Clarke laughs at the nickname. She almost apologizes not sure if Lexa meant it as a joke but based on the smile she assumes she’s safe. “Then the yelling is a regular thing?”

“Nah, he only barfs three out of the five times he’s in here. Guess today you got lucky”

Another laugh, this time from both of them. “If that’s what you can call it”

“Hey, last week he barfed on Anya. Got banned for three days, didn’t make it the three days though”

“That must’ve been a show”

“Yeah, it was. Anya was all ‘you barfed on me’ and he was red-faced and stuttering out an apology. There was throwup spilling from his mouth. It flung onto Anya who said ‘stop talking’. Oh, it was amazing”. She looks at Clarke who is already looking at her. They meet eyes, neither of them trying to look away.

“What . . . what a story”, Clarke whispers.

“Yeah”

There’s an angry ‘where’s the drinks’ followed by a slam on the table. Sighing Clarke looks away, her eyes on the ground. “I should go”

“Yeah . . .”

*********

Clarke’s not sure what she did. One minute they were all shouting at her, the next they’re arguing who Clarke gets to hang out with next. One could argue they’re drunk and confused but they were drunk when shouting at her 30 minutes ago.

“No”, Raven protectively puts her arm around Clarke’s shoulder. “I found her! She’s mine!”

Clarke risks a glance at Anya. Surprisingly the Alpha is smiling. A while back she had pulled up a seat to watch the chaos unfold. She didn’t seem on edge that Raven was clinging to Clarke like a koala. To Anya, she finds it rather amusing how Raven has taken a liking to Clarke and the way Clarke deals with it. Raven hasn’t been so dead set on being friends with someone since Sinclair. In a way, Clarke reminds Anya of Sinclair.

“That’s not fair!”, Jasper groans. “Not fair”

Raven responds to him by sticking her tongue out then pouting to Clarke. “They’re going to take you . . . you’ll stay right?”

Clarke lets out another sigh. “Yes, Raven, I’ll stay”, she says trying to comfort the drunk. “I’m not going anywhere”. _Though I should be getting home._ Looking at the clock her eyes widen with realization. “Oh shit, I gotta go”

“You liar”

If Clarke were to leave now she may make it on time but she’s cutting it close. “I’m so sorry Rae”, she pulls the Beta off and gathers her stuff.

Lexa watches the blonde who seems in a rush. She repeatedly mumbles ‘shit shit shit’ as she searches for her car keys. She, like everyone else, wonders why Clarke is in a rush.

“You can’t leave”. Raven pulls Clarke’s car keys out of her pockets. “I’m just getting to know you”

The two fight over the keys for several minutes before Clarke gives up. She’s pinching the bridge of her nose, taking deep breaths to calm herself. “Raven”, she growls. “Please”

“No!”

“Fine!”, she takes a minute to calm down. “Fine”, she repeats. “Call me and I’ll be anywhere you need me, alright? Just . . . please give me back my keys”

Hearing her desperation Lexa almost takes the keys from Raven. Instead, she watches as they argue for another ten minutes until Raven hands the keys over, a satisfied smirk on her face. She managed to get Clarke to agree to drinks on Saturday.

“Saturday at eight?”, she asks Raven, her eyes on her watch. Raven nods. “Great”. Clarke rushes to the door only to stop. She may be in a rush but she still has manners. “It was nice getting to know you all”

Many say a drunk ‘you too’ while Jasper shouts ‘woohoo’.

Smiling at the drunk she looks at the brunette realizing she failed to get her name, again. Lexa only raises a brow at the blonde. “Are you not in a hurry?”

Giving the Alpha one last look she pushes the door open. There’s a honk as Clarke unlocks the car with her keys.

“Drive safe Klark”

Clarke walks into the apartment as quietly as she can. She thinks she is safe when the light turns on revealing a very pissed-off Niylah.

“You’re late”, the Alpha growls.

“I know, I know”, she sighs. “They were a lot rowdier than I thought”

“I can tell”. Niylah takes the car keys and Clarke’s shoes from her hands. “I hate to put a curfew but with-”

“Past events, I know, I know but rest assured, nothing happened”. Clarke walks towards her room. “Goodnight Niylah”

“This isn’t over Clarke”

“Goodnight Niylah”

“Clarke-”

The door closes. In her room, Clarke can hear a silent ‘goodnight Clarke’

Lexa places the last drink in the sink. “Alright, everyone got a ride?”

Harper nods. “I got Jasper and Monty”

Lincoln lifts a drunk Octavia. Even drunk she protects saying ‘I’m blodreina, I don’t need to be carried’. Of course, he ignores the Omega. “I got Octavia and Bellamy”

“I’ll be taking Raven home”, she looks at Lexa. “I don’t know if I’ll come home tonight”

“I expected as much”

“Meaning?”

“Nothing”, Lexa shakes her head. “We all know you have to nurse Raven’s constant throwing up and hangover”

Anya almost agrees until she senses sarcasm. “This conversation isn’t over”

“Sure it isn’t”

Lexa watches as everyone leaves one after the other. With them gone she quickly cleans their table so Anya doesn’t yell at her for the mess. As she’s cleaning she finds a phone hidden under a seat. Seeing as it’s Raven's seat she knows the Beta hid it and forgot about it.

“Careless idiot”

Lexa turns the phone to try and understand who it may be. The case has a photo of Clarke with the Alpha who runs the flower shop not too far from here. They stand in a well-lighted place, lights in the background make the place seem fun. Almost like a fair. The sky is barely visible but Lexa can see it’s night. _What a romantic photo,_ she thinks before looking at the other photo. This time Clarke kisses the cheek of the Alpha. Lexa’s not sure where they are but Clarke looks younger. Looking at their clothes she can see Clarke’s wearing a graduation cap and gown. _So you’ve been friends since 18? Maybe sooner . . ._

“Huh”, Lexa gives them one last look before putting the phone in her back pocket. She knows she’ll have to find the blonde sometime tomorrow or give it to her on Saturday. The easier option is to wait but a part of her doesn’t want to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how I feel about this one either


	8. Flowers, Breakups, and Names

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

“Y’know, I don’t mind eating alone. I know you’ve made new friends and-”

“I’ve told you a hundred times, Niylah”, Clarke smiles at the Alpha. “I love having lunch with you and I don’t have new ‘friends’ . . .”

“Staying up past ten then agreeing to have drinks with them tomorrow . . . that doesn’t make you friends?”

Clarke shrugs. “I don’t know, they’re nice people but it’s hard to explain”. Not wanting to talk about it Clarke lowers her eyes to the food on the table. In all honesty, she’s the only one eating as Niylah had lost her appetite a while back. With no conversation happening and Clarke eating Niylah busies herself. She checks the flowers and eyes the many items for trade or sale. To Clarke, it seems she’s always taking inventory or checking on flowers.

Niylah’s shop isn’t anything special. It’s an everyday flower shop, rare to find in such a big city, but it has a big business. It started as a trading place but Clarke had demanded Niylah grow flowers to ‘spruce up the place’. When a customer comes in they give Niylah something she wants, she gives them money, then sells their things for higher than she bought them. More than often they buy flowers and seeds for some reason, not like they had a goal of doing so when they first came in.

At first, Clarke had shown great doubt in the shop but soon regretted her words. Clarke is glad the shop is working well as she can now leave the apartment to have lunch and smell flowers.

“Niylah, do you need help?”

Before Niylah can respond someone walks in. They wear a motorcycle helmet and leather jacket. Clarke stares at this person while Niylah smiles at them. “The usual?”, she asks in the chipper, employee voice.

The stranger nods.

A part of Clarke wants to be shocked that Niylah knows the person well enough to know what they want. Then again she doesn’t care as the brunette, supposedly, has memorized hundreds of orders. A smug smirk pulls at Clarke’s lips.  _ Step it up Niylah. _

As Niylah is putting the bouquet together the person spots Clarke. They stare at her for a second before frantically patting down their pants. “Shit”, their voice is muffled by the helmet. Before they can find what they are looking for NIylah holds out the flowers. “Ah, thanks''

Clarke blinks at the person. She has a feeling of recognition for the person. The Feeling gets stronger when the person waves to her as though saying goodbye to a friend before leaving. “Who . . . was that?”

Niylah’s too distracted to listen. She puts away her scissors and bags. It’s when Clarke lets out a sad whine that she responds. “Who?”

“Helmet person”

“Oh, did you not meet her last night?”, Niylah looks at her. “Alexandria Woods?”

It’s not clicking.

“Lexa”, Niylah offers. “Um . . . green eyes, a brunette. Works at Trikru’s Forest . . .”

The green eyes fill in the blanks for Clarke. “Ah, that’s her name”

“You mean you went drinking with the daughter of one of the richest families and didn’t know her name?”

“It’s not my fault . . . we were never introduced”

Niylah looks but doesn’t say anything.

Clarke’s fine with that reaction. She’s glad it didn’t turn into some argument like most of her night out discussion did. She leans back in her seat, one leg going over the other.  _ Richest family, huh? Is that what you have to offer? _

Lexa walks into the familiar two-story house. She looks around, not surprised to be met by silence. It was just her and Costia in the house as her family was out doing other things. “Cos?”, she calls out. She had left her lover upstairs as she went out to grab breakfast and flowers. She found Costia to be most lazy in the mornings.

Lexa ran up the stairs and to her room. She finds Costia lying on the bed in nothing but a hoodie. “Hey, Lexie”, she smiles. Relieved she hasn’t disappeared, Lexa sets down the food and flowers. “I got your favorite”

“Favorite flowers or food?” The redhead sits up, crawling over to the edge of the bed to nose through the bags.

“Both” She leans over the food to kiss Costia. As always her lips are soft but not pillow-soft. There’s a hint of mint on Costia which has always made Lexa recoil.

“Mmm”, Costia leans back. “I do love both”

**********

Lexa looks up at Costia. She can see the hunger swimming in blue eyes as they stared down at Lexa’s stomach. Costia had pushed her shirt up not bothering to remove clothes.

“So chiseled”, she remarks, her hands going on the hard abs. Lexa’s abs were one of Costia’s favorite things about her. That and her appreciation for rich things. She was being spoiled and she wouldn’t change a thing. “You didn’t run today”, she comments.

Lexa lets out a laugh. “I was busy caring for a certain Omega”

“Hmm, do I know her?”

Smiling Lexa runs her hands up bare thighs. “I don’t know but you would love her”

“Really? Why?”

“Well . . .”, she trails off knowing somewhere there’s a list of things to love about Costia. She’d rather not state them all right now. “Kiss me and you may find out”

“I like the sound of that”

Costia goes in to kiss Lexa only for a hand to stop her. Costia growls hating being stopped but she doesn’t move in for another kiss. “What-”

“I’m dying in this jacket” Lexa shakes herself free of her leather jacket. To be honest she feels cold without it but she doesn’t want Costia getting any juices on it. She barely got them out last time that happened.

Lexa goes to toss her phone off the bed when the golden phone falls out. She looks at it,  _ forgot I had that. _

Costia leans over grabbing the phone. She turns it over, giving the photos a quick look over, before looking at Lexa. “What’s this?”

“A phone”

“Lexa”

Sighing Lexa sits up making Costia scoot off her. “Someone left it”

“Why do you have it?”

“I was going to return it, haven’t gotten the chance yet”

There are a few seconds of silence before Costia looks back at the phone. She turns it on. “Where’d they leave it?”

“The bar”  _ Where’d you think they left it? _

Costia eyes the lock screen. Strangely enough, it’s Raven licking the face of the strange blonde. “Raven knows her”, she comments more to herself.

“Yeah, they had a fling a while back”

Costia can see many missed calls. She scrolls down from the top and sees a missed call from ‘My Best Friend’. There are a few messages from a person called Niylah. She can’t see the messages but she doesn’t care about them.

“Hey”, Lexa reaches for the phone only for it to be pulled away. “Don’t go snooping”

“It’s not like you to personally deliver things” Costia ignores her comment.

“It’s a phone, I wanted to make sure it got to her”

“Did you now? Who is this person? You seem to know her”

“Names don’t matter . . . I barely know the Omega anyways”

“An Omega?”, she looks at Lexa. “You know this OMEGA enough to keep her phone”

“I would keep the phone of anyone”

“The bar has a lost and found”

Sighing Lexa knows she has no remark to that. She watches as Costia shoves the phone into her hand then starts dressing. “I don’t get why you’re so mad”

“You’re cheating on me!”, Costia glares at Lexa.

“Chea- wait, what?”, Lexa climbs off the bed. “Hold up, I can’t cheat on someone I’m not dating”

That shocks Costia. She opens and closes her mouth repeatedly before turning away and leaving. She doesn’t slam Lexa’s door but does slam the front door.

“Yeah, I know Raven”, Anya reaches for the doorknob when the door opens. She’s speechless as a very pissed off Costia walks past her. She watches the redhead stomp down the porch and through the gates. “Hey, Raven”

“Hmm?”

“I uh, I gotta go. Talk tomorrow” Before Raven can ask why Anya hangs up. She cautiously steps into the house. “Lexa?”

No response.

“Alexandria? Are you here?”

There’s a loud sigh. Within seconds Lexa is walking down the stairs, she itches at her head as though her OMega didn’t just storm out of the house. She’s shocked Lexa’s made no effort to chase after her like usual. Instead, she stands in a sports bra and shorts.

“What’s up?”

“Costia-”

“Left, I know”

“And you’re not chasing after her?”

Lexa shakes her head. “Did you bring home groceries?”

“Woah, Woah, you’re NOT chasing her?”

Another shake. “She’s pissed over something she can’t be pissed about. It’s whatever. Give it time and she’ll realize how dumb she’s acting”

Anya blinks. “Wow, ok . . . you feeling alright?”, she reaches out to put her hand on her sister’s forehead. Lexa growls slapping her hand away.

“I’m fine”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, I don’t know if they get long


	9. Breaking The ‘Rules’

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Saturday had rolled around fast for both Clarke and Niylah. One minute they were sitting in the flower shop talking, the next they’re rushing around the apartment to find their appropriate objects.

“I know I left it here!”, Niylah exclaims. She rushes past Clarke who bounces on one foot to put on her tights. She’s currently topless, her hair a mess. “Dammit”, she curses.

“Can you get me a bra?”, the blonde asks when Niylah goes into her room.

“Color matter?”

“Preferably black”

A black bra is tossed out of the room. “Have you seen my stupid shirt?”

“Washer”

“Washer?”

“Washer”, Clarke repeats.

“When did you wash them?”

“I”, Clarke spits out. She grunts as she pulls on her tights. “Didn’t wash them. It was your turn to do laundry, remember?”

Niylah curses. She puts on another random shirt before putting on her jacket. When she walks into the living room Clarke is clipping on her bra then reaching for her shirt. “Want me to drop you off?”

“If you could”, Clarke flashes a smile, her face momentarily disappearing as her shirt slips on. She finds her shoes by the door. Taking one last look in the mirror Clarke smooths down her hair then sighs. “Look fine?”

“Perfect”, Niylah opens the door. “We smell of sex”

“You’re the one who demanded last-minute sex”

“You could’ve denied”, she gives Pauna a light kick on the butt to get the cat inside. “I’m just saying”

“Let’s just go”

*********

Clarke had arrived early at the bar due to Niylah’s schedule. When she walks in she sees Lexa cleaning up the counter. “Hey”, she offers a small smile.

“You’re here early”

“Yeah, my roommate drove me. She had to get to work”, Clarke doesn’t want to talk about it. She’s sure Lexa can smell the Alpha on her. She wasn’t able to get rid of the sex smell despite spraying numerous amounts of vanilla on her. Not that she needed it. Niylah had told her her natural scent was vanilla among other things. “So, I left my phone here . . .”

Lexa frowns. “Really?”

“Yeah, do you have it?”

The brunette takes a quick look around. “Afraid not, what’s it look like?”

“Gold, the back was clear with gold flakes. It sticks out, hard to miss”

“Must be hard if you forgot it”

“Yeah, yeah”, Clarke sticks out her tongue playfully, a smile pulling on her lips. She’s surprised when Lexa sticks hers out too in a playful way.

“Were there two photos?” Clarke nods. “Do they have a very smile, blonde Omega in them?”

“That they do”  
“Is the lock screen Raven licking your face?”

Sighing Clarke nods. “Yeah, where is it?”, she smiles.

Lexa reaches in her back pocket. “This phone?”, she holds up a gold phone. “Matches description and all”

“You little-”, Clarke reaches for the phone only for Lexa to pull it away.

“Uh uh”, the brunette steps away. “I think you hurt its feeling”

“I’m sorry”, she reaches again. Her fingertips brush along Lexa’s hand. “Alright, what do you want?”

“Who said I wanted anything?”

“Who said you didn’t?”

“Touche”, Lexa nods. She steps towards the blonde, her hand out. “A proper greeting”

“Really? That’s all?”

“That’s all”, a pause, “Were you expecting more?”

“Nope”, Clarke takes her hand. “Consider this a proper greeting. Name’s Clarke, you?”

Lexa smiles. “Lexa . . . Lexa”

"Lexa Lexa?"

"No, Lexa Woods"

The two look at one another, neither of them saying anything. Clarke’s thumb absentmindedly brushes along Lexa’s backhand. _It’s soft,_ she stares into green eyes.

“It’s uh”, Lexa swallows. “It’s nice to meet you Klark”  
“You too”

There was a loud cough. The two stepped away from one another, Lexa looking at the counter while Clarke looked at Raven. “Should we come back another time or . . .”

“No”, Clarke quickly snatches her phone. “Hi”

“Are you sure? cause I can come back later or never?”

Clarke rolls her eyes. She walks away from the counter and to the table, they always sit at. “Raven, sit, talk with me”

**********

“And that”, Raven claps her hands, “is why I don’t eat avocados”

Clarke just blinks. “I’m sorry, what?”

“What?”

“You”, she laughs, “sorry, you don’t eat avocados because they remind you of bricks?”

Raven nods. “Yep”

“What the- how?”

“Just look at them, Grif! They’re green, like mossy bricks, they have a strange gritty texture”

“That makes no sense, Reyes”

“It does so!”, she stands up, hands on the table. “Of course you don’t understand”

“No, no I get it”, Clarke lies. “Avocados, bleh!”

“See! She gets it”, she looks at Octavia. “I told you someone would”

Octavia had shown up roughly an hour ago. She wouldn’t say why she was late but her showing up Lincoln had said a lot. Clarke didn’t feel like she was in the place to tease or remark since they didn’t know one another well but Raven had poked and prodded until she got what she wanted.

Octavia grunts at her friend. She still hasn't forgiven her for exposing her.

“C’mon on Octavia”, Clarke smiles. “Everyone kind of assumed it would happen”

Octavia turns to Clarke. She stares at the blonde before smiling. “Really? That obvious?” Clarke nods. “Dang”, she laughs.

With Clarke on Octavi’s supposed good side, she focused on the other people. Monty was without Harper for once. Clarke had noticed how much he talked to Jasper with Harper gone. She can see the two are close or closer than she thought they were. She can also see Jasper loves when Harper is gone. A part of Clarke aches for the Beta but a part of her wants to tell him to get over it.

Seeming to read her mind Raven says ‘those two have been friends since school’

“Huh?”

“Jasper and Monty. They met when they were around 3rd grade age, stuck together since. Then their relationship had faltered upon Harper entering the picture but we all like her, even if Jasper won’t admit it”

Clarke nods. “Does Jasper get along with her?”

Raven nods. “Yeah, great actually. He’s the reason we met her. He was dared to hit on her and she rejected him pretty soon. She doesn’t date Betas”

“So did you all meet in weird circumstances or?”

Raven shakes her head. “Nah, I met the Blakes, Octavia, and Bellamy, in highschool. Been close since. Met Jasper and Monty on graduation day, Lincoln kinda snuck his way in after losing a fight, Lexa was introduced to us by Anya who wanted her sister to meet people”

Clarke thinks everything over before nodding. Seeing as Lexxa was brought up she thinks it safe to ask about her. “So”, she pushes a cup of rum towards Raven. “What’s up with Alexandria?”

Raven blinks. “Ale- bless you?”, she asks. “No, not a sneeze. Who is that?”

Beside Raven, Octavia laughs. “She means Lexa. No one calls Lexa her long name. We all avoid it, actually”

“Oh, why?”

The table goes silent. They all look towards the Alpha who is smiling as she talks to Anya. Jasper is the first to break the silence.

“We can tell her right?”, he leans over to Monty, trying to be secretive. “She might as well know before she falls for the Alpha”

“Dude”, Monty hisses, equally drunk. “You SUCK at whispering, idiot”

“You both suck” Octavia lets out a huff of annoyance. “Listen, Clarke, what we tell you never came from us and you don’t speak of it”

Clarke nods.

“Lexa”, Raven begins. They all lower their voices when the Alpha looks at them. Everyone waves at her except Clarke. The Alpha narrows her eyes at the table before shrugging. “She uh . . . she’s what everyone called the ‘broken case’ for many reasons”

“Reasons?”

Jasper opens his mouth only to have a hand put over his mouth. “It’s not our place to tell”, Raven growls at him. “Anywho, you can get to know her. We welcome it. In fact, she’s a good person. A wonderful Alpha. On top of that, I think she may want to get to know you too. Everyone in this damn bar does, you stick out”, she smiles when her friends nod their agreements. “But let me say this”, she points a finger at the Omega. It holds an unsaid threat. “No matter what, don’t fall for the Alpha. If you do you open Pandora’s box of shit. You don’t want that now do you?”

All eyes are on Clarke. She gulps at the sudden pressure. “Yes”

Everyone glares.

“No, no, I don’t want that”

“Good, you fall for her and open Pandora’s box then she may fall for you and open her own Pandora’s box then we’re all screwed”, a pause, “not that it matters. You may not get far as Lexa is dealing with Costia”

“Costia?”

“Yeah, her Omega. Now be a champ and get us all refills”

Clarke was more than happy to get refills. Sure, she may not be drinking tonight but getting away from the pressure is a relief. With a quick nod, she stands up and walks over to the counter. As she expected Anya is the first to see her.

“The usual?”

“Yeah . . . but if you don’t mind can she get them?”, she motions to Lexa. “I wanna ask her something”

Anya hesitates. “Like?”

“I’ve met everyone but her” She innocently looks at Anya, her willing every bit of Omega softness to show. “It won’t be long”

Anya nods. “Sure”

The only reason she is so willing is because of Lexa and Costia’s fall out. She knows Costia will show up again, _that greedy bitch,_ and Anya wanted Lexa to have a potential different mate before anything could happen. “Lexa! Come serve The Duck!”

Clarke realizes her nickname a little too late. “I’m not a duck”

Anya who has walked around the bar ruffles her already messed up hair. “Welcome to the family, Duck”

Before she can respond Lexa walks over, a smile on her face. “The nicknames fall, trust me”

Clarke already feels better once the Alpha smiles at her. “Do they now, Commander?”

“You heard that”

“Yeah, Raven refers to you as Commander. It kinda sticks out”

Lexa laughs. “I knew it was her but that nickname will be around forever. I’m sure Duck will drop if you truly hate it”

“Nah, if it means Anya doesn’t want to kill me then so be it”

“She never wanted to kill you. Guess she was jealous”

They look at one another before Clarke looks away. “So, Commander, how did that come to be?” Lexa’s frown has Clarke panicking that she asked the wrong question. She quickly shakes her head, “you don’t have to answer, I was-”

“No, it’s fine”, Lexa puts on a smile. “It’s uh, it’s because I’m the youngest Alpha in my family yet I bossed them around as a kid. Just an inside joke” Lexa unknowingly itches the back of her neck, a nervous smile now on her face.

Eyeing her Clarke nods. She can tell Lexa was holding something but she doesn’t push or prod.

“Hey”, Lexa leans over, her face close to Clarke’s. She hopes her doing this will change the topic. “Look at Anya” Clarke looks at Anya. Lexa sighs and gently pushes on the blonde’s cheek so she can see the same thing Lexa does. “You see Raven and Anya?”

“Yeah, course”

“What do you notice about them?”

“They sit close to one another . . . talk a lot, smile a lot. I think Anya is blushing”

Lexa nods. She turns and goes back to filling glasses. “Don’t let Anya hear you say that. Anyways, Anya has a thing for the Beta. Though they aren’t together”

“They aren’t?”

“Surprise, huh?”

“Uh, yeah”

“You got to screw Raven before her. I suppose that upset her. Anyways, we all have bets going on when they will finally do it . . . wanna bet?”

“I don’t have money on me”

Lexa thinks for a second. “Who goes to a bar without money?”, she doesn’t wait for a response. “We’ll share a bet. I said two weeks”

“Sounds reasonable.

Lexa places down the last drink. She stops Clarke when she goes to stand up. “I heard you say you wanted to get to know me”

Clarke slightly blushes. “You did?”

“Ears like a hawk”, she shrugs. “I’ll have Anya take the tray. Sit, I wanna talk to you”, the Alpha smiles at her. “If you’ll allow me”

*********

“Seeing as I was crying, Anya punched me in the face to knock out my tooth. Mom wasn’t happy but it worked”

Despite Raven drunkenly calling her name Clarke hasn’t gone back to the table. She’s spent some time laughing and talking with Lexa. They’ve told a few childhood memories. Behind her, she can hear Anya hushing Beta so she knows it’s not too important.

Anya was only shushing the Beta so she could watch the two at the counter. She's been watching them throughout the night. SHe’s only protecting her little sis, that’s the excuse she will use. It’s the excuse she’s been using when Raven points it out to her. Anya can’t help but pick up on the jealousy in her voice.

At the 30 minute mark of them talking Lexa had stopped serving customers. The smile on her face hasn’t fallen once unless teasing the blonde. It seems she loves to do that.

Clarke jumps when her phone goes off. The song ‘September’ was playing. Sighing Clarke grabs her phone and looks at the caller. She knew it was Niylah calling to ask if she needed a ride. “One minute”, she answers the call. “Niylah”

“Hey, I just got done, you need a ride?”

“Nope”

“You sure-”

“Yes”

“I-”

Clarke hangs up before Niylah can continue. Her phone goes off again making Lexa laugh. “Take it, I can wait”, she says. Clarke shakes her head. “It’s not important”. She denies the call and silences her phone. “You said you fix cars, tell me about it?”

**********

“Ok, ok”, Lexa smiles. “I admit, it was a dumb decision”

“Told you”

“Alright, enough about me”, Lexa runs a finger around Clarke’s glass. She chugs the remaining whiskey. “I wanna know about you”

Clarke’s not sure if there’s much to say or if she should be talking at all. It’s 45 minutes past 11 and Niylah has called maybe 20 times with a bunch of messages. Finn had asked ‘you leaving soon’ and Clarke almost tore his throat out. Right now she doesn't care for time or being late or whatever punishment is waiting for her. She was having fun for once in years.

“There’s not much to know about me”, she sighs finally answering Lexa’s question. The brunette had looked at her as she thought things over. “I’m the daughter of a scientist and doctor. End of story”

“That can’t be all. Why are you in the city?”

“I had an internship”

“Had?”

“It ended a while back. I did it for 3 years after graduating at 16”

Lexa nods. “Straight to the point”

“Told you, nothing interesting”

“You graduated at 16, that seems pretty interesting”

“I was close to 17 and it wasn’t interesting. It was weird”

“Impressive”

“Weird”

“Awe-inspiring”

“Mystifying”, Clarke smiles. “I know big words, Lexa”

“Darn”, Lexa smiles. “Fotoase”

Clarke frowns. “Huh?”

“You may know big words but not other languages”

Furrowing her brows Clarke thinks it over before sighing. “You got me”

“So, Mrs. GraduatedAtSixteen, what do you do now?”

“I’m currently jobless, searching. I was an intern at a hospital but uh . . . I’m no longer doing that”

“What do you hope to be doing?”

“Something with art. I don’t know, all the jobs I look at are very uninteresting”

Lexa nods. Hearing about art she thinks to Costia. She may not be on great grounds right now but she’s sure she can make something happen. “I-”

Chaos at the front entrance distracts everyone. There's shouting and yelling then glass shattering as the door is kicked open. A very pissed off Lincoln goes to stop the stranger but he's too late. She's made her way into the bar, Alpha scent dominating most other scents.

"What is the meaning of this?", Anya is on her feet. She releases a calming pheromone towards the cowering Beta by her.

The Alpha scans the bar. She goes over faces and objects with a scowl on her face. The scowl deepens when she spots who she wants. “Clarke Griffin!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure when the next update will be. Maybe late Wednesday, possibly Monday.
> 
> Translations:  
> Fotoase - badass (I just used arse and got rid of the r)  
> I did find a big translator thing but didn't like badass as it was 'badas'


	10. Parents, Roommates, Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold is before the events that happened in the last chapter. I have a feeling this chapter and the next may bring feelings if anger . . .

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Warning:

Mention of rape/non-consential

**It was around 9:30 when Niylah had closed up the shop. She would’ve stayed open till 10 it wasn’t for the fact they got very few customers after eight.**

**“Thanks for the work Mrs”, Mark, a 12-year-old Alpha, smiles at Niylah. “I’ll be here tomorrow . . . if that’s ok?”**

**“Of course, Mark. You’re always welcome. I appreciate the help”**

**“Will Mrs. Griffin be here next time? Mama wants me to give her some fudge”**

**“I’m not sure”, a pause, “I’ll tell her you’re waiting for her”**

**“That’s awesome”, Mark smiles.**

**“I’ll see you later”, she waves to the young Alpha. “Tell your mom I say hi”**

**“Will do” He waves before running down the sidewalk.**

**With him gone, Niylah checks the shop lock before walking away and towards her car. She’s intending to go home and eat some leftover pizza but she remembers Clarke. “I should pick her”, she whispers with a smile. She pulls out her phone and calls Clarke. “H-”**

**“Niylah?”**

**“Hey, I just got done, you need a ride?”**

**“Nope”, Clarke’s response was quick and straight to the point. She didn’t sound too happy. Niylah’s sure she would be frowning if she were face to face with the blonde.**

**“You sure-”**

**“Yes”**

**“I-”**

**A beeping noise on the other line signaled Clarke had hung up. Unable to believe it Niylah says ‘Clarke’ two times before giving up. “You really hung up on me?”, she growls. She calls again only to be declined the minute it rings. “Fine, you can walk”**

**************

**By the time Niylah is at her apartment door, she’s still grumbling about Clarke, her best friend for years, ignoring her. “Fucking Clarke, how dare she hang up on me?”, she grumbles under her breath. She was mad as she rode home, she was pissed as she walked up the stairs, and she’s still mad as she lets the cat into the apartment. With an angry shove, she opens the front door. “Stupid . . . uh . . .”**

**Niylah blinked at the person in front of her. She knew who it was. The brown hair with light brown highlights and brown, judging eyes gave the Alpha away. “Mrs. Griffin”, she greets with caution.**

**“Ah, Niylah” Abby looks around the cabinet door to look at the familiar Alpha. “Is it just you?”**

**“Yeah, just me right now. So uh, what are you doing here?”**

**Abby laughs. “I’m here to see my daughter, of course”, Abby looks around. “Where is she?”**

**_Lie or tell the truth? Lie . . . definitely lie._ ** **Swallowing past a lump in her throat, Niylah thinks of a lie. “She should be here any minute, let me call her”, she steps out before Abby can say anything. Digging through her pockets she frantically looks for her phone. It takes longer than it should for her to find her phone and call the blonde. “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon”**

**The phone rings several times before going to voicemail. Her voicemail, “You’ve reached the voicemail of Clarke Griffin, you know what to do”, is followed by a beep.**

**“Clarke, answer the damn phone. Your mother is here and she’s going to kill me”**

Clarke had known Niylah would come and ruin everything if she didn’t answer her phone. She assumed she had roughly 30 minutes before the Alpha would storm into the bar but she was wrong. “Niylah”, she growls, turning to face the Alpha. “Go away . . . mom?”

Standing by the entrance is the last person Clarke had wanted to see. Abby Griffin. Abby is a light brown haired Alpha. She has brown eyes. Her hair and eyes color leave many to believe Clarke isn't her biological child.

Most of the time Abby has a smug smile on her face as things fall into her palm, but right now she's struggling to control her anger as she looks at her daughter. “Clarke”, she growls, nails digging into her arms.

“Wha- mom, what are you doing here?”

“No, what are you doing here? Especially this late”, she doesn’t wait for a response as she approaches Clarke. Her wrinkled yet strangely smooth hands reach for Clarke’s wrist. “We’re leaving”

“Wait, no”, Clarke steps away. She almost falls off her stool as she moves away from her Sire. “Answer why you are here?”  
Sighing, the Alpha rolls its eyes. “I’m here to get you”  
“I know that. Why are you here, like in this city”

“If you would’ve answered Niylah’s calls, you would know”

Clarke, of course, knew Niylah would call for what she considered to be important. She didn’t count on it actually being important.

“Ah”, Clarke nods. She looks at all the panicked messages Niylah had sent. “So it was important”  
“You should answer a call even if it isn’t important, dearest”

“Right, where’s Niylah?”

Abby waves her hand towards the entrance where an out of place Niylah stands. She nervously taps her feet, her eyes going over the bar’s interior design. Upon seeing Clarke, Niylah waves. “She called”, Abby steps in Clarke’s way.

“Mom-”

“You know not to stay out”

“Mom-”  
“Especially at a bar, Clarke, are you trying to get raped again?”

“Mom!”, she shouts. Clarke’s not sure how she’s feeling after her mom revealing that to the whole bar. She knows her ‘friends’ have heard which doesn’t help. “Can we talk outside?” 

Abby eyes the bar one last time before walking towards the entrance. When she steps outside the door is closed behind her. “Clarke?”

Clarke ignores her mom and turns to Niylah. “What the fuck”

“I called you, don’t you get mad at me”

“I know that but why is she here?”

“I don’t know, I went home and she was there”

“So you bring her HERE?!”

“I said I would go pick you up and make sure you weren’t dead and she said, and I quote, ‘dead?! I am coming with you’ . . . dead was the wrong word to use. Long story short, She demanded to come”

“That doesn’t mean you let her come!”, Clarke pulls at her hair. Letting out a frustrated growl she turns away from Niylah. “Alright, this is fine”

“Is it?”

“No!”, Clarke turns back to Niylah. She grabs her by the collar and pulls her to her eye level. “Thanks to your stupidity she announced _that_ , I’m pretty sure the fucking neighbors heard too”

“I didn’t know she would say anything”

“She heard it from you, to begin with!”

“You know it just came out-”

“Well keep it in”, she lowers her voice. “Those people, these people, may have some opportunities for me, and thanks to you dragging my mom here those opportunities may have left!”, she pushes Niylah away.

"Is that why you hang out with them?"

"No, it's nice to get away from _you_ sometimes" Growling she walks away from the Alpha.

“Where are you going?”

“Can I not grab my stuff or is that prohibited by mommy dearest!”

Niylah rolls her eyes but remains silent. She follows Clarke over to the bar. When Clarke walks over Lexa slides her phone over to her. “Don’t wanna forget it again”

Clarke nods her eyes on the phone. “Thanks”, she walks over to the table and grabs her keys. “Rae-”

“I know, you gotta go”

Even if most of her ‘friends’ eyes are on Niylah, Clarke can feel a majority of other eyes on her. She wishes for the ground to swallow her up.

“But I’ll see you tomorrow, right? To check out the apartment?”

“Yeah, around lunch?”

Niylah turns away from her glaring competition with Lexa. “But lunch-”

“I’m”, Clarke growls, cutting her off. “Not having lunch with you for a long, long time”

“Fine but checking out an apartment? What’s that about?”

“Can we not?”

Clarke pushes past the Alpha and starts heading towards the entrance. She stops when she notices Niylah isn’t following. “Ugh, fine, I’m moving out”

Silence.

Raven awkwardly whistles, Octavia pulls Lincoln over to a pool table. Jasper is gaping at the huge Alpha in front of him, Monty is passed out on the table and both Anya and Lexa are watching carefully. Anya watches Niylah while Lexa watches Clarke.

“Wah! You can’t move out! That’s a very dumb decision”

“Can we seriously not? Not right now?”

“You know-”

“Abby won’t be happy, I know, I know . . . it’s just ugh-”, she tosses her arms into the air. “I’m going to care. Join me when you please”

“So in five minutes or-”

“I’m walking”

Clarke leaves, not bothering to wait for a response.

Staring at the closed door Lexa runs over the conversation that had just happened. It was more of an argument than a conversation. Lexa knows it’s not her place but she wants to know more. Everyone in the bar wants to know more. Her opportunity comes when Niylah walks over to the counter with a sigh.

“Can I get some tequila?”

She eyes the Alpha with suspicion. “Should I serve the driver alcohol?”

“Give me a drink and I’ll answer one of those questions I’m sure you have”

“Alright”, she nods. She pours the drink and slides it over to Niylah. “Should I let Clarke leave with you?”

“That’s what you want to ask?”

“I care more about Clarke’s safety than her past. Now then, should I let her leave with you?”

Niylah downs the drink. “Why wouldn’t you let her?”

“I don’t know who you are. People come and go from here, all familiar faces. It’s not below humans to take advantage of an angry Omega”

“I’m a childhood friend of hers. Trust me, she’s safe with me”. She slides her credit card over and heads to the door. As she’s walking out Lexa asks ‘you want your card. “Have the girl”, Niylah motions to Raven, “give it to Clarke when they meet up”

When Niylah leaves, a now awake Monty asks ‘we don’t like her’ to which everyone nods. “We like Clarke though?” Everyone nods. “Right . . . ok, so that Alpha is an asshole”

“Alphas”

“Clarke”, Niylah tries to get the Omega to talk as they walk up the stairs. “Clarke, I’m sorry-”

“I told you it wasn’t rape”

“You said-”

“It wasn’t rape”, she repeats. Clarke crosses her arms as Niylah unlocks the door. “It was a misunderstanding”

“Is that you speaking or the lawyers?”

"I didn't want lawyers in the first place for something not serious!", Clarke pushes past Niylah. She picks up Pauna. “Fuck you, Niylah”

“Now, Clarke, Niylah’s just trying to help”, Abby steps into the apartment. She’s never liked the place and it shows.

“Go home mom”

Clarke’s door slams shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many things happening in a very short chapter.


	11. The Apartment

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

“Clarke, where are you going?”

Clarke was hoping she wouldn't run into her mother as she left. They’ve been arguing all day, the neighbors have shouted more than once at them. Clarke was tired of shouting at her mother then glaring at Niylah. She was done. “I'm going out”, she whispers.

“Right, but where?”

“Just out, ok?”, she quickly leaves the apartment before Abby can say anything else. She’s out of the apartment building when she realizes she forgot the car keys. Not that she cares too much, Clarke would love to take a walk and clear her mind before meeting up with Raven.

*********

Raven happily bounces on the front of her feet as she waits for the arrival of her potential roommate. She’s been excited to meet with Clarke since yesterday, well before that. She’s not exactly sure how she had convinced the blonde to be her roommate. At first, she was kidding but seeing Clarke’s life Raven now knows she can be that one friend Clarke needs. Though it seems all of Clarke’s friends or relationships are with an Alpha. But who wouldn’t want to be friends with a Beta? Especially one that could make things go boom.

Seeing the blonde approach the entrance to the bar, Raven stands up intending to greet her. However, she stops herself when Clarke doesn’t walk in. The blonde looks at her phone then Raven. She gives an apologetic smile before answering it.

“Great”, Raven sighs, “more waiting”

Clarke would prefer not to answer the call but she knows Abby would keep calling then hunt her down. “Mother”

“Don’t sound so cold”

“What do you want?”

“I was told you were moving out, that true?”

She was hoping to speak to mom about moving out when they were on better terms. “She told you”

“He”, Abby corrects her daughter. Inside the apartment, she’s eyeing objects with a scowl. “But that doesn’t answer my question”

“I’m moving to a more convenient place”

“For the internship, you don’t have?”

 _Well shit._ “You found out”

“Yeah, of course, I did”

“I’m just . . .” _can I tell her?_ “I’m doing something with art. Maybe. I don’t know”

“I hope you didn’t just say art”

No response.

“You know-”

From inside Raven had seen Clarke’s face fall. It went from stone-faced to mad to heartbroken. “Alright Raven, do your best friend thing”

Raven pushes the doors open and loudly says ‘you made it’. Clarke doesn’t get to react as Raven pulls her into the bar. “I’m so glad you made it, I was getting worried”

“Clarke, who is-”

“Mom, I gotta go” She hangs up before Abby can say anything else. She takes a minute to see if Abby will call back but she doesn’t. “That could’ve gone better”

Raven shrugs. “Someone once told me ‘don’t stress the could haves, it should have, it would have”

“Who was that someone?”

“A dear friend of mine. We’re no longer in touch”, Raven looks at the ground.

“Would you like to be in touch?”

Raven nods. “I would love that”, she shakes her head. “Alright, enough about me”

Clarke nods. She eyes Raven who has a distant look in her eyes. Looking away from her she looks around the bar. Clarke’s shocked to find unfamiliar faces. “If the party isn’t here the owner doesn’t show?”

There’s no response.

“Raven”

“Huh?”

“Where is everyone?”

“Oh”, she looks up. “Anya spends plenty of time here. Her house is hectic so this is a getaway. There are four pups there, three under 10 and one under 5”

“Her pups?” Clarke has never heard of an Alpha who is mateless and raising four pups of their previous lover.

“Ha! Anya having pups. Nice joke”, Raven snickers to herself. When Clarke doesn’t laugh she realizes how serious she was. “Oh, they’re not Anya’s pups. Her sister, Luna, lives there with her mate. The whole family lives in that two-story mansion. You got Indra, Titus, Anya, Luna, Lexa, Lincoln, Trist, and the four pups”

“Tris is . . .?”

“Tris is Luna’s mate or Alpha as some say” Raven walks behind the bar and takes a bottle of rum.

“Why do they all live together?”, moving over to the bar Clarke takes a seat.

“The Woods has always been a close family. It runs in their black blood. Any picture of them you see online has someone with someone from their family or their mate. Never alone, never apart”, Raven sighs as she struggles to open the bottle. A part of her knows she’s paying way too much but she can’t hide too much if Clarke is expected to be a part of the group. “I guess it’s their thing. It only got worse after the incident”

“Incident?”

 _Too much._ Looking around Raven makes sure no one will hear them. She beckons Clarke closer with frantic waves of her hand. “Murder”, she whispers.

“Murder”, Clarke laughs. She leans back and looks at deadly serious Raven. “Wait, actual murder?”

“I’ve said too much”

“But-”

“You’ll learn soon enough”. The bottle finally pops open. Raven greedily chugs some of it after leaving a note on the counter. “Anywho, you’ll often find Lexa and Anya together. They’re the closest of the siblings. Luna’s kinda just there. She never took a real liking to Lexa when the Alpha moved in. It shows, leave them alone for too long and they’ll start fighting. Not physically, no one dares to fight Lexa with fists. It never goes above shouting”

“Who usually wins?”

Raven shrugs. “Depends on what nerve you strike. One time Lexa won by bringing up Luna’s ex, the twins real Sire, then Luna won by . . . making noise”, she whispers the last part.

“Making noise?”

“Yep, making noise. It’s a long story”, she holds up a finger when Clarke goes to ask about the story. “Not for me to tell”. She eyes the blonde. It only takes one look to know she wants to know more about the Woods, _about Lexa._ Raven could always say ‘google them’ but she’s not sure if she should say that. It appears it hasn’t clicked to Clarke that they are on the famous side of things.

If Clarke were to google Lexa Woods she would articles and articles about the brunette. _That should keep her busy._ Then there’s the fact that half of the stuff Clarke would find would scare her away and Raven can’t have that. She’s sure at some point the blonde will find out either by Lexa’s mouth or drunken words spilled from the mouth of someone else.

“Hey”, she taps the blonde with the cold bottle. “Stop thinking, your head is going to explode”

“So, Lexa-”

“Nuh-uh”, Raven shakes her head. “Want to know about someone, you ask them personally. If they trust you then they’ll tell you, if they don’t trust you then get them to trust you”

“Who told you that?”

“No one but someone once told me ‘you know my name, not my story. You’ve heard what I’ve done, not what I’ve been through’, keep that in mind if you do decide to ask Lexa”

“I can do that”

Clarke takes the drink and chugs some. “Easier said than done”

“Easier to keep it in mind or trust?”

“Trust. With how things went yesterday I’m sure your friends hate my guts”

Raven blinks at Clarke. “You serious?” the blonde nods. “Ha, that’s rich”, she laughs. “With how things went yesterday I’m pretty sure they love you. If anything the fight convinced them”

“Really?”

“It’s just . . . we’re all broken in some way, y’know? Just a bunch of broken people getting drunk. I guess it’s nice to know someone as pretty as you is broken like the rest of us”

Clarke questions how they are broken. She thinks Raven looks normal and acts normal. Sure, Jasper is a little weird.

“Sorry, not broken. Rough past. Don’t think too much about it, how about you come to the apartment so I can show you your new living quarters?”

“Goddammit”, Lexa growls. She kicks off another pillow in frustration. Her mother, Indra, had just put the pillow back.

“Would you knock that off?”, she hisses as she puts the pillow back on. “Don’t make me kick you off the couch”

Lexa doesn’t respond as she continues scrolling through articles.

“What’s wrong?”, Anya walks into the living room holding a bag of trash.

“I can’t find anything”

“On?”

“Clarke, who else?”

“I assumed Costia considering she dropped off the face of the earth”

“She didn’t drop off the face of the Earth”, she huffs. “I just . . . I know where she is”

“Right” Indra can tell the conversation isn’t something she wants to hear. She takes the trash from Anya who nods her thanks. “So, you’re stalking the blonde now?”

“No, not entirely. It’s just, if someone was raped or whatever you often find something about them. Their name ends up in an article or headline. At some point. I’m not find anything”

“Do you know her last name?”

“Yeah, she told me”

Anya raises her eyebrows in question. She smiles when Lexa hangs her head in defeat. “I thought so. It helps if you can google Clarke Shay or Clarke Merriweather, y’know? Maybe tomorrow, if she shows, ask her her last name or ask her yourself”

Lexa nervously bites her lip. She’s not sure how to bring up last names and such without sounding suspicious.

“Wait”, Luna walks into the living room with Shay on her hip. “Did you say Clarke?”

A nod from both Alphas.  
“Oh, I know Clarke. Not well but we used to have playdates when mom would meet with her mom, Abby Griffin, I believe. They moved some time ago. Mom was close friends with Abby”

“Does this Clarke have blonde hair?”

A nod.

“Blue eyes?”

A nod.

“A gorgeous smile and perfect lips”, Anya says in her best Lexa voice. “Perfect, kissable lips”

Lexa growls and throws a pillow at Anya. “Get out”

“It’s my house-”

“Out!”

“Alright”, Anya walks away laughing. “You do your research on your little love interest”

Luna perks up. She eyes her little sister with judgment. She knows the Alpha doesn’t have the best judgment when it comes to relationships, not to mention she sucks at building them. “Love interest?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”, Lexa grumbles. She doesn’t look at Luna as she types in Clarke’s name.

“Is that not why I asked?”

With a huff, Lexa looks up. “Go away, Luna. I’m sure Shay wants to do other things than listen to her aunt’s non-existent love life”

Luna knows she won’t get far. Her attempts to start a conversation with her sister never goes to plan. “Alright”, she sighs. “But can it be fair to know everything about someone who doesn’t know more than your name and childhood stories?”

“How’d you-”

“Anya, she talks a lot. Anyway, do as you please but don’t forget there’s a party coming up. You’re coming”

Raven had shown Clarke around the small but perfect apartment. The blonde seems to be taking a liking to the place. She’s sure the fact she’s living with someone with who she won’t have lunch within a “very, very long time” plays a big factor in her liking. Other than that, it’s the perfectness of the apartment.

“And this”, she opens a door. “Is your room, shall you accept the arrangements and such”

Clarke nods. She steps around Raven and into the room. It’s a fair-sized room. Plenty of space, smaller than the one she has at Niylah’s. She is thankful for the personal bathroom and closet. Those two things set this room apart from the room she’s currently living in. “It’s a nice room”, she smiles. “This whole apartment is nice”

“Yeah . . .”

Raven’s place is a two-bedroom and three bathroom apartment. Unlike most apartments in the building, hers has a washer and dryer in the guest bathroom. The kitchen and living room are separated by height. The kitchen is a small step higher than the living room. It’s a nice kitchen, tidy and all. The living room is also cozy. Though on the tour she could hear music coming from Raven’s room so she knows Raen isn’t exactly silent. Clarke’s sure she’ll spend plenty of nights wishing Raven would sleep.

“So . . .?”

“It’s a nice place. Cozy, closer to places I’ve been looking at for a job. One question though?”

Raven tilts her head. “Shoot”

“How do you feel about cats?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> During the chapter Lexa and Clarke shake hands (Breaking The ‘Rules’), Clarke says her last name. I went back and deleted that as I realized why in my ‘to happen notes’ I left it out.  
> Probably no updates for at least three days. I'm reviewing the next chapters. I have finished this story but did it a while back. I’m currently writing and changing the direction of this story.


	12. To Alphas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So . . . life got busy. Heh, sorry. It’s almost been a week since I updated and in all honesty, I rushed this chapter as my week is going to be even busier. Family stuff, activities, life. Y’know how it is

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Raven was expecting Clarke to ask her more serious questions but she only asked one question and it wasn’t that serious. Of course Raven responded with ‘they don’t bug me’, which they don’t. She had one cat growing up and she loved it like it was her own even though it wasn’t and lived three blocks away.

She moves over to the couch and sits down. “So, what do you say?”

Clarke eyes the apartment one last time before shrugging. “I don’t know, I love the place but . . . what about Niylah? I don’t know if I’m ready to move out”

“You mean you’re not ready if she’s ready for you to move out” Clarke goes to object but Raven cuts her. “Is that a no? To moving in?”

“I’m not saying that-”

“So yes?”

“I didn’t say that either”

Raven sighs. She’s ‘giving up’ faster than she usually would. Despite giving up she still pouts to show her distaste for Clarke’s unsureness. “It’s just an offer, Clarke. You, of course, can do as you please. I won’t even bribe or beg”, she pulls out a card and holds it out. “Take it. I’m not going to use this to get what I want”

“There it is!” Clarke takes the car. She feels as though a weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

“Yeah, return it to Niylah for me. I was supposed to give it to you so you could get it to her”

“Return it? It’s my card”

That piques Raven’s interest. “Really?”

“Yeah”, Clarke blinks at the card before growling. “She must’ve taken it. I have this tendency to leave at night and buy random shit when mad”, she explains when Raven gives her a look.

“So she took it?”

“Yep”

“Like a parent taking a toy from a pup?”

Another nod.

“Like she sees you as some toddler”

Clarke blinks for a second before nodding. “Yeah . . . yeah”, a pause, “tell you what, Reyes. I’m going to move in. Though I’ll need time to get my thoughts together”

Raven smiles. “You won’t regret this Griff”

Oh, how wrong Raven was.

As Clarke walked up the never-ending steps to her apartment she could feel the guilt eating at her. She’s not sure why she is feeling guilty when her moving out is something destined to happen. “But Niylah”, she tries to reason. “Niylah loves me. I mean so much to her”, Clarke stops in front of the door. _I mean so much to her._

On top of breaking her friend(with many benefits)’s heart, there’s her mother. Clarke knows a fight will break out leading to yelling and potential tears if she uses her Alpha status on Clarke. Despite all these obvious signs she should get away, Clarke still isn’t sure if she’s making the right choice but seeing how Niylah puts rules and such on her, she feels this is the right choice to make. More than the right choice.

Pushing the door open Clarke walks in with a heavy sigh. She is prepared for yelling and shouting from her mom but there’s only silence. “Where”, she looks at Niylah who is looking in the fridge, “where’s my mom?”

“She left”

“Left?”

“Yeah, said she had friends to visit. She’s staying at a hotel. She also said she wishes to have dinner with you”

Clarke nods. She’s not surprised her mother had left when an opportunity showed up. Abby must’ve known Clarke would fight and not back down. “Right, Niylah?”

“Mmm?”

“Can we talk?”

Lexa stares at the computer with defeat and anger. She sighs then growls. Her hands grip the computer. _I could throw it-_

“You better not be thinking about throwing my computer”, Indra shoots daggers at her daughter. Lexa mumbles a ‘yes mother’

_I can’t throw it but break-_

“So much as break one key on that damn computer and I swe-”

“Yes mother”, Lexa growls out.

Anya walks into the living room. She looks at Lexa who has been on the couch for the whole day it seems. “Are you still on that?”

“Not anymore”

“Doesn’t seem that way”

“What do you want, Anya?”, she glares at her sister. “Talk or fuck off”

Anya bristles. “You can talk to Luna like that but not me”, she growls. She looks Lexa in the eyes until the Alpha lowers her eyes. Anya takes her time responding. She eyes the many framed pictures on the walls. Everywhere in the house, there’s some memory. Most include the whole family while some are lone pictures of Indra’s children/grandchildren.

The longest living room wall, opposite the TV, has lone pictures of each child. Seeing as there are only three children it doesn’t take up much room. Anya’s picture used to be of her on graduation day but Lexa never got to see that day so the picture was changed. Now it’s a young picture of her holding up grease-covered hands as she smiled at the camera. She was missing one of her big teeth. She still had that childlike innocence.

Luna’s picture was of her in a life jacket on Titus’ boat. She used to love going fishing with him, they do rarely now. Luna hates the picture but Indra loves it.

Then Lexa’s. It was the first picture they got of Lexa having fun when she came to live with them. She stands on a beach in a swimsuit that now sits in a dusty bin. She’s hugging their childhood dog, Brody. Her hair is covered in sand and her smile is so big that her eyes are screwed shut.

“How cute”, Anya whispers to herself. Lexa grumbles a response but stays silent.

Due to the odd number of pictures, there’s a picture of Luna’s kids on her side. They are sitting under a tree playing. In the center of everything is a big family photo. This photo lacks Lexa as it was before she came and they failed to get a proper family photo.

“Say, Lexa, when are you leaving for your date?”

“Huh?”

“With Costia”

“What?”

“She called . . . said ‘don’t be late’”

“What? When?”

“I don’t know”, Anya shrugs. “A while back. Shay answered and said you would be there”

Lexa stares at Anya before growling. She shakes her head wishing they would tell her when someone called for her. She also wishes Shay would learn to say no. “I can’t go. She’ll understand”

“Will she?”

Lexa has no time to respond as the doorbell rings. She’s happy to get away from Anya and constant questions about her life. She practically runs out of the living room and to the front door. “Hi”, she says upon opening the door. She puts on a fake welcoming smile but it falters when she sees Abby.

“Hi”, the Alpha smiles. “You must be Lexa”

“That I am”

Abby nods. She eyes the Alpha before continuing. “Is Indra here? I’m a friend of hers”

“Oh, um . . . come in. I’ll go get her. She’s just out back with the pups”

“I knew she had grandchildren”, Abby smiles. “Do you mind if I go out back?”

“Oh, no. Help yourself” Lexa watches her walk away before letting out a sigh. She stares at the floor for a second before following her out back to distract the pups. Shay is the first to hug her when she steps outback. The pup has always taken a liking to Lexa.

She’s playing with Shay when Abby says something that gets her attention. She hates to be nosey and was taught at a young age not to eavesdrop.

“Yeah, I hated leaving this place. My pup was born here. She loves this place but we had to do what was best for Jake

Indra nods. Her eyes hold a sadness Lexa is all too familiar with. She used to get the same look when she first came to the house. “I'm so sorry for your loss. When did he die?”

Lexa falters. _Jake? Dead?_

“When Clarke was 15, three years after we moved and settled in. She was devastated to lose her dad. Sure, she had me but he was the Omega. More in tune with her emotions. We uh . . . our relationship fell after that”

Lexa looks at the ball in her hand. _So she lost a parent too?_

“Aunty Alex! Pass the ball!”

Sighing, she kicks the ball lightly over to Shay.

Clarke had called her mom several times over the last hour. They had agreed on a spot hours ago. She said she would be there yet here she was sitting alone. Has been for the last hour.

With a heavy sigh, she checks the time on her phone. _9:30._ Getting the waiter's attention she asks ‘could I get another whiskey’. The woman nods and walks off. When she walks off a sad-looking redhead walks into the restaurant. She’s looking around before sighing, the disappointment obvious.

Clarke watches as she walks over to the counter and takes a seat. Despite knowing she should stay still and wait, Clarke stands up and walks over to the counter. Taking a seat by the Omega she looks at her. “Rough day?”

The Omega blinks at her before nodding. “You?”

“Stood up”

“Same”

“Alpha”, Clarke shakes her head. She smiles when the waiter hands her a drink. “Can’t live without them but oh boy are they pains” Clarke takes a sip from her drink.

The woman nods. She looks at Clarke. “I was going to patch things up with mine . . . guess she didn’t have the same plans. What’s your story?”

“Oh, I’m not dating mine”, Clarke cringes at that. “It’s my mom. We have a rough relationship. I wanted to have dinner while she was in the city but as you can see . . .”

“That didn’t happen”

They both nod. “Clarke”, Clarke extends her hand.

“Costia”

“Well Costia”, Clarke takes another sip before sliding the cup over to the Omega. “Hears to Alphas”

“To Alphas”, Costia repeats before downing the whole drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is really short. I couldn’t fit it in this story but not the next one either so . . . yeah


	13. Short Chapter (She Actually Said Yes)

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Lexa is surprisingly and for the first time, looking forward to the drunk party that she calls friends. She’s been wanting to see them since she started searching for Clarke on google. So far everything was going to plan. Everyone, but Raven, had shown up and were doing their own thing. Nothing out of the normal.

Much to Lexa’s disappointment Clarke hasn’t shown so she’s a little sad about that. She still holds onto hope that Clarke will show. That hope is dwindling with each passing minute. Seeming to sense that Anya pats her cheeks and with a smile says ‘cheer up’.

An hour later Raven walks into the bar looking normal. She wears her black boots, pants with rips on them, a white tank top, and a jacket. Her hair is in a high ponytail, Raven’s signature hairstyle. The only thing that puts Lexa on edge is the fact she doesn’t look like she’s at the bar to party.

“Anya”, she approaches the Alpha.

The Alpha immediately tenses. She calms her beating heart and looks at the Beta. “Raven”

“I need a favor”

“That doesn’t surprise me”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing”, Anya shakes her head. “What can I do for you?”

“Do you guys have boxes? Small, medium, big. I just need boxes. Lots and lots of boxes”

“Yeah, what’re you building?”

“I can’t build shit with cardboard”

Lexa doesn't have to be asked to know to get the boxes. She walks through the kitchen and out the back door. Turning to retrieve the boxes from the pile they are in she shrieks. “Octavia! Lincoln! Exhibitionism isn’t allowed on this property”

Lincoln growls, his face on Octavia’s chest. The Omega still wears her clothes so does Lincoln. It seems she was reaching to pull his length out. “What do you want, Woods?”

“I want these damn boxes that you are stepping on”, she growls. The smell of their upcoming sex has her on the edge.

They move away from the boxes.

Taking them Lexa leaves. When she walks in she hears the last part of Raven’s conversation.

“... so she’ll be moving in”

 _Moving in?_ Lexa passes over the boxes. “Who? Clarke?”

Raven nods.

“She actually said yes”

Another nod. “Said she would be spending time packing and such. Doesn’t need our help but may need it when she moves in”

“Probably needs our help packing but doesn’t want us around for the whole Alpha thing”

Raven nods. “That too”, she takes the boxes. “I’ll see you guys later”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is also a short chapter based on my notes and such


	14. Unsaid Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically this isn't about Costia, not anymore. I don't know what is it . . .  
> This is a rewritten chapter. I tried to add some events between the time skip but not much happened. Sure, things were (are) mentioned but they weren’t worth writing about. That’s why I time skipped the first time but . . . yeah. So sorry if this seems short and unnecessary

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Raven left the bar with a skip in her step. She wasn’t positive as to why she was so happy considering she was walking to some apartment only to leave. Maybe it was the fact she wouldn’t be alone anymore. _“Not anymore”,_ his words came to her mind, making her falter in her steps. Instead of reacting with tears and anger at remembering her friend, she smiles. She’s confused by this but doesn’t mind. That and she prefers not to think about it. Though she does whisper something she didn’t think she’d say in years.

“I’m ok Clair, I’m ok”

“Raven!”

She turns at the mention of her name. Much to her surprise, Lexa stands a few feet behind her. She looks panicked and unsure but determined. “Hey”, Raven smiles at her.

“You’re going to Clarke’s, right?”

A small nod.

“I . . . I was hoping to see her . . .”, she waits for Raven to catch on but the Beta gives her a blank look. “So . . .”

“I should go”, Raven takes a teasing step forward.

“No, no, anything but that”

“What do you want, Lexa?”

“Can I take the boxes to Clarke’s?”, she blurts this out, her eyes dropping to the sidewalk. “I understand if you say no-”

Raven holds the boxes out. She huffs when Lexa doesn’t move. “Take them. I’ll tell you where she lives and what floor”

After getting directions to Clarke’s apartment, Lexa headed off. She’s been walking for a few minutes as she repeatedly tells herself the address and floor of Clarke’s apartment. She vaguely remembers Raven’s word. In her defense she was so focused on the fact her ‘persuasion’ worked that she had turned Raven out. Raven had snapped her out of her thoughts only to sigh with a knowing smirk.

Lexa’s relieved that the blonde doesn’t live too far from the bar.

She comes to a stop in front of the building and eyes it. It’s a nice looking place. It seemed to be six or seven stories. She was told Clarke resided on the third level with her roommate. _What was her name? Was I told?_

Walking into the apartment she smiled at the small lobby. It seemed to be used to pick up mail or whatever. A woman that Lexa doesn’t know sits behind a wooden topped counter. She looks bored as she scrolls through her phone. When she looks at Lexa a smile pulls at her lips.

“Welcome”, she sits up and smooths down her hair.

Lexa raises an eyebrow in amusement before smiling back. “Hi”

“You visiting?”

“Um . . . yeah”, she thinks over her next words. “I had to drop something to someone I know”

“A friend?”

 _Give up,_ she almost growls at the Omega. “You can say that”

“Ah”, the woman seems to think Lexa is visiting a girlfriend. “I assume you know where she lives”, she slumps back into the chair with a bored expression.

Lexa gives one last smile before heading towards the stairs. There’s not much to look at as she walks up the steps. The walls are grey with peeling wallpaper. There are some pictures here and there but nothing worth a double-take. She smiles when she’s finally on the third door. Lexa’s surprised at how fast she got up to the third floor until she realizes she was skipping one or two steps with each step. “Huh”

There are three doors. Two on either side of her and one in front. Raven had said ‘the black door’ would be Clarke’s. It stuck out like a sore thumb since the other doors were white. She’s sure there’s some time behind as to why her’s is the only back door Lexa has come across in the apartment. _Another time._

A familiar voice can be heard coming from the apartment. “Can we save the argument for another time Niylah?”

 _Oh shit._ “Hey, u-”

“No, Clarke, you said that two days ago and we still haven’t talked about it”

“Ni-”

Clarke chose this time to knock on the door. “Hey Clarke, it’s Lexa” There was a minute of silence before Clarke opened the door. Shock flashed in her eyes before they glazed over. The blonde casually leaned against the doorframe, one ankle over the other as she eyes Lexa. Lexa politely stood in front of her with the folded boxes in her arms. She almost jumped when Clarke addressed Niylah, her eyes still on Lexa.

“Shouldn’t you be leaving”

Niylah only grunted as she walked out of the apartment. She looked like she was going to murder someone but not Lexa. Her eyes met Lexa’s for a second as she walked by.

Clarke gave Lexa one last look before stepping away from the door and into the apartment with no response or greeting. She goes over to the couch and lies down. “Welcome”

Lexa nervously steps into the apartment and shuts the door behind her. “You ok?”

Clarke gives her a look that says ‘seriously’. She doesn’t have to say anything for Lexa to know she doesn’t want to talk about it”

“Cute place”

“I guess”

 _Ok . . ._ “you decorate it?”

“Nah, I never added a personal touch to this place. Not even in my room” Clarke lazily waves a hand towards a white door.

“I see”

Minutes passed by before Clarke said anything. “You don’t have to stay”

“Do you want me to leave?”

Clarke looks at Lexa. She stares into the green eyes. “Do you want to stay?”

“Should I stay?”

“Lexa-”

The song ‘Count On Me’ starts playing. Lexa groans and fishes her phone out of her pockets. “Sorry, Anya”, she turns away from Clarke. “What’s up?”

“Where the hell did you go?”

“I’m visiting-”

“Lexa, you’re still on shift. Get your ass over here”

There was beeping on the other line. Lexa sighs and looks at Clarke. “I should go”

Clarke nods. “Yeah”

“I’ll see you in the future, Klark”

Another nod. She watches Lexa open the door. “Hey, Lexa”

“Yes?” Lexa couldn’t help the tingle of hope in her stomach.

“Thanks for the boxes”

“Oh” hope crushed. “No problem”

The door clicked close leaving both females in the silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just made up Clarke’s apartment as I went. Not sure I contradicted past words but didn’t want to scroll through chapters just to find nothing.  
> Also, this is what happened after Raven left the bar. As I said not much happened between Raven picking up boxes and Clarke packing. I wasn’t going to include a scene but this came to mind.  
> It's just a chapter, not gonna lie. Also just winged it with this chapter.  
> Also, a little look into Raven's past. I'm still trying to figure it out but I'll reveal more and more if the plot allows it. If not then I'll probably sneak a chapter about Raven in. No one's past is as complicated as I make it out to be . . . maybe Lexa's.


	15. Help Me Pack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold is in the past

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Clarke looks at the white apartment door like someone may walk through at any minute despite her knowing no one will. She still hopes someone will walk through and keep her company. Prevent her from spending another night alone as Niylah does god knows what. She’s never craved companionship whenever her roommate disappears. She blames the person on the other side of the door for that.  _ Those stupid green eyes hold the secrets of a lifetime. _

She’s aware Lexa won’t walk through the door without her permission, which she won’t give, so she looks away to silence her urge to open the door. Doing this has the opposite effect on her.

_ Move, _ she almost screams at herself,  _ open the damn door! _ “No,” Clarke says as she gets up from the couch. “Step away, Clarke” She did the exact opposite. With caution and a shaking hand, she opens the door and looks out.

It’s been five minutes since Lexa had stepped out of the apartment. If she were anywhere else she would walk down those stairs and return home or to the bar but she’s not anywhere else. She’s in front of Clarke’s apartment. She’s not sure why she doesn’t start walking and not look back. Something is telling her to stay and wait so that’s what she does.

When she hears the door open she turns and looks into blue fearful eyes. Clarke stands with wide eyes as though she was a door caught in headlights. “Lexa”, she croaks out.

“Klark”

“You . . . you wanna help me pack?”

  
Niylah was never sure where she ventured off to after fighting with her roommate. She tended to walk until she got tired then she would go to the closest bar, get high and wake up with some Omega the next morning. She’s aware it’s a bad habit but it’s not like it’s her fault. _It’s not_ , she nods to herself. She blames Clarke for having her in some relationship that isn’t official or anything important to her despite knowing how Niylah feels about her. At least Niylah thinks she knows. She’s told the blonde numerous times. She can name her favorite confession, her first confession.

The first time was on Clarke’s graduation day.

**There had been gray clouds in the sky throughout the day leading many to believe their graduation would be a raining mess but as everyone stood with their caps in their hands the sun was beating down on them. They were grateful for this as everyone hated the rain and got it rarely in their region of Florida or what was Florida. Everyone but Clarke hated the rain, she loved the rain so secretly Niylah was hoping for rain just to see the smile on the blonde’s face.**

**She had tuned out their principal as he gave the last speech before they would all toss their caps and celebrate. Her eyes were looking at the blonde head two rows ahead. She didn’t have to see her friend’s face to know she wasn’t happy about the hot weather. As if sensing it Clarke looked over her shoulder and at Niylah. Niylah was left breathless at how the blonde looked today. Every day she was stunning but today she stood out.**

**Clarke smiled at her before looking away.**

**“ . . . with that I say congrats to everyone for graduating”**

**Caps went into the air, laughter was shared, and pictures were taken. During this Niylah had sat back and kept to herself. She had no one she could take pictures with or laugh with, not right now anyway. Her dad was off traveling the world and her mom was nowhere to be seen. She would’ve gone over to Clarke but everyone was congratulating her. That was one of the many ‘punishments’ Niylah got for being friends with the popular Omega.**

**As soon Clarke had come to school roughly five years ago she was loved by all. She had Alphas wanting to mate her, Omegas wanting to be her, Betas wanting to be her friend. Only Niylah got close enough to be considered a friend and everyone was jealous of that. Even Ontari, the head Alpha bitch of their grade.**

**It was 20 minutes later when Niylah was able to sneak up on Clarke and cover her eyes. She’s done this since they became friends years ago. “Guess who?”, she asked with amusement. Like usual Clarke would pretend to think about this before laughing and saying ‘Niylah’. “How’d you know?”**

**“I know your voice”, she stepped away from Niylah and faced her. Her blue eyes went from her face to the camp on her head. “You did it”**

**“WE did it”**

**“Yeah, but you did, Niylah. You graduated”**

**Throughout school, there had been many times Niylah had considered dropping out and doing her things. Her grades were rocky and she had numerous tutors who couldn’t help her. That was until Clarke showed up and tutored her with patience instead of anger. She owed everything to the blonde. “Yeah, I did” She smiles at Clarke before continuing, “what do you say we get out of here? I know you hate crowds and celebrations”**

**Clarke agreed to this rather fast which made Niylah laugh. As they were walking out Clarke had been staring at Niylah with a masked look. It always surprised her how the Alpha knew the little things about her that she, honestly, forgot about.**

**The two snuck out of the graduation without too many noticing. They had silently agreed to go to Clarke’s for the remainder of the day as Niylah’s wasn't a fun place to be. Not for Niylah at least. At first, they planned to stay in Clarke’s room but it didn't’ surprise them when they found themselves on the treehouse floor looking up at the darkening sky. The treehouse was Clarke’s favorite thing about her house. Her father had built it for a year before he died. At first, she said ‘I’m too old for that’ but now she says ‘you’re never too old for a treehouse’.**

**Their conversation had no direction or purpose. They started by talking about the greasy pizza they loved to order from Arking-Awesome-Pizza. When they had filled up on the pizza they started making fun of Ontari which always made Clarke laugh. With nothing left to talk about the bitch of an Alpha Ontari, they talked about whatever came to mind. It was perfect to Niylah and she wouldn’t have changed a thing.**

**“Niylah”, Clarke had said. Her eyes were focused on the stars as she imagined the creatures they made in the night sky. “What do you see yourself doing in ten years?”**

**Niylah never thought of the future. She never had a plan or direction for her life. “I don’t know . . . maybe have a mate who loves me”**

**Clarke nods. “Do you think you’ve already met your mate?” She looks at Niylah. “Some say you’ve already met your mate by the age of 15”**

**She shrugs. “I think I have”**

**“Do you know them?”**

**“Yeah, we talk. She’s awesome”**

**Clarke’s silent for a while before looking away. “Why didn’t you spend graduation with her?”**

**“Clarke, I’m where I want to be”**

Thinking back on it, Niylah thinks she wasn’t clear enough. Maybe her confession didn’t register in Clarke’s brain as everything continued like normal. It crushed Niylah but she was fine having a friend-only relationship with Clarke. Of course, they don't have that now. She’s not sure what they have.

Finally out of her thoughts Niylah checks the time. It’s been three hours since she left the apartment. She’s thinking she should go back home instead of drinking all night but she knows Clarke isn’t expecting her to be home. She knows Niylah usually ends up sleeping with someone before coming back home.  _ Not this time, I have to make things right. _ She just hopes they don’t end up fighting again.

Thirty minutes later Niylah shows up at the apartment. She was thinking she would buy something for Clarke but didn’t in the end as most stores were closed.  _ Maybe an apology is enough. _ It was false hope but hope nonetheless.

Taking a deep breath she opens the door and steps in. Instead of Clarke watching Twilight on the couch or hiding away in her room, she sits on the floor laughing with Lexa. Lexa holds a photo out of the blonde’s reach while Clarke struggles to get near it.

“Lexa”, she whines. “C’mon, it’s not that funny”

“Oh, but it is”

Even with the teasing Clarke looked like she was having fun. Niylah thought she hated teasing as she felt they were making fun of her. She’s teased Clarke before only to get the cold shoulder or a ‘fuck off’. Those reactions came long before their recent ‘fall out’. She watches the scene for a second longer before coughing. Both females look at her like kids caught with their hands in a jar. “You’re up late”

“Not that late” It was a pathetic attempt to defend herself but she knew Niylah would see through it. “We were doing some packing. Just getting a start on things so it’s done by next week”

“I see”, Niylah looks at Lexa who is looking at the photo. “You stayed?”

The Alpha falters before looking at Niylah. “Uh, yeah . . . thought I would help with the heavy stuff”

“How nice”, she mumbles. “I thought you had work”

“Did”, she glances at Clarke who gives her a look. “I took it off”, she quickly says.

“To help me pack?”

“No, I took it off to deliver the boxes”

“L-”

Lexa cuts her off, “it’s fine. Anya’s fine with it”

Clarke knew Lexa was trying to prevent her from feeling bad. She knows Anya isn't’ fine with it and she didn’t take a day off but ditched. She glances at Niylah who has an unreadable look. “Alright, say I believe your lies but still want to make it up to you”

“That’s not necessary, Clarke”, she stands and puts her shoes back on. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Can’t, I’ll be packing”

Lexa bites her bottom lip not exactly ok with that answer. “Ok, two days”, she smiles at Clarke. “See you then”

The tone of Lexa’s voice let Clarke know she didn’t have a say in the manner, not that she was complaining or anything. “Yeah, see you then Lexa” She watches the Alpha leave the apartment. She had put the framed photo on the counter before leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter. I felt I should put something out as I’m still working on the Costia chapter and coming up with scenes in between the week and such. Also, I too am trying to figure out what their relationship is (Clarke and Niylah) but I'm not putting too much thought into it as it'll end (it's destined to) so . . .


	16. Two Days

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

For anyone in the busy city of Polis two days seemed like nothing. To most, it seemed short if you were trying to meet a deadline, to children it seemed short if you were on your weekend break from school but for Lexa and Clarke, it seemed like forever. They didn’t think of it as two simple days. They thought of it like 48 hours, 2880 minutes, 172800 seconds, and way too big of a number to consider milliseconds. To them, it was a silent promise both were willing to hold up.

The first day Clarke had packed the small stuff. To her surprise, Niylah helped her do this. The Alpha wasn’t openly talking to her or even smiling but she said ‘I’m not that mean’ as she was setting a box by the door. It was nice not to fight all the time. They stopped packing when lunch rolled around. For the first time in a while, they had gone out for lunch and ate at Niylah’s flower shop. Clarke took her usual spot on the counter while Niylah stood to her left. They sat in comfortable silence.

Clarke left the shop alone as Niylah figured she would get some quick work done as Mark had come in a day sooner than planned. He was overjoyed to see Clarke and had given her some fudge that his mom made. Clarke thought it was a cute gift but she felt bad as she hated fudge. With nothing to do after that, she went on a walk around the small park. It was more of a nature park than a children’s park. That didn't’ stop children from making games in the park and finding things to climb on. She didn't find much peace in the park when a child ran into her making both of them stumble on their feet and Clarke dropped the fudge.

As she lied in bed the next morning she thought yesterday was horrible and she had bad luck as on her way back it started raining and she didn’t have an umbrella, a car had splashed a puddle on her leaving her to walk in the rain looking like a wet mutt, then she got locked out of her apartment and waited until 2 in the morning for Niylah to come home. As usual, she cleaned up her friend and helped her lie down in bed. She left a bucket on the floor knowing the Alpha would have a bad hangover when she woke up.

Her bitter mood was quick to disappear as she realized what day it was.

Lexa handled her first day better than Clarke. She spent the whole day with her nieces and nephews. They were ecstatic as they got to spend time with Aunty Alex. The cool aunt as they say she is. She loves the title as it makes Anya pout and grumbles something about it being rigged.

She had let them help her make breakfast which turned out to be a mess as the two youngest, Shay and Gustus, had to take a bath afterward. She then played ball with them and some board games. Gustus was learning chess which Lexa didn’t understand but he was more than happy to teach her. In the end, she lost to a five-year-old. That didn’t matter as they all went out to the park after lunch. Lexa told them it was the park when in reality it was a nature park.

She gave Luna a scare when she lost Willa and Ilian.

**“I’m telling you, Willa, this is going to be awesome”**

**“We shouldn’t take from strangers”**

**“We aren’t taking”**

**Both twins cautiously looked around a tree at the upcoming blonde. She was walking with her head down as she held onto a box of fudge.**

**“Doesn’t that look delicious?”**

**Willa gives no response as she licks her lips. She walks out from behind the tree and runs past the blonde. “Catch me Ilian!”**

**Ilian, on cue, runs out from behind his tree and into the blonde. They both collide with an ‘oof’. Next, they’re falling and the fudge is flying through the air.**

**“Ilian!”, Willa fakes scared as she turns. With Ilian pretending like he’s going to cry, leading the blonde to attempt to calm him down, Willa grabs fudge pieces in her hands. She turns and starts walking off. “He’s fine, Mrs, c’mon Ilian”**

Everything was fine in the end as Lexa found the twins eating fudge under the tree. She still isn’t sure where they got fudge from but Luna assumed they got it from a stranger. She freaked out and made everyone go home.

From there they sat around a fire in the backyard and talked. To Lexa, the day was perfect but she knew tomorrow would be beyond perfect.

She was wrong.


	17. A Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't sure about this chapter but owed an update so . . .

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Much to Clarke’s annoyance she wakes from her afternoon nap to the sound of laughing and items falling. Upon hearing the laughing Clarke knows who it is. It seems every morning after getting drunk she’ll watch the dumbest channels and laugh at their stupidity. It annoys Clarke beyond belief but today she was feeling especially annoyed.

“Niylah”, she growls. “It’s too early!”

There’s silence for ten seconds before Niylah starts laughing again. “This is great”

 _This is my thanks,_ she rolls out of bed. _I clean her up, wipe off puke and get her comfortable,_ stumbling out of the room she wobbles to the bathroom. _Kind enough to put a bucket out for her and a glass of water,_ Clarke flips on the light and faces Niylah. “And this is my thanks!”

“Huh?” Niylah is just now registering that she's not alone in the apartment. She woke up thinking Clarke was out with friends. She turns and looks at a fuming Clarke. “Oh, hi Clarke”

Her response came in the form of a door slamming and cursing moments later.

“Moody”

**********

Niylah had spent ten minutes staring at the door Clarke had slammed shut. She knew she must’ve done something to anger her Omega and knew she was walking on thin ice. So when she hears the bathroom door open, she freezes. Her hands tighten their grip on the cup in her hand.

Clarke says nothing as she walks away from the bathroom and to the kitchen. “We got coffee?”, she asks, Niylah noting she sounds chipper than before.

“Um . . .”, she glances at the last of the coffee in her cup, “do you want me to buy some?”

“So that’s a no?”

“That’s a no”

Clarke nods. “It’s fine, you want something for lunch . . . well, lunch after lunch?”

“Cla-”

“I’m making eggs”, she cuts her off. “You want?”

“Alright”, Niylah turns so she can look at Clarke. “What the fuck happened? You’re way too happy considering how you woke up” She sniffs in Clarke’s direction. “Your heat isn’t coming up is it?”

Clarke shakes her head. “Shouldn’t be but it’s not that”, she smiles, her anger towards the Alpha long forgotten. “It’s nothing. I just . . . I’m meeting up with some friends later today”

“Ah”, Niylah nods. She eyes Clarke. Her heart does weird things when she sees the light blush on Clarke’s cheeks. “Where?”

“A bar”

“A bar I know?”

“You know every bar in this city”

Niylah laughs. “True but that’s not what I’m asking and you know it”

“Do you want eggs or not?”

  
  


“Lexa! We have to go!”

“Give me a second”

Anya huffs in annoyance. She knew she would get that response. “You said that ten minutes ago!”

“Well give me another ten minutes!”

“Nuh-uh! I have a bar to open!”

This time Lexa huffs in annoyance. She opens her bedroom door. “Then leave without me! I’ll catch up”

Anya taps her feet as she thinks. She has to open the bar in 30 minutes, it’ll take 20 to get to the bar. In truth, the bar should’ve opened hours ago but she slept in and couldn’t have Lincoln do it for her. “Fine, don’t be an hour late or so help me-”

“Go!” When the front door opens then slams shut, Lexa relaxes. She closes her bedroom door and walks her naked ass over to the mirror on her door. “Alright, Lexa, you got this” She holds up one outfit that she’s labeled outfit A than another labeled outfit B. “Which one?”

Outfit A isn’t her style. If she thinks about it she feels Clarke would wear something like it. The outfit is blue ripped shorts, a white tank that she would tuck into the shorts and sandals to finish the outfit. “That’s a nope”

Outfit B is more her style but she wears it all the time. Black ripped jeans, converse, a white shirt, and her leather jacket. “Also a no”

One hour and thirty minutes later she decides. She discards both outfits A and B to make up outfit C. Her black ripped jeans, knee-high boots, a black shirt, a belt, and her leather jacket. She was in a rush and was tired of thinking over outfits.

“I’m heading out!”, she shouts as she grabs her helmet.

Luna who sits with Tris on the couch looks at her younger sister. “You’re late”

“Always am”, Lexa snarls at her sister, immediately on the defense. “You know me”

She nods, eyes going over Lexa. _Interesting outfit._ “Drive safe, don’t speed”

“Yeah, whatever”

“Love you”

The door slams shut.

*********

“You’re late”

Lexa stops by the bar door, her body is frozen as she felt she couldn’t move. She stares at an angry Anya who is crossing her arms as she looks at her younger sister. “Hey, An-”

Anya holds up her hand stopping Lexa. “I don’t need excuses”, she holds out a mop and bucket. “Buddy just threw up”

This is when Lexa’s fun had ended.

This is when she started hating the day.

This is when she wishes to go back to yesterday as she scrubs at a puke stain on the carpet in the bar. Anya was doing this task but when Lexa had walked in she handed the task over to her. For the last five minutes, her friends were laughing at her as she gagged now and then.

“I’m gonna throw up”, she would say while looking at the ceiling. “Oh god,” Lexa never did well with puke or any bodily fluid. She’s surprised she’s managed to change Shay’s diaper without passing out. Anya would always tell her ‘don’t become a mom’ and Lexa would respond with ‘wouldn’t dream of it’.

“Fucking Anya”, she grumbles under her breath failing to hear the bar door close shut. “Scrub the puke, Lexa”, she does her best Anya voice, not noticing a certain blonde stopping a few feet away. “Clean the dishes, Lexa. Take care of the dishes!”, she angrily slaps down a wet rag. “I’m going to quit, blondie!”, she shouts over her shoulder at Anya who looks amused.

Anya frowns and pulls a pencil seemingly out of nowhere. “I’m not blonde!”

The pencil hits Lexa on the head making her friends laugh at her. “You’re lucky I want to see Clarke tonight or I would leave”

“Well now I feel bad”

Lexa froze upon hearing that voice. She closes her eyes praying it isn’t Clarke before looking up. Her cheeks redden as she looks into blue eyes. “Clarke”

Clarke gets on her knees in front of Lexa. She can see the pink on Lexa’s cheeks. “On behalf of making you clean a puke stain, I apologize”

Lexa shakes her head. “No, no you’re- I- see you- yest- I’m going to stop talking”

Clarke laughs, making Lexa blush even more. “Here”, she offers her hand when she stands up.

She takes Clarke’s hand, not bothering to remove it when Clarke makes no move to do so.

“C’mon”, Clarke tugs on her hand. “I want a drink and I happen to know one of the best bartenders around”

“Not the best”

Clarke smiles. She looks at Lexa over her shoulder. “Take the compliment”

**********

“Alright”, Lexa stands behind the bar, her eyes on Clarke. “What drink do you want?”

“Surprise me”

Lexa eyes Clarke. “I know you like whiskey but we’ll try something else, yeah?” Clarke nods.

“Sounds great”

Over at the round table, Raven nudges Anya. She motions to Clarke and Lexa. “How cute”, she whispers. Anya doesn’t respond. “Hey, Commander, could I get a drink?” Lexa’s answering glare only eggs her on. “I wo-”

“Keep talking and you get nothing”, Lexa looks her in the eyes. From the table, Anya laughs along with Raven.

“Leave them for their little date”, the Alpha whispers to the Beta.

Lexa flips her sister off before huffing in annoyance. “You let them get under your skin”, Clarke observes. Lexa shrugs to her comment. She turns with a Manhattan in her hand. “Anya’s always been that way”

“You two are close”

“Have to be, we’re sisters”

“Ah”, she takes a sip from her drink. “Oh my god, this is amazing”

“Really?”

“Hell yeah”

The night continued like most assumed it would. Lincoln and Octavia having sex in the bathroom, Monty hogging Harper, Anya denying she’s flirting with Raven, Raven laughing at Anya’s red cheeks, and Clarke and Lexa talking all night. Finn and Bellamy showed up late, they weren’t on the talkative side.

“Anya! Just fuck the Beta already!”, Jasper slurs over his words but gets them out nonetheless. “We all know you want to”

“Who is we?”, Raven asks.

“Why are we talking about me and not those two who are so close they could kiss?” Anya motions to the counter where Clarke and Lexa are. Lexa is leaning over the counter as she smiles at Clarke. It seems Clarke is telling some story that has Lexa intrigued. “Like, c’mon”

**********

It was getting closer to closing time and the bar was clearing out. Clarke wanted to continue talking to Lexa forever, talking to her just seemed natural. In a way, she’s never felt before. She knew she should get back to the apartment before Niylah freaks out if she’s even there.

She downs the remaining whiskey in her glass before standing up. “Lexa”

“Hmm?”

“I gotta go, thanks for talking with me”

Lexa glances at the clock before nodding. “It was nice seeing you, Klark”

“You too”, the blonde smiles at Lexa as she grabs her stuff.

“Hey, Klark?” Clarke looks at Lexa. “Are you free this weekend?”

“I don’t have anything planned but I’m assuming I’ll be packing so I won’t have any free time if I do that. Why?”

Lexa should’ve known Clarke would spend the weekend packing. “No reason, I was going to ask if I’d see you on Saturday-”

“Oh, I’m so-”

“It’s fine, I understand. Have a nice weekend, Clarke”

She nods before leaving the bar. Once she steps outside she doesn’t move. She looks at her phone repeatedly as her thoughts start jumbling up. She knows what she wants and she knows what Lexa wanted. It was obvious she wasn’t just hoping to see Clarke on Saturday. _So, someone has to say something._ “Is that someone me?”, she asks.

People glance at her before shrugging her off.

She wants to think it isn’t her but she knows it is. So stealing her nerves Clarke turns on her heels and opens the bar door. Lexa hasn’t moved from her spot. “Lexa”

“Hey Clarke, did you forget something?”

“No . . . I just . . . do you want to have lunch together on Tuesday?”

Lexa eyes the blonde before nodding. “I would love to”

**********

With Clarke now gone Lexa can start on her nightly routine, at least during work. She isn’t annoyed about it as she would usually be. As she walks around the counter, cleaning tables and collecting cups she has a smile on her face. She doesn't get annoyed at her friends who have passed the point of being drunk. Instead, she smiles at them with hidden amusement.

Jasper has passed out, Monty is falling asleep. Finn and Bellamy have fallen asleep across chairs and Lexa knows they’ll stay that way until tomorrow.

“Raven, time to go”, Anya nudges the Beta with a gentleness Lexa hadn’t seen in years. “C’mon, wake up” The Alpha froze as Raven groaned and hugged Anya. Raven moved closer until she was able to lay her head on Anya’s shoulder.

Lexa decides not to tease. “You got Raven?”

“Always”

Lexa hears that and smirks. ‘What was-”

“Don’t make me fire you”

She only shakes her head before cleaning up the bar.

“Lexa”, Anya pauses on her way out. “Be careful with Clarke. I see the way you look at her and I know you weren’t just hoping to see her Saturday” She waits for no response as she leaves the bar carrying a passed out Raven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little . . . eh. I struggled to get the idea together and then look at notes and future chapters to see if the idea could work well with the future chapters seeing as the last few chapters weren’t supposed to happen.


	18. Days Worth of Packing and Yelling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somewhat explains Clarke and Niylah’s strange relationship

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

The days leading to Tuesday went by fast for Clarke. Faster than when she was waiting for Thursday to roll around. It’s been a few days since she last saw Raven or the others. She isn’t surprised about this as she had told them she wouldn't be around for quite some time. She wishes she had time to say hi or something but that never happened. It helped when Raven could call a few times when bored or lonely. To Clarke, it seems Raven gets bored often and Clarke is her go-to. It took her five calls to realize that the Latina liked to make memories when she could.

“All packed?” Finn walks into the apartment with sweat dotted on his forehead.

“Huh?”, Clarke looks up at him.

“This box. Is it all packed? I can take it out?”

“Oh, uh”, she glances at the box, “I think so”

He nods and picks up the box. “Be back in a few”

WIth Finn gone Clarke continues to put her stuff into boxes. The whole pack and carry out the process is going relatively fast. She assumed it would be a slow process with her being the only person packing and Finn being the only person carrying out boxes. Sure, it could’ve been done hours ago if she had accepted the offered help from ‘the strangers’ but she had refused their help with the excuse of ‘there’s not much work’. They looked hurt when she denied their help so she knows she’ll have to make it up to them.

“Hey”, Niylah walks out of the bedroom. She had gone in there after their second argument. She said she needed to cool down and relax. It’s been ten minutes since then.

“Niylah-”

“Clarke, I don’t want to argue”, she sits on the couch and looks at the Omega. “I just . . . I want some answers”

“And I gave them. All you need to know is I’m moving and that’s that” Clarke can see Niylah disliking Clarke turning her down without a second thought.

The Alpha glares at Clarke but doesn't move to say a word. She knows if she were to say something Clarke would shrug her off with an ‘I’m sick of fighting with you’. So she nods her fake understanding and stands up. “I’ll pack Pauna’s stuff”

**********

“Just you and I, huh?” She pets Pauna who is purring but obviously on edge. The cat hasn’t been allowed to leave the house for the last few days. Sometime tomorrow Clarke would put her cat in the car and drive to Raven’s place and watch Pauna settle in. For now, though, the cat would have to deal with another night locked up in the apartment.

When Clarke’s phone goes off Pauna hisses in annoyance and runs off. “Aw, it’s ok, kitty”, she reassures the cat. Taking out her phone she looks at the text from her mom.

**Abby G: Wanted to say I got on the plane**

Clarke thinks over the text and whether she should respond. In the end, she silences her phone and leaves it on the counter.

“This the last box?” Finn asks as he walks into the apartment.

“Oh, you’re still here”

“Yes, yes I am”, he smiles at her before picking up the box. “Last one?”

She nods and watches Finn leave the apartment. She knows he won’t come back up. With that knowledge, she knows she’s truly alone now. Pauna won’t come out from under the table for quite some time. A part of her wishes Niylah had stayed but she left as soon as she had packed Pauna’s stuff.

Clarke looks around the apartment that no longer feels like home. She hadn’t put her personal touch on the apartment so it looks the same. Sure, a few things are missing as she bought them. Some things Niylah said she should take as it is her “going away gift”.

She looks towards the clock seeing it’s past lunch and knows she had stood Lexa up for lunch. She knows where she’ll find the brunette so she decides to go out.

With that excuse, Clarke had happily left the apartment to see ‘the strangers’. She had to walk as Niylah took the car and there was no way she was going to ask Finn for a ride. Hell would freeze over by the time she did that.

When she walks into the bar she hears a familiar voice shouting at someone. The person doesn’t sound mad, just annoyed and desperate. Clarke stops by the door to listen to him. “I’m telling you”, he says with a raised voice, “Clarke’s not free”

“Course not” Knowing Finn Clarke knows he’s shrugging to come off as casual.

“So she’s dating that one Alpha?”

All eyes go to Finn, all eyes but Lexa’s. “I uh . . . you could say that . . .”

Clarke lingers by the door for a second.  _ Alpha? _ She considers turning and leaving but knows they’ll all guess until she gives a proper answer. With that she walks over to everyone, her eyes finding Bellamy immediately. “Why?” She crosses her arms. “You want her?” She waits for a response but none comes. She can see Bellamy’s wide and nervous eyes as though he is in trouble. “Relax”, she chuckles at him. “Can I sit?”

Lexa shrugs and scoots over in the booth to give Clarke room. “Be my guest”, she mumbles.

Clarke can feel Lexa’s discomfort. “You ok?”

“Yeah”

She almost calls bullshit on that confirmation but decides against it. “Sorry I missed lunch. I got hung up in packing and didn’t have your number to tell you”

Lexa shrugs. “It’s fine, I had to babysit my nieces and nephews so it worked out”

“Cool”, Clarke nods. Leaning against the back of the booth Clarke crosses one leg over the other. There are several eyes on her telling her she’ll have to answer the big question on everyone’s mind. “I’m technically free”

No response.

“By free I mean to date, mate, mark, and all that good stuff that goes with the package”, she huffs.

No one misses the annoyance in her voice when she talks about the traditional wolf life stuff. Bellamy decides to speak up, “but you-”

“This conversation again”, Clarke grumbles. She doesn’t try to hide her annoyance now. “Just because I’m free doesn’t mean I don’t have my fun”

This time Anya speaks. “So you do sleep around”

“That's a question?”, Clarke looks at her. She eyes the Alpha before looking into her eyes.

“Depends”

“On?”

“Does it need to be a question”

Clarke looks at her for a second longer before looking away. She was playing a dangerous game looking an Alpha in the eye for so long. “No, I don’t sleep with anyone because they have a dick between their legs. Or don’t. I’m not picky”

“But I saw!”, Bellamy stares at her. “I saw you in that alley!”

“Alley?”, she tilts her head.

Lexa looks at the blonde and her cute head tilt. She lets a small smile pull at her lips.

“Yeah, that one alley. You went in there with someone. You kissed someone”

**A few days back, on Saturday, Niylah had wanted to take Clarke out to apologize. They spent the time at the park watching and feeding ducks. Clarke bought some art supplies and seemed to forgive Niylah. They were laughing and talking as they walked towards their apartment.**

**“Niylah”, Clarke said in a hushed tone.**

**“Yes?”**

**“Thank you for today”**

**Niylah smiled at Clarke. “Don't sweat it”**

**“I haven’t been nice recently-”** **  
** **“Clarke, it’s fine”**

**Clarke eyed her with suspicion before nodding. “Yeah, ok” She moved to open the door when Niylah grabbed her hand. “Niylah?” The Alpha was close to her, taking slow breaths as she breathed in her scent.**

**“Can I . . . can I kiss you?”**

Clarke blinks at him. “Oh, the alley. You’re talking about Niylah, my roommate. Or was roommate since I’m moving out”

He blinks at her.

“We’re both single, Bellamy. We’re adults and we have fun now and then, kill me if that’s a sin”, she rolls her eyes. “nothing happened in that alley and we’re just friends with uh . . .”

“Benefits?”, Raven asks.

“Yeah, benefits. Handle heats, ruts, needs. We’re not anything serious and we never will be. It's easier to have an Alpha who will willingly handle your heats”

This time Lexa asks the question. “Roommate?”

“Yeah, I’ve lived with her for the last three years”

“Is she just friends with benefits?”

Clarke shrugs. “Why-”, she sees the looks everyone gives her. It seems no secrets are held or none of Clarke’s secrets.

To be in this group she’ll have to reveal all.

“Does it matter?” She was hoping it was obvious she didn’t want to talk about it but seeing the look in Lexa’s eyes says she’ll have to explain. “I prefer not to talk about my sex life as do most people but if you must know we are nothing more than occasional nightstands. Nothing less, nothing more. We've known each other for years and she's one of the few Alphas my mom likes”

Raven watches their interaction with a look on her face. She’s sure Clarke would notice the way Lexa looks at her. It’s not obvious but it’s there. It seems Clarke refuses to look at her.

Lexa looks at Clarke as she thinks everything over.  _ Friends with benefits, friends for years, lived together. That’s just a married couple refusing to acknowledge the rings on their fingers. _

“Wait!”, Jasper points a finger at Clarke. “She was the ‘Clarke Griffin’ Alpha who you fought with a while back”

Clarke nods. She stares at the Beta. Looking into his eyes she can tell he has other words he’s going to say.  _ Please, don’t let it- _

“She’s the Alpha who said you were-”, more than one person puts a hand over Jasper’s mouth.

Clarke tenses. She drops her eyes to the table before looking at the Beta with masked anger and something else. “Yeah”, her voice cracks. “That Alpha”

“I’m sorry”, Jasper shrinks away. “About what happened to you”

“It wasn’t her”, Lexa looks at Clarke. When the blonde gives no response she growls out a ‘right?’

Clarke doesn’t respond. She looks away from everyone, an obvious sign she doesn’t want to talk about it. "It wasn't her, she would never", she feels she owes that explanation. She’s thankful when everyone tells Jasper to ‘shut it’ when he goes to ask a question.

“Here”, Raven slides some rum over. “On the house”

Anya nods. “My special treat”

Clarke eyes the drink before taking a sip. “Bleh!”, she pushes it away. “No thanks”

**********

The night continues rather smoothly. Clarke is silent for a majority of it besides the occasional grunt or ‘yeah’. She’s watching everyone play some card game when her phone goes off. “I gotta get this”

It’s been thirty minutes since Clarke left to answer the phone call. Lexa assumed the blonde wouldn’t come back. With a sigh, she scoots over to give Anya some room. She can’t help the feeling in her chest to do something. It was obvious Jasper’s ‘observation’ had freaked the blonde out.

“Clarke left”, Raven eyes the spot Clarke was.

“I think so”

“I should call, make sure she made it home”

Lexa shakes her head. “She probably wants to be alone”

Raven looks towards the bar entrance. “If that’s true then why is she outside?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m kinda just winging some chapters to get to a certain point where I can successfully make it fit into the story. Sorry if it seems rushed or something. I just need to get these chapters out or I’ll keep worrying about them and eventually not publish them and it’s an endless cycle.


	19. You Owe Me

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

The cold left behind by the setting sun bit at Clarke’s nose. She wished she had brought her apartment keys as she is now locked out of her apartment. She saw no reason to walk to the apartment only to sit in front of the door when no one would be home until lunch tomorrow. She could’ve gone back into the bar and chatted with everyone but something held her back from doing so. Doing that now would make things awkward so she settled for standing outside and figuring out what to do.

 _Surely Niylah will help,_ she dumbly assumed a while back.

**7:15 - Clarke: Hey so I locked myself out again. Think you could let me in if I were to go home?**

_What an idiot I am._ She sighs and slides down the wall. Hugging her legs she waits for a solution to come to her mind or come to her.

“If that’s true then why is she outside?”

Lexa looks over her shoulder and surely enough Clarke is by the entrance. She has her back to everyone as she seems to be waiting. “I don’t know” Lexa stands up. “I’ll go see why”

“Course”

Lexa ignores the mumbled comment and leaves the bar. Clarke fails to notice her so she stays silent. After a minute of silence, Lexa starts rocking back and forth on her feet as she hums a nursery rhyme. “Boy”, she finally says. “It’s cold”

Clarke doesn’t respond.

“I could go for some hot soup. You?”, Lexa nudges the blonde.

Sighing Clarke looks up. She has her mouth open to likely to tell the person off but when she sees who it is, she closes her mouth. “Lexa?”

“Oh, hey, I didn’t see you there”

“What are you doing out here?”

“Eh”, she shrugs and crouches down. “What _are_ you doing out here?”

Clarke was looking for some help but not in the form of Lexa. “Waiting?”

“That's a question or answer?”

Clarke’s silence is the only answer Lexa needs. “Here”, she offers her hand, “how about we get some dinner then I’ll take you home?” Lexa catches Clarke glancing into the bar. “Not in the bar, we’re not going back in”

“But-”

“Klark”, Lexa using some of her Alpha tone to make sure the Omega is listening. “You stood me up for lunch. DOn’t stand me up for dinner”

Clarke looks at the outstretched hand. “Alright, you better not kidnap me or something”

Lexa laughs and helps Clarke stand. “With your current attitude, I think that’ll be more of a punishment to me than you”

Clarke smiles and playfully shoves Lexa’s shoulder. “Hey!”

After suffering the teasing of her friend’s and the long speech from her sister, Lexa left the bar with her keys.

Clarke pushes away from the wall when Lexa walks out. She smiles at the Alpha. “Ready to go?”

“Been ready”

Clarke looks around. “WHere’s your car?”

“Car?”

“You know. A vehicle people use to get from one place to the other”

Lexa smiles and points ahead of them at her beauty, the love of her life. Her motorcycle. “There’s my vehicle” Lexa watches as Clarke seems to go through the five stages of grief despite not losing anyone important. She expresses each stage with an appropriate verbal response.

Denial

“Nuh-uh”, Clarke shakes her head. “That’s not your ride, you’re joking right?”

Lexa nods at Clarke. “This is my ride”

“No, no way. No way”

Anger

“There is no way in hell I am getting on that death trap!”

Lexa didn’t bother justifying Clarke with a response. She walks over to the bike and leans against it.

Bargaining

“I’m not getting on that. What if we get a taxi and I’ll pay for lunch”

Lexa shakes her head. “Why pay for a cab when we have a working vehicle?”

“Ok . . . what about not getting on the vehicle and we walk?”

“Clarke, get on the bike”

Depression

Clarke sniffles, wiping at her eyes. “This isn’t how I saw myself dying”

Lexa raises an eyebrow at that statement. “You think I’m a bad driver?”

The blonde shakes her head. “It’s fine, I lived a good life”, she sniffles again. “Let me text those I love”

Finally, acceptance

Lexa smiles as Clarke walks over to the motorcycle. “You’ll drive slowly?”, she asks. Lexa nods. “And won’t crash?” Another nod. “You got an extra helmet”

Lexa holds out her spare helmet. “C’mon, it’ll be fun”

“I’m not looking for fun. I’m looking for safe”

Huffing a laugh Lexa gets on and holds out her hand. “Trust me?”

“I suppose I have to right now”

Lexa gives her a smirk before putting her helmet on. “I suppose” When Clarke finally sits down Lexa tells her to wrap her arms around her waist. “Just hold onto me”

Clarke nods. “This is safe?”

“Klark, I would never intentionally hurt anyone. Especially you” She smiles when she feels arms wrap around her. “Ready?”

“I guess”

Clarke stumbles off the vehicle. “That”, she glares at Lexa, “wasn’t slow”

“It wasn’t?”, the brunette feigns innocence. She smiles at Clarke. The blonde ignores her and walks around Lexa, “where are we”. Lexa shrugs and leads Clarke into the restaurant. She walks to the woman behind the counter. “Table for two”

The woman eyes Clarke and Lexa before nodding. “Right this way”

Clarke is the first to sit down followed by Lexa. “This place looks expensive”, Clarke whispers hoping no one in the crowded dining area hears her.

Lexa nods. “That’s because it is'' Lexa sees Clarke’s curiosity turning into anger. “Before you get mad, know that we’re eating here for free”

“Lexa-”

“My sister owes me”

“So she’s paying?”

“No, she owns this place. Built it from the ground up. I don’t come here often but when I do she lets me eat free. Don’t know why”

Clarke eyes the place before nodding. “Do all your siblings run some business?”

Lexa chuckles and shakes her head. “No, just Anya and Tris. Luna is a stay at home mom”

“And your parents?”

“Indra got to retire early. She often stays home to watch the pups when Luna can’t. When she’s not home she’s helping at a self-defense class. She’s good at that”

“And your dad?”

“He can retire but chooses to fix beat up things at the local junkyard. He helps troubled kids by giving them something to do that isn’t drugs and such”

“They sound like great people”

Lexa nods. “They are”

A silence falls over them as the waiter approaches with menus. After ordering their drinks and food, Clarke said she’ll have what Lexa has, they start a new conversation.

“What about your family?”, Lexa takes a sip from her drink. She chose lemonade as she likes the sour taste.

“My family is nothing big or interesting”

“I’m sure there's something”

Clarke eyes Lexa. “Alright, let’s see. My mom is a surgeon. She wanted to head in that direction. I don’t know what she does in her off time. We don’t talk often and if we can talk, it ends in an argument”

“Don't get along?”

“No, not anymore. We never did, to be honest. She wanted an Alpha and was going to give me siblings but her Alpha ruts stopped and she soon couldn’t shift”, Clarke coughs when saying shift. She hopes Lexa gets the hint.

“Ah”, Lexa nods. She had heard of Alpha females not being able to call upon their ‘manhood’.

“She tried to convince my dad to find another Alpha to get him pregnant. She said she would care for the pups like it was her own. He refused her wish and said I was perfect. After that, I didn’t look at her the same and my dad was the glue that held us all together”

Not knowing what to say Lexa reaches over the table and puts her hand over Clarke’s. “I heard what happened to him” When Clarke doesn’t respond, Lexa continues. “I’m sorry. He sounded like a great guy”

Clarke smiles. “He was. The best”

Lexa can see Clarke retreating into her mind. “I . . . I had someone important die too” That catches Clarke’s attention. “He loved me even if he had a strange way of showing it. I loved him back though he was scary to look at especially to a timid two year old”, she smiles at the few memories she has with him.

“How’d he die?”

“Murder”

From there the conversation died off. It soon picked up when their food came. Turns out Clarke dislikes whatever Lexa ordered so she didn’t have anything to eat. Lexa was quick to order something else that Clarke absolutely loved. When she first tasted it she moaned from the flavor that coated her tongue. Unknown to her, her moaning caused some reaction between Lexa’s legs. The brunette hoped it would calm but had to excuse herself when Clarke moaned again. Of course, she didn’t handle her problem in the public bathroom. She settled for splashing cold water on her face and waiting five minutes before joining Clarke again.

When she got back they had a light conversation with plenty of teasing and gentle shoves. They ordered a slice of chocolate cake for Clarke. Clarke loved that even more than what she had for dinner.

“This is amazing!”, she exclaimed. She convinced Lexa to try the cake and Lexa had to agree with the Omega.

“It is”, she said and snuck another bite of the cake.

Clarke pretended to care but in reality, she didn’t.

With dinner done, they decided to walk as Clarke knew she would throw everything up if she got on that “death trap” (as she calls it).

“I can pick it up tomorrow or Tris’ll drive it home”, she had reassured the blonde when the Omega started feeling bad.

The walk was roughly twenty minutes. Both were sad to have to say goodbye but neither would admit it. Lexa was afraid she would scare the blonde away and Clarke felt like she was looking into muddy water to find a small pearl.

“Clarke”, Lexa said when Clarke opened her apartment door. Niylah had gotten home ten minutes earlier when she finally saw Clarke’s text.

Clarke curiously looked at Lexa. she wasn’t sure what she was hoping to hear.

“There's this party coming up and I don’t have someone to go with. Would you like to be my plus one?”

Seeing how nervous Lexa was, Clarke couldn’t help but tease. “Are you asking me out?”

The brunette stuttered over her words as she shook her head. “No, I- unless, it’s just-”

“Relax”, Clarke laughs. “I’m joking. I would love to be your plus one. When is this party?”

“Two days”

Clarke nods. “Alright. See you in two days?”

“I’ll be seeing you tomorrow” Lexa further explained, “to help you move”

“Right”, Clarke smiles. “See you tomorrow” With one last wave she steps into her apartment and closes the door.

Lexa stared at the door for a second before turning and making her way down the stairs. Usually, she would go home or return to the bar to close up. However, tonight she had one last stop to make. One last important stop.

Costia's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t think I’ve stated what Tris does and hope I didn't contradict anything.  
> I'm working on putting a timeline together so I can finally figure out when this takes place. I'm thinking at the end of this fic I'll publish it in case anyone got confused when certain events took place. I kinda lost track, not gonna lie


	20. Another Note

Another note. Yay -_-

Anyways, I finally figured out the ages of characters and assigned dates to certain events. Went through chapters and made a timeline so I could finally figure out when the frick this story took place. Turns out the last chapter took place, roughly took place (if my dates and math are correct), on Tuesday, October 4th. This means all 19/20 chapters took place over the course of 14 days. Not all 19/20, just from the point of Clarke meeting Raven/The Strangers.

Anywho, as I said, I'll probably end up putting a timeline up at the end of this fic for anyone who got confused and lost as the events went on. I'm hoping things will be more clear since I finally know the date of events and days.


	21. Costia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's back  
> I tried to avoid writing this chapter. It is what it is. I didn’t change that much. Technically bold takes place on the day Costia is stood up and Clarke is also stood up (is stood up the right word? That sounds sexual). The rest is explaining what happened and her thinking things over. Talking to Lexa takes place after the date that happened in the last chapter. Alley scene was obviously put in previous chapters.

****"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”** **

**Costia had been sitting on the bar stool for the last 15 minutes as she waited for the blonde Omega to return. A part of her wanted to believe the Omega was still her but a part of her was assuming the blonde got lucky and had gone home with someone.**

**In her waiting and worried state, she had drunk the remaining whiskey in Clarke’s glass and two other glasses she had ordered for herself. She also put her phone number in Clarke’s phone as the blonde had left it unlocked.**

**When 15 minutes turning into 20 she finally thought ‘fuck it’ and considered leaving. She was standing up when Clarke walked out of the bathroom. “I’m so sorry”, she had said once she was within earshot. Costia had looked her over with suspicion before quickly figuring out why she was gone for so long. She knew Clarke had thrown up everything in her stomach due to the whiskey.**

**“Can’t handle your drinks?”**

**The blonde glared at her. “I can!”**

**“Really?”**

**Clarke lets out an amused huff. “Not tonight I suppose” She sat by Costia. “I should have a friend showing up any minute to pick me up”**

**“Boy or girl?”**

**“Girl”**

**“Alpha?”**

**“Yes . . .”**

**“You seem like the type to know plenty of Alphas. Not that that’s bad. What’s she look like?”**

**“Why the questions?”**

**“So I know I’m sending you home with the right person. Now, what does she look like?” Her answer came when Clarke flipped her phone over and pointed at a picture. “I see”**

**The time had ticked by from there. She got to know the blonde and was happy to do so. Her fun had come to an end when Clarke’s Alpha friend showed up and took her home. The fun was soon to show up again in the form of an Alpha named Ryder.**

**She was thinking he would be a quick one night stand, someone she could use to release her stress from not getting sex from a certain Alpha. However, it didn’t turn out like that. She had stayed for tea and let him take her out to breakfast at some cafe. From there they kept meeting together.**

Ever since meeting Ryder, Costia had fallen into this strange routine. Visit the museum, check things out, meet up with Ryder, have dinner and go back to her place. The rest is history but guessable.

It was a peaceful routine which was something Costia had always wanted. She never got that with Lexa. The Alpha wasn’t busy perse but managed to keep herself busy. She worked at a bar yet had the schedule of a CEO of some major corporation. It confused Costia but not as much as it angered her.

Neither Costia nor Ryder stray from their routine. It was them in their little bubble doing whatever. So she thought anyways but somehow Alexandria fucking Woods had snuck in. She showed up rather late on a Tuesday night. She had this dopey smile and Costia knew she was happy. _That’s a new look,_ she thought with amusement. Costia wasn’t angry about Lexa bursting her little bubble. She was rather happy.

Over the last few days, or a week, she hasn’t seen Lexa, she has done some thinking over everything and recent events. She thought over the unsettling feeling in her stomach that said to keep her hopes down. She knows, deep down, Lexa isn’t here for her. After all the two haven’t talked since their little fight. “Little fight” would be an understatement and she knew that long before she explained to her rich friend, Echo, and Emori, a few days ago. 

In Costia’s defense, she was used to arguing with Lexa, it was their normal. It made up their foggy but clear relationship. _Sadly,_ Costia frowns at this realization.

This fight was different as they didn’t talk to one another for longer than usual. Usually, it was argued then fuck the next day. Plain and simple.

There was also the factor that they both knew this argument was different. Usually, after Costia stormed out dramatically, Lexa would try to fix things by buying her things or taking her out. In the past, the brunette has bought her a white pomeranian who Costia named Cloud, a very expensive purse, plenty of shoes, considered buying her a car but later decided against it only to buy her a car later.

Sometimes, rarely, Costia would reach out and try to fix things.

Neither of them did that.

Not this time.

No effort to do so on either side.

Costia likes to think, to give herself some answer to her questions, there was a part of her that silently agreed with Lexa. They’ve concluded that this was it. This was the end.

Of course, they agreed on this but that doesn’t mean Costia had to accept it. She was well aware of everything as she called Lexa days later demanding they meet up and talk. They agreed to meet up for dinner, or some small pup had agreed for Lexa, Costia didn’t care enough to find out. Calling was a dumb decision on her behalf as Lexa, surprise, surprise, didn’t show.

The dinner wasn’t a total bust as she had met some Omega named Clarke. She was quick to recognize the blonde from the photos on the phone that led to Lexa and Costia fighting. Being her, Costia had tried to bring up the Alpha and such but the blonde didn’t seem to click on who she was talking about. Despite all that, she had learned that Clarke is moving in with Raven.

_That went fast._

Her fun had ended when Clarke left with some Alpha. They exchanged numbers and have texted a few times since then. She’s concluded that Clarke is a nice Omega and would make a great companion. She needs more companions who aren’t rich or using her relationship to not focus on their own. _Echo,_ she thought with amusement.

Costia was alone for two hours when she met an Alpha named Ryder. Long story short, they went home together that night.

That brings her to now, nine days, not that she’s counting, after being stood up. She had been cuddling with Ryder when Lexa showed up at her apartment. The Alpha seemed in no rush and looked on cloud nine. To Costia it seemed Lexa wished to enter the apartment and talk but she could smell the Alpha on Costia. It made Costia smile when Lexa was confused or mad about another Alpha supposedly fucking her Omega. Of course, that’s what Costia thought.

In truth, Lexa wanted to leave as soon as possible to avoid any risk of Costia wanting to come back to her. She knew she was playing a dangerous game by visiting the Omega. She could smell the Alpha on Costia was glad she finally moved on. _Now I can focus on other things and not feel guilty,_ she thinks with a giddy smile. With that knowledge, Lexa casually leans against the doorway with her helmet tucked under her arm. She sports her leather jacket that she never leaves the house without. She also has a white shirt that shows her abs and stomach, black jeans, and boots.

When Costia had opened the door the brunette greeted her with a nonchalant ‘nice to see you again’. Costia hadn’t failed to notice her green eyes flicking over to the Alpha on the couch more than once.

Costia had nodded to her greeting. Neither of them has spoken since and the silence was getting to her. She often used silence to get what she wanted but it never worked with Lexa. The Alpha always got what she wanted. Always.

“I uh, you look nice”, Lexa finally says something. She leaks innocence though both she and Costia know she is anything but that. She wants something and she wants it soon.

 _You too._ “What do you want Lexa?” Costia wasn’t mad. She was more annoyed that her time had been interrupted . . . so she wanted Lexa to believe.

“Right”, she nods. “I have a friend who needs a job. I kinda hoped you could help with that”

 _Of course._ “Who is this friend?”

“You’ll meet her later if you show”

“Later?”

“Tomorrow”

Costia eyes the confident ALpha. She allows her anger to sink in as she realizes Lexa didn’t come for her. She came for someone else. “Show up where Alexandria?”

“Her apartment” Lexa further explains, “she’s moving”

There’s a minute of silence before Costia nods. “Fine”, she nods again. “Fine, whatever. That all?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Costia”

Costia closes the door a second later. She turns to Ryder and puts on a smile. “Shall we finish the show?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s as best as it’s gonna get. Anywho, in terms of who knows who in the city . . . I don’t know who knows who. I just decide they don’t know that person when the plot needs it.


	22. No Thank You

_Italics_ is a dream and **bold** is the past

WARNING: mention of cancer

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

“There’s your pancakes” Anya ruffles Gustus’ head as she sets a plate of pancakes in front of them. “No syrup, just as you like it”

“Thank you Aunty An”, he smiles at her before diving into his pancakes. It’s a few seconds later when he speaks with his mouth full, “don’t mess up my hair”

Anya only smiles at the kindergartener. “Hey, Tris, you brought Lexa’s bike home, right?”

“Yes, I did”

“Tell me again, where did you find it?”

“It was at my restaurant, as I told you five hundred times”

Anya can hear the annoyance in the Alpha’s voice. “I know . . . it’s just what was she doing at the restaurant? Was she alone?”

Tris shrugs even though she knows the answer. She takes a seat by her oldest. “I don’t know, why not ask Lexa herself? You two are close, no?”

“Right, yeah, we’re close” She glances at the clock on the wall. “And we’re going to be late” Standing up Anya leaves the kitchen and stands at the bottom of the stairs. “Alexandria! I gave you the day off to help Clarke move, not sleep!”

_Lexa wasn’t sure where she was. She stands on a cement sidewalk that leads to a brown double door. The house ahead of her is one she hasn’t seen nor recognizes. It looks beaten down and not taken care of. The dead grass and leafless trees further prove it. The place was familiar yet foreign. It felt like a home she once knew._

_To her left, there's a shabby blue car that probably doesn’t run well. She can see a pink booster in the back of the car meaning a child lives here with their legal guardians. To her right, kid toys are scattered in the yard. She doesn’t miss that all of them are broken and some have burn marks._

_What catches her attention the most is the curious eyes of a child that looks at her from behind a window. The kid blinks at her and hesitantly raises a hand in a wave. Not sure what to do, Lexa waves back. The motion brings a smile to the girl’s face before she disappears. From inside she could hear talking followed by glass breaking._

_“Mama”, came a weak reply._

_“You litt-”_

_“Mama!”_

_The scream shook the trees, shook the house, and shook Lexa. Her ears rang from the deafening scream. Above her, the sky changed._

_Night_

_Day_

_Night_

_Day_

_All while the screaming continued and more glass shattered. She falls to her knees, her hands weakly covering her ears. The noise fills her head, her lungs, her body._

Stop _, she wills the noise to stop._ Stop, stop, stop. _“Stop!”_

_“Stop!”, she wakes covered in sweat. Her teddy, Teddison, simply rolls off her legs and onto the bed. The girl looks around at her surroundings. She sits on a twin-sized bed with white sheets and a green blanket that is draped over her legs. The blanket has burns in it made from cigarette marks. The room has very few directions but she knows that long ago it was supposed to be designed like the forest. It was supposed to comfort the little one who would sleep in it, now it brings nightmares._

_She has no time to further explore her surroundings as something hits her door. There’s a second of silence before there’s a thud that shakes the door. Strangely enough, she knows what the thudding is._

_“Mama?”, she whispers into the darkness of her room. She knows she should fake asleep. That always makes the monsters go away. That always makes_ her _go away._

_A thin body wearing a white t-shirt for clothes crawls to the edge of her bed. A sound beckons her away from the safety of her bed and towards the door. Someone scratches at the other side. There are groans of pain accompanied by the sound of liquid sloshing back and forth in a bottle._

_The hesitant, weakened girl gets out of bed. Her feet are silent as they move across the wooden floor of her bedroom. She expertly avoids the pile of glass from yesterday’s incident. “Mama?”, she whispers._

_The door opens revealing a familiar and frightening face. A woman who the girl has grown to call her mother, a woman who has birthed the skinny, weak, and frightened girl that stands before her. She sports jet black hair and eyes the color of leaves. Her face has faint freckles running from one cheek, across her nose, and to the other cheek._

_The girl wisely steps back. Her voice cracks as the fear bites at her vocals. “Mama?”_

_There’s a chuckle as cold eyes bore into small green eyes. “Alex-”_

“-andria! I give you the day off to help Clarke move, not sleep in!”

 _There's my alarm,_ Lexa thinks with a grimace on her face. She doesn’t think this with bitterness or anger. She doesn’t mind Anya waking up the whole house to wake Lexa up. She found it rather amusing as it was a tradition that had carried on from their teenage years to their adult life.

**Many, many years back, nine to be exact, Lexa was a dumb 15-year-old who had grown in her popularity at her school rather fast. Of course, she was invited to parties and had Omegas, Betas, and Alphas all over her. She wasn’t one to turn down fun and she just got out of being grounded so naturally, she snuck out of the house that very night to go to a party. She knew it was a dumb decision as her feet dangled from the roof. She knew she should turn around as she tiptoed across the green lawn of her home. She knew she should be in bed as she was smiling at the many familiar faces in the crowded, loud house. She, and everyone else, were aware they had school the next day but they all continued with the party.**

**She was sleeping on her bed in nothing more than underwear when she was woken by someone banging on her door. Of course, she ignored this. After living with her sisters for six years, she soon learned they are rowdy in the morning. When the banging came a second time she responded with a growl.**

**“What was that?”, came an angry reply.**

**Lexa almost responded with another growl but she bit it back as she knew better than to growl at the older Alpha. Anya was strong on Alpha status and respect. “Ugh”, Lexa groaned. She rolled over and out of bed. There was a thud as her head hit the wooden floor. “What do you want, An?”**

**“You may not care about your grades but I do. Get out of bed and get dressed, you have ten minutes”**

**“I can’t do-”**

**“Are you complaining?”**

**Lexa bit her tongue. Her eyes focused on her white ceiling. She knew better than to argue with the Alpha as that ends up with her in a headlock. “No”, she grumbled.**

**“What?”**

**“I said no!”**

**Anya walked off satisfied with the answer. She didn’t miss Lexa muttering a ‘why can’t you go to college already’.**

**It was ten minutes later when Anya kicked off the routine that would carry on for years as they continued living under the same roof. She was standing at the end of the stairs with a then 17 old Luna. Like usual, Luna was grumbling under her breath as she cursed out her younger, and very much hated sister.**

**“Out of everyone in the foster home mom adopts the one who doesn’t have a concept of time?” Luna preferred to be on time. It was getting worse recently and no one knew why. Lexa had said she’s seen the Omega with some female Alpha but she never cared to know who it was.**

**Of course, that angered Anya. She was quick to smack her sister on the back of the head before shouting up the stairs.**

**“Alexandria! Get your ass out of bed before I pull you out of there myself! I’ll make you go to school butt naked!”**

**“That’ll get me expelled!”**

**“Not my problem!”**

**There was a pause before Lexa responded. “I am out of bed you dumb Alpha!”**

**“What was that?”, Anya was halfway up the stairs when Lexa responded.**

**“Nothing” Of course Lexa had heard her sister walking up the stairs. Her door didn’t have a lock so she had no way to save herself from Anya. The door was opened and a very pissed off Anya glared at Lexa.**

**“You’re not even dressed!”**

**Lexa eyed herself on the wall mirror. She now stood in underwear and a long shirt. “I-”**

**“And I’m a dumb Alpha? At least I can dress myself”**

**Before Lexa could respond, Anya had her in a headlock. Her knuckles rubbed against the younger Alpha’s head. “Ugh! Stop that!”, Lexa sounded mad but she had a smile on her face. “Anya!”, she laughed.**

**“Not until you apologize”**

**“I’m sorry”, she laughed. “I’m sorry”**

**Luna had followed Anya up the stairs. She watched her siblings interact. She saw the smile on Lexa’s face that only Anya could bring out. Having enough and feeling jealousy in her stomach, she chose to interrupt the moment. “Can we get to school?”**

She especially doesn’t mind as it woke her from one of the many nightmares that follow her into sleep.

Not daring to go back to sleep, Lexa gets out of bed and stumbles to her bathroom. Once in the bathroom, she splashes water on her face to wake herself up. With a dripping face, she looks at herself in the mirror. There are no bags under her eyes but she can see the exhaustion in her eyes. “You got this, Lexa”, she whispers. “C’mon, another day. You’ve made it this far”

She looks away when her face becomes too familiar to someone she wishes to forget. She’s never liked mirrors and there’s only one person to blame for that.

Lexa shakes her head and gets ready for the day. She doesn’t bother responding to Anya who has repeatedly shouted up the stairs about being late. After years of shouting, you begin to tune it out.

After getting dressed she once again stands in a mirror checking herself out. She decided to wear something easy to move in. Shorts and a t-shirt. Her shoes are converse and her hair is put back in her usual braid.

“Lexa!”

“I’m ready”, Lexa steps out of her bedroom. She smiles at Anya who is watching her walk down the stairs.

“Wipe the dopey smile off your face”

“Hey!”

“Just stating what I see”

Lexa glares at her before smiling again. She makes sure to ruffle Anya’s hair as she walks by. “You little shit!”, the Alpha growls. She goes to grab Lexa but Indra stops her with a glare. That and Lexa can easily avoid Anya’s attacks.

“Little what?”

Lexa bites her bottom lip to prevent herself from laughing. She walks around Indra who is now scolding Anya. “What’s for breakfast?”

Shay, who is sitting on the counter, looks at Lexa. “Pancakes!” To prove her point she points at her messy plate of syrup covered pancakes. “Mama made them”

Lexa nods. She sees a plate of blueberry pancakes. Lexa knows she is the only one who eats blueberry pancakes. Taking the plate she walks over to the table, placing a kiss on Luna’s head when she walks by. “Thanks”

The Omega shrugs. “It’s no big deal”

Lexa had quickly eaten her pancakes. She had to admit Luna made the best pancakes known to man. “Alright, I have to go”, she said once her plate was washed off and in the dishwasher. Her leaving early had caught the attention of many.

“Why so early?”

“I promised to give Costia a ride to Raven’s”

“Did you now?”, Luna raises an eyebrow at Lexa.

Lexa sighs. “Luna, I finally don’t hate you”, she grabs her keys and smiles at the older Omega. “Don’t make me start again”

With none of the pups looking Luna flips Lexa off.

“Love you”, she blows a kiss on her way out of the kitchen.

The ride to Raven’s was silent and awkward. Lexa could handle the silence as she was focused on driving but Costia wished to start a conversation with the brunette. However, talking while on a motorcycle was hard. She had forgotten Lexa’s demands to drive the vehicle everywhere. In her defense, she was on cloud nine when she was getting ready for the day.

Costia had woken up around ten, a little early she admits, to get ready, ate breakfast, a healthy smoothie blend with what she assumes is strawberries, then waited for Lexa to pick her up.

An hour after Lexa left yesterday, Costia had texted her asking for a ride to Raven. Sure, she knows where the Beta lives but she wasn’t about to waste an opportunity to ride with Lexa. Truth be told she just wanted to be near Lexa and spend as much time as possible. Sure, she’s ‘seeing’ someone but it’s not official. She’s trying to figure things out with Lexa and Lexa won’t talk to her.

With a huff, she looks to her right to watch the many cars they ride past.

It’s thirty minutes later when Costia finally breaks their silence. They’re walking up the very familiar stairs leading to Raven’s apartment. “Tell me, why am I here?”

“To meet someone”

“Who?”

“A friend of mine . . . at least I think we are friends. I don’t know. I think you’d take an interest in her”

Costia eyes Lexa. “Think you are friends? Are you something more?”

“Does it matter?”

“If you want me to even consider them for an employee, you’ll have to answer some questions”

“Ask them yourself, to her” Lexa walks into the apartment. The door is wide open so people can bring boxes in with ease. “I’m sure she’s around here somewhere”, Lexa walks away from Costia to go to the kitchen and get a bottle of water.

Walking in Costia can see a few boxes in the living room. Usually, Raven's apartment is clean which is surprising as the Beta herself is very . . . well, not clean. That counts language too. She ignores the mess when she spots a cat that sits on the marble counter. “Hi kitty”, she smiles.

She doesn’t get a chance to greet the cat as a familiar blonde walks into the living room. She eyes Clarke who is wearing a white shirt with dried paint on it. She wears shorts that are hidden by shorts and sandals. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun.

“Hi”, she smiles.

Costia smiles back. “Hi”

“Nice to see you again”, she picks Pauna up when the cat walks over to her. “What are you doing here?”

Costia shrugs as she is honestly questioning the same thing. “Lexa, care to explain?”

Lexa had watched the whole exchange with wide eyes. She looked between the two Omega. “You two know one another?”

Both Omegas nod. Before Lexa can explain, Anya walks in with Raven behind her. Raven whistles in amusement while Anya chuckles. “Look at that sis, both of your lo-”, a glove smacks her in the face making her yelp in surprise. “What the fuck!”

Clarke ignores the cursing Alpha. “We met a while back. Someone had stood her up for dinner, my mom had also stood me up so we talked”

Costia coughs. “Someone”, she glares at Lexa.

“I sai-”

“You stood her up?”, Clarke blinks at Lexa. “Really?”

Lexa’s not sure how to respond. She decides to change the subject. “Now that you two know one another this should be easier. I’m going to carry some boxes in. Good luck”

“Le-”, the brunette is gone before Clarke can finish her sentence. She looks at Costia who shrugs.

“Shall we talk?”

Clarke wasn’t sure what they would talk about. She knew Lexa had brought Costia for a reason and it wasn’t for moving boxes in. Clarke had offered to move some boxes and Finn told her ‘no, you won’t be lifting anything. Just unpack things’. “I mean . . . sure, let’s sit on the couch?”

Costia nods. She sits on the couch, one leg over the other. “I’m guessing you don’t know why I was brought to your apartment”

“No, I don’t”

“I don’t know either. Lexa had told me she wanted me to meet you. From what I understand you’re currently jobless”

Clarke nods. “Yeah, I think I found a place but I’m not sure about it”

“Well, I own a place . . .”, she trails off when Clarke gives her a look. “What?”

“Nothing”, Clarke shakes her head. “Nothing at all. It’s just everyone seems to own a business”, a pause, “well everyone Lexa knows”

Costia laughs at that. “That is very true” The two Omega share a laugh before she continues. “But uh, I need an assistant. They wouldn’t do much just handle some things. I’ve gotten busy and it’s all getting a little stressful”

Clarke blinks at Costia. “What do you do?”

“I run a museum. It’s full of many things but mainly focuses on art. It’s a family business. I just run one of the many my parents own” She smiles at the shocked lock on Clarke’s face. “You aren’t from around here, huh?”

“Huh?”

“Everyone around here is either struggling with money, somewhere in between where they are closer to poor than well off or rich. You seem shocked by all”

“Oh”, Clarke frowns for a second before shrugging. “I was born here . . . guess I moved away too soon for everything around here to be even considered normal”

“I get that”, Costia nods. “So, what do you say?”

Clarke looks away from Costia and to Lexa who is carrying in a box. _They got started fast._ She eyes the brunette who is willing her eyes to not look at the couch and at the two Omegas who are on it. Surely, Lexa brought Costia here to give Clarke a job opportunity. Lexa’s just that nice but is she fine with it?

Clarke leans over to catch Lexa’s eyes. She smiles when the brunette meets her eyes. “Hi”, she says with a wave.

Lexa plays dumb and looks around. She then points at herself mouthing a ‘me’. When Clarke nods she waves back. “Hi” She goes to smile only to meet eyes with Costia. With one last wave Lexa turns and leaves.

“Well?” Costia asks to get Clarke’s attention. She’s not sure what she just witnessed.

“Thank you-”

“Great, can you start tomorr-”

“But I’ll have to decline”

**********

Everything had started peacefully. It was awkward at first as Clarke had turned Costia down and it was just the two on the couch. Raven was running about playing with Pauna. Costia had excused herself thirty minutes later saying she needed to open up the museum.

With Costia gone Raven finally sat by Clarke. She said ‘thank god she’s gone’ before diving into playful banter and talking as they waited for everyone to arrive. When everyone did arrive, Clarke was greeted by hugs from those she hasn’t seen in days. ‘The Strangers’ were happy to see her and some were giving looks to Lexa that had the Alpha angry.

**“Nice to finally see you” Octavia smiled at Clarke before moving over to the couch. “Man, I love this couch”**

**Jasper went to hug Clarke only for Clarke to be pulled away by Lexa. The blonde gave the Alpha a confused look.**

**“Sorry, it’s just”, she gave Clarke a glass of cold water, “you look hot”**

**“Thanks, you too”**

**Lexa’s ears reddened. “I- no- you’re not- well you are- it’s-”**

**“Relax”, Clarke laughed. “I'm joking. Thanks for the drink. I’m probably hot because of nerves or something”**

**“Nerves?”**

**“I did just move into someone’s apartment. I’ve only known them for two weeks”**

**Lexa smiled. “Raven is the best roommate you can have”**

**Clarke nodded and took a sip from her glass. As she drank she caught Jasper’s eyes. She gave him the best smile she could manage while drinking from a glass.**

**Lexa, however, eyed the Beta. Many noticed this and laughed. “What?”, she growled out in annoyance.**

**“Nothing”, they all replied at once.**

**Lexa was going to drop the subject but she noticed Jasper smirking at her. “What?”, she asked with more anger.**

**He shook his head and shrugged before turning away.**

Once everyone arrived jobs were assigned. Most of the females decided on unpacking boxes. The males and Alphas settled for carrying the many boxes up the stairs. Lexa didn’t know what to do. Clarke had said she could help her unpack some bedroom stuff but the Alpha refused. Lexa soon settled for carrying up boxes.

It only took two hours for things to go from playful to serious. The ones who made it that way? Finn and Lexa.

The two had ignored each other for most of the night but soon Finn stepped on Lexa’s feet, metaphorically, by calling her out.

Lexa leans against a box, sweat dotting her forehead. Despite it being October, it was a hot day. She knew she couldn’t keep her shirt on if she wanted to continue carrying boxes. She settled for taking her shirt off leaving her in shorts and a sports bra. She put her hair up in a ponytail. “Man, Clarke”, she looks at the Omega who looks up upon hearing her name, “what did you put in these boxes?”, she smiles.

Clarke falters on her words. Her eyes go from Lexa’s sweaty face to her muscled arms then toned stomach. _Fuck._

Raven is the one to snap her out of her mind. “She asked you a question, Griff”

“I . . . I don’t know”

Lexa opens her mouth to respond but Finn bumps into her. “Hey”, she growls out. “I’m standing here”

“You’re standing in the way”

“I’m by the counter”

“In the way”, Finn sets a box down. He eyes Lexa before smiling. “Why don’t you help the ladies unpack? This seems to be too much of a task for you”

That had Lexa’s attention. “Really now?”

“C’mon, Lexa, who’re you trying to impress?”

“Listen here fluffy head”, Lexa growls out, “I’m not trying to impress anyone. How about you take your head out of your ass and move along”

Finn huffs in anger and squares his shoulders.

Lexa notices this and glares at him. “Bite me”, she hisses out.

Finn is beginning to growl when Raven interrupts him. “Now, now guys. No fists, not in my apartment. How about we just agree both of you are equally powerful Alphas?”

Finn scoffs. “Equal my ass”

“You think you’re tougher Finny-Boy?”, Lexa glares at him.

Raven smiles. “The bigger Alpha can carry in the most boxes”

Raven’s little comment had come off as a challenge. Of course, both Alphas were quick to jump onto the challenge. It helped speed up the moving process as boxes were being carried up the stairs and into the apartment faster than before. Of course, Lexa had the lead. When she puts the last box on the floor she smugly smirks at Finn. She laughs when Finn almost trips over Pauna who hisses and runs into an empty room. The cat wasn’t like the new, crowded area.

“I win”, Lexa says as she catches her breath. She looks proud of herself and could tell everyone else was too. She wasn’t looking for their approval though.

Finn grumbles something about cheating before standing up. “Don’t make me grab the broom”

Clarke doesn't fail to notice the way Lexa’s eyes widen momentarily. “No one likes a sore loser”, she mutters before sitting on the couch of the arm. She no longer looks proud, just exhausted. Clarke looks at Raven who shakes her head.

“Alright”, Raven stands up, “thanks for your guys’ help. We appreciate it, you can leave now”

No one leaves which didn’t surprise anyone. Raven was joking anyway, so they think.

  
  


Hours later everyone had gotten back that playful mood. Clarke was beginning to feel comfortable so she took a seat by Lexa on the couch. She was offered beer but declined as she wasn’t in the drinking mood.

Finn walks into the kitchen and returns with a glass of water. He had watched the way Clarke talked to Lexa the whole time. They were currently laughing about some old memories. It seemed they had conversations easily. The Alpha was hoping for something out of the blonde but Clarke, like usual, was oblivious. He watches for a second longer before speaking.

“So, Griffin, where’s your mom?”

Clarke trails off in the middle of her sentence. She looks at Finn, her blue eyes are cold and unforgiving. She lets out a low growl that has Lexa stiffening by her. “Seriously, Finn?”

“What?”, he shrugs, “I’m just asking what everyone won’t”

Of course, everyone was wondering what happened to the angry Alpha who stormed into the bar a while back but they were smart enough to keep silent. Clarke eyes the faces of those who look guilty. _I can’t blame them._ She sets her glass down. “She’s on a plane to Florida or something”

“Your home?”

Clarke doesn’t respond.

“Your dad’s last breath place?”

“You know what home, Finn”, she growls out.

He nods. “No goodbye?”

“Of course not, you’ve met my mom. I’ve disappointed her once again so I’m not worthy of goodbyes”

Finn nods. He looks into the distance acting as though he’s dropped the subject. When Clarke looks away he mutters a ‘wouldn’t be the first time’

Clarke, of course, hears that. She bristles, “what was that mop head?”

Raven lets out a silent ‘oooh’ as she looks away. She takes an awkward sip from her beer. Everyone else in the room looks at anything but the two fighting friends. Lexa has no choice but to look at her hands as she is sitting in the middle of the two.

“I’m just saying your family isn’t great at goodbyes, now are they?”

Clarke knows what he’s talking about. She knew it was only a matter of time before he attacked her weak point. What angers her more is the fact she doesn't know whether to agree with him, he’s right, or get mad. “That’s rich”, she chooses to respond, “coming from you”

Finn only blinks.

“If I remember correctly your mother left you without a goodbye or a hug as soon as she saw your face. Oh, what was it your father did? Left you too?” Clarke nods, “I believe so”

“You take that back”

Clarke defiantly looks him in the eyes. “Not until you take your words back”

“I’m not taking back true words!”

“My words are just as true as yours!”

“At least I knew what was happening! Your mother killed your father and didn’t tell you for years! She didn’t let you say goodbye to your sick, weak, cancer father!”

Everyone can see that comment does something to Clarke. Her blue eyes are enveloped in black. “You sick son of a bitch!” Before anyone can react she’s on her feet and laying a punch on Finn’s face. She goes to hit again but arms around her waist stopped her. “You take that back!”, she shouts. She’s lifted off her feet. Kicking to get away she continues shouting at Finn, “you take that back!”

“Clarke”, Lexa struggles to keep the blonde in her arms. She’s trying to get the blonde to the bedroom where she can separate her from Finn.

“Come at me Griffin, we all know who would win”

“Let me go!”, she roars.

Lexa winces as sharp teeth bite into her arm. “He’s not worth it”, she glares at Finn who is watching Clarke with a smug look. She relaxes when Clarke goes still in Lexa’s arm. Lexa’s sure she can smell the calming pheromones she is putting out.

“Wow”, Finn laughs. “That’s all it takes. Wish I knew that sooner”

That sets her off again. Clarke suddenly pulls forward, successfully pulling Lexa forward. Lexa almost falls but steadies her feet before she can. Mustering up whatever strength she can use without hurting Clarke, she starts walking away. She risks a glance over her shoulder and at Clarke’s room. Her muscles stay tense until she is safely in Clarke’s room.

“I’ll kill you!”, Clarke roars before the door is slammed shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little sudden and quick. Needed to put something out. Especially Finn and Clarke arguing. Saw it in my ideas and was like ‘eh, I guess’. I promise at some point pasts are explained and things will start making sense. Like why noise wins an argument with Lexa and all that.  
> Also, it may seem like I dragged Costia in to have a long chapter but I realized how weird it would be and all that and I have different plans as I change up this whole story. So . . . yeah. No update for a while. I’m talking about less than a week but longer than two days.


	23. I'll Be Here The Whole Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I said I wouldn’t be able to update in roughly three days (less than a week but more than two days) but the chapter that was gonna be after 'No Thank You' was deleted. Yep, I scrapped it. It was gonna be about Finn but I felt now wasn’t the time to put it in and I did introduce a new character in the previous chapter and got this idea so . . . yeah. I may do a chapter about Finn later depending on if it fits or not. I don’t know.

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours"**

Raven’s among the many who have no idea what just happened. All she knows is Finn said something that pissed Clarke off and now the blonde is-

“I’ll kill you!”

-going to kill Finn.

A part of Raven had always assumed Finn and Clarke had a past. The Alpha was always looking at Clarke, whether it be a glare or judgemental. It seemed Clarke ignored Finn and now she knew why.

Raven was one of the first to hear Finn would help Clarke move. Upon hearing that, she got nervous. However, her nerves were cut short as everyone started having fun. _But nooo, he had to ruin it._

“Things could’ve gone better”, Raven whispers, earning herself a glare from Anya. “What? Am I wrong?”

“No, but you don’t have to point it out”

Raven rolls her eyes but knows Anya is right. The Alpha is right in a lot of departments. To prevent herself from saying some dumb comment, Raven bites her bottom lip.

As the silence carries on Raven downs her beer and the remainder of Anya’s. “I’m going to get some more, a lot more. Y'all want some?”

Everyone nods.

  
  


Wrestling out of Lexa’s hold, Clarke turns on her heel and glares at the Alpha. “What the fuck!”

Lexa ignores the exclamation hiding a question as she steps away from Clarke. She keeps herself between Clarke and the door to prevent the blonde from leaving and doing something dumb. With Lexa not answering the hidden question, Clarke gets mad. She was expecting this so she lets Clarke yell, cure, and glare at her. She’s dealt with angry people throughout her life so she can deal with Clarke.

It’s roughly five minutes later when Clarke finally stops cursing. She goes to leave but Lexa leans against the door. “I can’t let you out, Clarke”

“The fuck you can’t”, Clarke growls, reaching to open the door but Lexa puts her hand on the doorknob. “Let. Me. Out”

“Can’t”

Clarke eyes her. “Lexa”, she begins only to stop. She can see Lexa won’t move. “Fine”

With no escape or outlet for her anger, Clarke starts pacing and rambling to herself. She walks from one wall to the other, to the end of the bed, and back to the first wall. As she’s doing this her breathing speeds up, her eyes turning red with unshed tears.

Lexa pushes away from the door. She opens it slowly hoping Clarke won’t notice and try to escape. With the door opened Lexa looks out at Anya who is quick to notice her. “Can I get some water?”

“Yeah”, she nods, “of course” She’s quick to fill a cup with water and hand it over to Lexa.

“Thanks”, she closes the door. SHe approaches Clarke who stops pacing long enough to look at Lexa. “Drink this”

“Let me out”

“Drink”

“Not thirsty”

“Drink”

“I’m not getting out, huh?” Lexa shakes her head. Her denial angers Clarke but the blonde accepts the glass of water nonetheless. She takes small sips from the water. They stand in silence, Lexa listening to Clarke’s breathing even out, Clarke holding back the tears that threaten to fall. “Sorry”, she squeaks out.

“Oh, don’t be, it was Finn’s fault”

“Oh, no, fuck that”, Clarke shakes her head. “Fuck Finn. I was talking about biting you”

“Oh, it’s fine. I’ve felt worse”

“Felt . . . worse?” As soon as she asks her question she can see Lexa remembering forgotten memories. The flash of fear in her eyes, the hands open and close in fists. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked”

Lexa ignores Clarke and sits on the edge of the bed. She pats the spot by her, happy when Clarke sits down. “I uh, your dad died?”

“Lung cancer . . . I was 15”

 _I knew that._ “Do you want to tell me about him? Talk about him?”

Clarke thinks about the question. She hasn’t heard that question in . . . ever. Lexa is the first time someone has asked about her dad in years. The first time someone wanted to know about him and not what happened to him. She blinks hoping to stop the stops but they fall anyways.

“Shit, I didn’t mean to make you cry” Lexa starts panicking. “I’m so sorry. That was selfish of me”

“No”, she wipes her tears. “It’s just . . . I would love to talk about him”

“Oh,” She nods. She waits for Clarke to start but she doesn’t. “Uh, tell me about him and I’ll tell you about me?”

That’s a damn good deal and they both know it. Clarke stares at the floor before taking a deep breath. “He, Jake, looked a lot like me. Or mini-me a lot like him, either way, we were similar in looks, personality, and shared many of the same interest. I have his blonde hair and blue eyes. He would always say I’m like a ray of sun”, she smiles at Lexa. “I was a smiley kid”

“Was? I think you smile a lot now”

“I’m not a kid though”

“True”

“My mom called me his mini-me. Teachers would tease me and call me Jake sometimes. He was a great man, knew how to make those who are sad smile. Knew how to comfort those who were crying. He was smart and didn’t hide the truth. He was my everything. We got along great, not just because he was the Omega of the family”, a pause, “he was a scientist. Loved to research and figure things out. I would want to help him and he’d say ‘not today, kiddo’ with the gentlest smile on his face”

“Kiddo?”

“Oh, yeah, Kiddo was my nickname. It was always ‘c’mere Kiddo’ or ‘I love you, Kiddo’ or ‘eat your broccoli, Kiddo’. Growing up though, it was just me, dad, and mom. Was that way for many years, with no family or anything. I’m not sure why but it seemed my parents dislike their parents and family members. I’m pretty sure they both don’t have siblings so there were no aunts and uncles. I don’t dare ask now, don’t care enough. But uh, dad would always do what was best despite the consequences. He understood me”, her voice cracks. “Then he got sick. It was strange, not going to lie. One day he was all ‘let’s go play outside’ the next he’s sweaty, groaning in pain and coughing up stuff. The doctors said he had roughly three years. I was 12 at the time and didn't understand why people who are supposed to save others were giving my dad a time limit on his life. It upset me, made me hate my mom for working for them”, she smiles and shakes her head.

“You didn’t get the death talk huh?”

Clarke eyes Lexa. Seeing the softness in her eyes, she smirks. “What tuned that in?”, she asks in a teasing tone. Lexa shrugs, “guess I’m that smart”. “Yeah, yeah”, Clarke rolls her eyes. “But you’re not wrong. I didn’t get the whole death talk thing. I didn’t have pets growing up, my mom thought they were more work than necessary and you know she wanted another pup so when dad would bring up getting me a companion she would say ‘pets do the same things pups do. Eat, poop, sleep. Why not just have another pup’. I’m sure if dad did give her another pup I would’ve got a pet. I also didn’t have any dead grandparents so the death talk wasn't’ really at the top of the talk list.

We moved to Florida a while back so my dad could experience warm beaches, nice weather, and, as he’d put it, ‘hot babes’. Then”, she looks at her hands, “then I came home one night. My parents were arguing. I can’t . . . I couldn’t stay there, y’know? I went upstairs and my mom stormed out. I remember what she yelled before the door was slammed shut”

Clarke’s eyes shut as she wills herself to continue. Not sure what to say, Lexa reaches out and puts her hand over Clarke’s. She pries the fisted fingers apart so she can put her palm on Clarke’s.

Giving Lexa’s hand a squeeze she continues, her eyes still shut. “She had shouted ‘I moved across this country for you and you can’t do one thing for me’. I knew what she was talking about. It wasn’t long after she stormed out that I heard a crash as something fell to the floor. Concerned I ran downstairs to find dad clutching his chest in pain. I called mom, I called several times. I would’ve called 911 but I knew I wouldn’t get a coherent sentence out for them to help me. When she picked up she said ‘he’ll be fine’ then hung up”, she starts crying. “He wasn’t”, sobs shake her body. “He died in my arms several minutes later. Y’know what I told him?”

Lexa shakes her head.

“I said you’re gonna be ok, you’re ok. Over and over again until . . . you know. I knew he knew he wasn’t going to be ok but he appreciated my words nonetheless”

“That’s what Finn meant by-”

“Abby killed her mate. Yep, that’s what he meant” She sighs and looks towards the window. She watches the peaceful sky and the happy birds.

“I suppose it’s my turn” Clarke gives no response. Lexa lets go of her hand so she can draw a circle on the blonde’s palm. “You already know someone I loved died. I assume I forgot to tell you that it was my fault”

“It-”

“It was”, she interrupts knowing what the blonde will say. “It was, trust me. I don’t remember much despite being quite old, still, a teenager but old enough to understand my actions have consequences. I would prefer not to say much about the situation but uh . . . the man, he loved me. He really did. Took me years to accept that since he had a weird way of showing it. The very strange way”, she looks up from Clarke’s palm and catches her blue eyes. “I take after him. Green eyes, brown hair. Some may argue I take after my mom”, she shakes her head. “It’s strange missing someone you barely knew”

At that moment Clarke could see a wall fall. Not just one of Lexa’s, but one of her own. She eyes the Alpha who has made her feel normal when surrounded by the people who have years of friendship between them. “Was he family?”

Clarke has heard of kids looking more like uncles and aunts rather than parents.

Lexa nods. “He was family and tried to live up to what family meant”

They both know no more words have to be said. Tugging on Lexa’s hand, Clarke lies down on the bed. She makes room on the bed hoping Lexa will lie down too. When she doesn’t she whispers what she wants. “Lie with me?” Lexa hesitates as she lies down. “I’m tired”

“Then sleep”

“I woke up excited for the day’s events. Excited to finally move. THen Finn shit happened and I wasn’t too happy but talking to you helped. Thank you”, she smiles. Lexa nods her understanding. “Will you stay with me?”

Silence.

“Just until I fall asleep”

Lexa nods. She pulls the blanket over them. “Sleep, I’ll be here the whole time”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. I’m not sure what’s happening between Clarke and Lexa. This and the next chapter are a little confusing for me as I need to write the aftermath of everything while getting it to move into the next 'part'


	24. You Are No Alpha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter. Still trying to figure things out between Clarke and Lexa. Also, sorry I haven’t updated in what . . . three- four- five days? I was hoping to upload it yesterday but it was late when I was looking over it and was like ‘screw this, I’ll upload tomorrow after everything’ So uh, yeah . . . DK when the next update will be. I’m still technically writing it as I include a scene that wasn’t there before, meaning conflict that I’m hoping I can use to my advantage to get to a certain point. Basically rewriting this whole story.  
> Translations will be at both top and bottom notes. I find it easier to be able to look at a translation before reading the chapter so you can guess what it is instead of reading it and being like ‘what the frick does that mean’
> 
> Translation(s):  
> hofli Yu ridden ena - May you sleep well

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Clarke dreams of her younger self. The young blonde is blurry as she had blocked out childhood memories as she aged. Clarke rarely dreams of her younger self and finds great joy when she makes an appearance. She’s saddened, however, when she has to imagine what she was like. What innocence she had lost. What joy she had lost.

In her dreams, she tries to imagine her younger self.

She tries to imagine a small blonde girl with eyes the color of the sky. Those blue eyes would hold all the love in the world when they gazed upon the tall man that gave her the blue eyes. They would hold curiosity as they looked at the many scrambled parts on a table, the parts that would combine to become a machine. They would twinkle at the smallest jokes, if they were funny didn’t matter. The joke made her hero laugh so it was enough for her. 

She tries to imagine a small, toothy smile. The girl would give her best smile as she looked up at her father. She would fail to notice how cute she looked with her two missing teeth and ice cream lining her lips. The girl would be smiling. She would smile through everything as she knew her smile brought her parents joy and that was enough for her.

She imagines a small girl proudly sporting a bandage on her knee that the overalls fail to hide. The girl would dig in the dirt acting like she hadn’t fallen on the pavement a minute ago. Her hands would be covered in dirt, her shirt matching her hands as she used it as a napkin. She knew her getting dirty would anger her mother but would bring a smile to her father’s face and that, that smile, that crinkle in the corner of his eyes, that laugh that would make her smile, all those things were enough for her.

She tries to imagine all those things and fails. The perfect images she had clumped together fall apart into a million pieces that are not worthy of putting back together.

Now she imagines a scared girl hiding under the covers. Her blonde hair sticking out of the top of the blanket is the only sign she is under the blanket. The girl would have wet eyes as she screamed for her father when the monsters became real, too real.

Clarke had the dream turn nightmare enough times to know the memory wouldn’t play out the way it should. When Jake should run into the room and slay the girl’s monsters, he doesn’t. The door remains shut leaving the girl alone with the monsters. Her screams fill the room and the darkness swallows her up.

As Lexa had promised she had stayed until Clarke fell asleep. That was thirty minutes ago and she was still lying in the bed. SHe’s not sure why she is still in the bed when she could leave but she didn’t dwell on the thought. _Can’t stay the night, Lexa,_ she reminds herself for the tenth time.

“No, dad”, a whimper comes from the other person in the bed. “Da- no-”, her cries as silenced by a sob. Lexa watches as the blonde starts shaking as the sobs take a toll on her body. Her eyes screwed shut in a failed attempt to block out whatever is torturing her behind those eyes.

She doesn’t’ move to comfort the blonde. Instead, Lexa watches the glistening tears roll down Clarke’s cheeks and onto the pillow. _Now,_ Lexa realizes, _I’ve seen her laugh, giggle that magical giggle, and now I’ve seen her cry._ Up until now, Lexa has only seen Clarke either happy or confused. Sure, there was the time she witnessed Clarke go through hundreds of emotions overseeing Lexa’s motorcycle. Strange enough, all those times were happy memories. A part of Lexa was hoping to only have happy memories when it came to the blonde but now she has a sad memory.

Who’s to thank for that? The one and only Finn.

Her thoughts begin to weigh her down, she starts feeling like she’s suffocating. She turns to Clarke and wipes the tears away. “Wish I could stay” She gives one last glance to Clarke before getting out of the bed and leaving the room. She whispers a ‘hofli yu ridden ena’ before closing the door.

Lexa’s not at all surprised to walk into a quiet living room. She had expected her friends to stay as she knew they wanted to know if Clarke was ok. While lying in the silence of Clarke’s room, she had zero noise coming from the living room telling her no one dared break the silence.

Upon stepping out she was met with looks of curiosity and concern. She’s thankful when they don’t ask her questions. Lexa avoids their eyes as she gathers herself and her sanity. _I’ve experienced enough emotions for one day. May tomorrow be better._ She’s now thankful that there is a party tomorrow knowing everyone needs distractions, especially her. _Deep breath,_ she lifts her head, her eyes finding Anya’s, _I’m ok._ “Let’s go home”

Anya nods and stands up. When she stands up, everyone else does. They silently pick up their things and clean up beer bottles. The silence lasts for five minutes until Raven breaks the silence.

“Is Clarke ok?”

Many hesitate at the question and some slow their movement hoping to hear Lexa’s response. Lexa isn’t sure how to answer the question as she could lie and say ‘yes, she’s fine’ but she knows the blonde isn’t. “I uh . . . she’s sleeping”, she answers, aware that it doesn’t answer the question.

Everyone accepts the answer.

Finn chooses this moment to walk out of the bathroom. He wipes his hands on his jeans to buy himself some time before facing the obvious problem. When he looks up he sees Lea eyeing him. “YOu’re still here” He’s not surprised when Lexa doesn’t respond to him. “Course you are”

Lexa watches Finn walk across the room and over to a painting that leans against a wall. The painting has a bench that sits in front of a lake. “I know this place”, he begins, “Clarke’s dad used to sit on that bench. It was his favorite spot . . . as a kid I rarely saw Clarke but when we did meet we would look for fish in that lake” He looks at Lexa with a sad smile only to frown when the Alpha glares at him. Finn drops his eyes to the ground before looking back at the painting.

 _Pathetic,_ Lexa shakes her head at Finn. She and everyone else knows that he’s bringing up memories to delay whatever it is he is afraid of. She chooses to ignore him and his ranting so she can put on her jacket and toss her shirt over her shoulder.

“I should apologize”, he finally caves.

_There it is._

“I said . . . horrible- no, shitty things”

She takes a deep breath and grabs her phone. She checks over the many notifications from missed calls from her parents. She knows she’ll have to leave it up to Anya to come up with a lie as to why they missed dinner. _Pups won’t be happy._

This whole time Finn watches Lexa carefully. The Alpha is strangely calm. “I”, Finn continues in a whisper, “was supposed to be her Alpha'”

Lexa barely hears the whispered words and she wishes she didn’t. Those words make her freeze as something turns in her stomach. _Breathe, breathe,_ she reminds herself. She knows she should leave Finn alone as giving him a reaction would only give him what he wants. She knows the Alpha says things with a purpose and reason. He never acts on instinct, always thinks before he jumps.

_Fuck reasoning._

She turns on her heels, crosses the room, her eyes looking into Finn’s the whole time, and grabs him by the collar of his shirt. With her grip tight on his collar, she slams him onto the closest wall. “You”, she growls out, “are no Alpha”

Finn doesn’t try to move away from Lexa’s hold on him. Instead, he watches the vibrant green of Lexa’s eyes disappear as red swallows it up. Most would think she is losing control of her Alpha but he knows she’s well in control. Her pheromones getting stronger by the minute further proves his suspicion.

“It’s one thing to threaten me with petty moves but harm Clarke again, verbally or physically, and you will die by my hands”

“I don’t think you’ve e-”

She slams him against the wall to keep him quiet. “I’m not asking for excuses! Do you understand”, a pause, “Finn” She growls his name like its poison on her tongue.

“Yes”

They maintain eye contact. Lexa doing so to make sure Finn isn’t lying, Finn doing so to show Lexa he isn’t lying. “Good” She growls one last time before moving away from him. When he falls to the floor she watches with disgust. _That party better have alcohol._

Lexa steps away from Finn, her eyes finding Anya’s who stands by the front door. “YOu’re not letting me take the motorcycle, are you?”

“Not with your adrenaline-filled body”

“Wh- I’m not adrena-”

Anya doesn’t let Lexa finish as she crosses the room and grabs Lexa’s hand. She holds them in front of the younger Alpha’s face to prove a point to her words. In Anya’s hands, Lea’s shake as she wills them to not go into fists. “You need to release some energy, not get in a crash. C’mon, we’re going to take a jog in the park then get some drinks”

Lexa frowns and pulls her hand away from Anya. “I don’t think drinking away my problems is going to help”

“It’s worked before”, she shrugs. Anya tugs at Lexa’s hand to get her moving. She says a quick goodbye to Raven before leaving.

“I would prefer not to have a hangover in case Clarke calls”, Lexa says as she gets in the car.

“That makes sense but we're not looking for logic right now. You’ll see Clarke tomorrow anyways” She receives a blank look from the younger Alpha. “At the party” Still a blank look” “You did invite her, right?”

Lexa nods. “Yeah, she’s my plus one”

“Your date”

“Plus one”

“Whatever, so with the knowledge I gave you, do what you please with it, you can relax and jog with your cold older sister then worry about Clarke tomorrow, yeah?”

Lexa opens her mouth to argue but she settles for a nod. “Yeah”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it’s a short chapter. Also, added that whole imagining scene last minute and kinda went with the flow. It started as Lexa trying to imagine a younger Clarke to Clarke having a nightmare. 
> 
> Translations:  
> hofli Yu ridden ena - May you sleep well


	25. To The Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it’s a short chapter. Technically this chapter was supposed to be a part of the next chapter, therefore, making it longer but I wanted to get something out as I’m sure my week will be busy. I feared I may not upload for the whole week and that wouldn’t be fair.

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Clarke had heard Lexa leave. She pretended to be asleep but sleep didn’t come easy after having a nightmare. A part of her contemplated talking to Lexa but she didn’t want to drag the Alpha into her problems. It was no surprise to her when Lexa left soon after she had her nightmare.

“Hofli Yu ridden ena”, she had said leaving Clarke questioning what those words meant. Questioning what language it is.

When she heard the door close she had sat up and stared into the darkness of her room. The blank walls and boxes made her feel like she didn’t belong in the room. They made her feel lonely but she didn’t dare leave the room in fear of what would happen.

 _Sleep,_ she convinced herself. _Must sleep._

As Clarke expects her sleep doesn’t last long as she’s roused from her sleep. The sound of something hitting the wall has her sitting up and looking around. _What the fuck . . ._

She carefully gets out of bed and walks to the door. With her ear pressed to the door she can hear words being said.

“You”, someone growls, “are no Alpha”

Whoever was growling was releasing pheromones that quickly filled Clarke’s room. The smell is surprisingly calming but still makes her feel like she’s suffocating.

Clarke pushes away from the door when she hears no reply. She’s almost to her bed when the same person talks.

“It’s one thing to threaten me with petty moves but harm Clarke again, verbally or physically, and you die”

 _Harm . . . me?_ She approaches the door again. _Petty moves._ Those words have her interested enough to crack the door open enough for her to see out. What she sees almost has her walking out of the room and demanding it to stop. She wants to demand Lexa put Finn down and for her to stop with the pheromones. Almost, she almost wants to do that but a strange satisfaction lingers in the pit of her stomach. It’s strong enough to keep Clarke where she is.

“I don’t think you’ve e-” Finn tries to speak but Lexa cuts him off. With a snarl, she lifts him off the wall and slams him into it again.

“Understand?”, she growls out.

“Yes”

Clarke doesn’t remember anything else as she retreated to her bed and called it a night.

She’s always thought her first morning in her new apartment would be different. Magical some may dare to say. She’s not sure when she had come up with this idea that the morning after a ‘big event’ things would be different. That she would be different.

Perhaps she started believing the silly things when her father would tell his stories. The way he would describe his adventures and how the next morning he felt like a new man. His favorite story was the birth of her. He would say “the day after you were born, everything changed and I loved it”. Or maybe it was the story of how he changed the morning after his wedding. He had said, “the world had a new glow to it, the colors popped and the sun was as radiant as ever”.

How naive she was.

It takes Clarke thirty minutes to realize how little her life has changed. To her, it seems everything is the same. To her, it’s like she’s still living with Niylah. Sure, her surroundings are different. She doesn’t hear the usual TV playing as Niylah would laugh at something dumb. She doesn’t hear the desperate meowing of Pauna as she begs to be let in. Instead, she hears silence and the occasional sound from neighbors.

_Am I strange for missing those sounds?_

When she has wasted another thirty minutes of the day, she finally leaves her room. In those thirty minutes, she had showered and thrown on casual clothing, an oversized hoodie, and a pair of black shorts. She leaves her room for the first time in hours with one thing on her mind. Food.

“Morning”, she says upon seeing Raven. The woman is eyeing her with confusion as Clarke walks into the kitchen.

“Morning . . . what’re you wearing?”

“Clothes” Clarke walks into the kitchen. “Got any orange juice?”

“Top shelf in the fridge” Raven watches Clarke. “You’re aware we need to leave soon?”

Clarke doesn’t respond as she sniffs the orange juice before recoiling in disgust. “We? Who is we? And where are _we_ going?”

“We is Raven and Clarke and they are going to a lunch party that starts in an hour”

“Ah”, Clarke nods, pretending she understands. She puts the orange juice on the counter before facing Raven. “Party?”

“Lunch party at the Woods’ residence . . . well one of their many residences”

_Party?_

**“Would you like to be my plus one?”**

_Lunch party?_

**“Are you asking me out?”**

**“No, I- unless, it’s just-”**

_At the Woods’ residence . . ._

**“When is this party?”**

**“Two days”**

“Shit!” It all clicks at once. “The party”

Raven smirks at Clarke. “You forgot, huh?”

“I was busy yesterday. When do we leave?”

“Um . . . thirty minutes?”

“Right, what do I wear?”

She eyes the panicked blonde in front of her. She was hoping Clarke would put on a dress and some shoes, maybe put up her hair and they could leave but it seems this party is semi-important to her. “I got you”

*********

Clarke had seen the usual things as they drove to the Woods’ residence. They passed trees, cars, and houses but as they drove on those things began becoming rare. Fewer cars and fewer houses. More trees. She’s asked once or twice “are we in the woods” but Raven never responded. When they drove further into the woods and cars stopped driving by she asked “are you kidnapping me” to which Raven laughed and smiled at Clarke. She finally gave Clarke an answer which didn’t settle her nerves.

“The Woods”, she had said, “like their privacy when they can achieve it”

_Definitely being kidnapped._

From there they drove in silence. Raven pulled up to a black double gated fence. The doors were wide open and there were other cars parked inside the fence. Clarke didn’t care about the expensive limousine and sports car, she was more amazed by the house in front of her.

“We’re here” Raven stops the car in front of the expensive-looking house. “Ready?”

She got no response as Clarke stared at the house in front of her. She’s never seen something look so expensive in her life. It’s not like she seeks the expensive and big things, simply doesn’t have the money to do that but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t recognize luxury when she sees luxury. “Holy shit”, she whispers to herself as she steps out of the car.

Beside her she sees Raven smirking at her. Raven isn’t surprised by the look of the house so instead of gaping at the house like Clarke, she only laughs. “Save that for when we get inside?”

“In . . . side?”

“It’s a party, Griff. Of course, we’re going inside”

Clarke gives the three-story, expensive house another look before shaking her head. “No, I am not going inside”

“You’re not? Why not?”

“I . . . look at it- it’s so rich and big and . . . rich”, she pauses, “and big”

“Ah”, Raven nods. “Let me guess, it’s rich and big and you’re not rich and big”

“Exactly”

Raven’s smile widens. “Lucky for you it’s just a lunch party and not a ‘meet the parents of your girlfriend’ party. So relax”, she visibly slumps her shoulders, “and breathe” Raven gives Clarke no time to respond as she grabs her hand, drags her up the steps, and into the house.


	26. Realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No translations

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

“You made it inside”, Raven smiles at Clarke. She goes to congratulate the blonde but is distracted as two kids run in front of them.

“Ilina”, a young pup, shouts as they barely avoid colliding with Raven’s leg. “That’s not fair!”

Both Clarke and Raven watch the pups until they turn a corner and disappear from their sights. Raven shrugs the scene off while Clarke realizes she has seen the two pups before.

“Who are they?”

“Oh, that was Ilian and Willa. The fraternal twins of the Woods’ family”

Once inside they quickly come to a stop as two kids run in front of them.

“Ilian!”, a young pup shouts. “That’s not fair!”

Clarke watches the two pups until they turn a corner and disappear from her sights. It takes her a second to realize that she’s seen the two pups before. “Who are they?”

“The pups? Their names are Ilian and Willa. They’re fraternal twins”

She nods to this not sure what answer she was expecting from Raven. _Not that answer._ She doesn’t get to think about it for long as Raven drags her further into the house. They walk past early guests who keep to themselves. They pass many employees who set out food and sweep the floor. One man, a bald man, greets each guest.

“So nice to see you”, he says to a group of well-dressed people.

“And that”, Raven gets Clarke’s attention as she motions to a woman ahead of them. “Is Luna, the twins’ mom. Well one of their moms . . . she’s the Omega parent”

Luna had heard Raven say her name as the Latina approached her. She also heard her share information with the stranger next to her. “Hey, Raven”, she smiles. “Welcome,” The two share a quick hug before Luna looks at Clarke “Hi, the name’s Luna, though you already know that. I don’t think we’ve met before”

Clarke eyes the woman in front of her. Despite not meeting her before she feels they’ve crossed paths at one point. When she saw the twins earlier she thought they looked like someone she knew a long time ago. “I don’t think we have met. Name’s Clarke”

“Clarke Griffin?”

“That would be my last name”

“As in Abby’s daughter?”

“The one and only”, she says not sure how to respond.

“Huh”, she whispers with a dumbfounded look as she takes the blonde in. _So this is Clarke . . . should’ve recognized her. Same blonde hair that was always in a bun._ She looks at the neat bun sitting on the blonde’s head. _Same sky blue eyes._ “You uh, you look the same”

“Look the same? I’m sorry? Have we met before?”

Luna smiles at Clarke. “You wouldn’t remember but that doesn’t matter right now. Welcome to the Woods’ residence, Clarke. I would love to show you around myself but it seems Raven has that handled. I do hope you have fun at this party”

“Yeah . . . thanks” Clarke gives a quick smile before she’s dragged off by Raven again. She can’t help but think that Luna is a weird person or interested at most. “That’s Luna, huh?”

Raven nods. “Great person. Not sure what all that was about but as she said ‘it doesn’t matter’. Now, shall we get some drinks?”

Clarke doesn’t see the point in declining the offer as Raven had already drug both of them to the beverages table. “I guess drinks sound nice”

Raven hums to this. She takes in the many offered drinks and foods. She’s sad to see there’s no beer but she expected as much. “So”, she says once she has a glass of punch. “You know Luna?”

Clarke doesn’t respond immediately to this. She gives Raven a small smile as she’s handed the glass. “I don’t think so, I mean she recognized me so maybe we have met before. Who knows”, she shrugs. “Small world”

Their conversation dies out as more people enter the house and the party gets started. Clarke had looked at the many faces of strangers and realized two things.

One: Everyone knows everyone but she knows no one

Two: Everyone is rich to some extent and attends these parties in hopes of making business deals or finding something greater

These realizations led her to find a corner in the house where she’s invisible. Even if she’s not, being in the corner makes her feel invisible, and that works for her. She would be more invisible if Raven didn’t demand on keeping her company in the corner.

“I don’t mind”, Clarke had told her several times but the comment was always shrugged off. SHe only got a response once.

“I don’t want you to look lonely or feel lonely”, Raven had said before greeting someone.

It took little time for Clarke to make her third realization. Raven knows everyone at the party. She had spent the last hour watching as the Beta said hi to people then would talk about old memories they had together. A few times Raven introduced the person to Clarke but she soon realized Clarke wasn’t one for conversation.

Over the next hour, Clarke made her fourth realization. She regrets showing up. It wasn’t much of a realization as she deeply knew she didn’t want to go to this party. She found this out when she failed to see the person she came to the party for.

Yes, the food is awesome and the punch is amazing, almost to die for, but the company is . . . great when it’s just her and Raven and that is rare.

 _Why did I come to this,_ she gloomily thought as she chugged her fourth glass of punch.

She was heading to get her seventh glass of punch when she felt Raven’s hand on her shoulder.

“You don’t want to use the restroom during a party. Trust me. Lots of people having sex”

Clarke signs knowing Raven is right. “But it’s so good”

“That’s the point, Griff” The Beta looks around before pointing at a seat. “Let’s sit down. We’ve been standing for the last two hours, surely you’re as tired as I am”

She nods to this and follows Raven to a seat. “You know a lot of people”

“You meet more and more people when you become a friend of the Woods family”

“That's popular?”

“They have a lot of connections” Raven leans her head on one hand as her exhaustion finally shows. She notices Clarke looking at her. “It gets tiring”

“I assumed as much” She looks back in her seat and eyes her surroundings. She looks at a group of five people. There are three strangers, Luna and Luna’s wife, Tris, as Raven had said her name was. Luna has a smile on as she talks to the three strangers. When they shake hands and part, Luna’s smile drops.

Clarke looks at another group much bigger than the last one. It consists of many people to the point she can’t see who that group is surrounding. To her, it is obvious that the person in the middle is popular and must hold many opportunities.

Curious, Clarke tilts her head and leans in trying to get a good view of the person. She almost asks Raven when she finally sees the person in the middle. The person she has been looking for all night.

“Lexa”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter


	27. Unwanted Guest

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

“Lexa”

“Lexa?” Raven lifts her head and looks at Clarke. She follows the blonde’s gaze to a large group of people that stand by the front door. “In the group”, she whispers more to herself than anyone else.

Raven has always known Lexa could attract unwanted attention. It only took one look at Lexa and you’d be swooning and kissing the ground she walked on. There were always groups around Lexa when it came to parties.

Raven looks away from the group and to Clarke. She watches as Clarke leans forward in an attempt to see the Alpha hidden among the people. She can’t decipher Clarke’s look and isn’t sure if she wants to decipher it. “Hey, Clarke, go talk to her” She nudges the blonde with her shoulder hoping it’ll motivate her to get moving.

Clarke has already considered walking over there at least five hundred different times in the last minute. She would go over there if it wasn’t for the fact that the people who made up the group intimidated her. They consisted of rich females and males, Omegas, Betas, and the occasional Alpha. Everyone wore gold earrings, necklaces, any jewelry really. They looked like they were crafted by a God themself. She, however, did not appear that way. The group succeeds in making Lexa laugh meaning she enjoys their company.

_Should I go over there?_

She watches as one woman touches Lexa’s arm in a flirty way, not at all trying to hide her intentions. Lexa doesn't seem to mind as she smiles at the woman. To Clarke, it seems like Lexa is initiating her to continue flirting.

_Go over there just to get lost in the crowd?_

The woman takes Lexa’s smile as encouragement and starts running her hand up Lexa’s arm. Her hand is slapped away by a small toddler in Lexa’s arm. The action causes not only the woman but everyone else to laugh. Lexa doesn't laugh at this as she is too nice to do so. Instead, she grabs the woman’s hand and asks if she’s ok while looking into her eyes. Clarke’s sure if the woman wasn’t in public she would’ve orgasmed right there and begged for more.

That helps Clarke make her decision. She drops her eyes to the table and sighs. “I’m good”, she glances at Raven who raises an eyebrow at her. “Who uh-”

“The pup? That’s Shay, Luna’s youngest pup”

Clarke’s not wondering about the pup but she nods nonetheless. “She really likes Lexa”

Raven nods. “That’s Shay”

 _Still not talking about the pup,_ she nods to Raven.

Raven takes a slow sip from her cup, her eyes on not Shay but the woman who holds onto Lexa’s hand. “She loves Lexa” She looks at Clarke. “You may have competition”

“With a pup?”

“Competition is competition, no?” Raven continues before Clarke can answer. “She’s coming our way”

“Who?”, Clarke looks up. She watches as Lexa waves goodbye to the crowd that tries to continue conversations. She declines the woman’s invitation to most likely leave the party and fuck. This doesn’t settle well with the woman as she tries again. This time Lexa shuts her down with less kindness leaving the woman mad. The group pouts as Lexa walks away from them and towards Clarke.

Clarke is quick to meet eyes with Lexa from across the room, both smiling when they do. When she looks into green eyes she gets an urge to hug the Alpha.

“Aunty Alex”, a pup looks up at Lexa.

Clarke had failed to notice the pup before. She leans over to Raven to actually ask about the small pup. “Who-”

“That’s Gustus”, Raven waves at the pup who waves back. “Luna’s second-youngest”

“How many-”

“Just the four”

“She’s not-”

“No, she’s not pregnant”, Raven drops her voice, “can’t get pregnant”

Clarke doesn’t ask about that. Like Alphas, Alphas like her mom, Omegas can lose fertility. Clarke had heard it was rare as Omegas were fertile until death. Even if their chances of getting pregnant lowers as they age, it still stays higher than that of a Betas. She supposes Luna is one of the unlucky Omegas.

Lexa sets Shay down and shoos the two pups away. Gustus tries to tug Shay away but the pup argues with Lexa. Lexa shushes Shay and shoos her away again. “Go find the twins, play with them” With a reluctant nod, the two pups walk away. Lexa watches them walk away until they disappear into the crowd. With them gone she faces Clake. “Hi”

Clarke looks around before pointing to herself. “Me?”

“No, I’m talking to Raven”

Raven waves at Lexa who waves back. Both of them laugh when Clarke glares at them.

“Yes, you. I’m glad you came. I was getting worried you wouldn’t show”

“Almost didn’t”, Raven fakes coughs into her arm. She winces when Clarke elbows her in the side of her stomach.

“Why wouldn’t I come?”

“Well, considering yesterday’s events I assumed you wouldn’t want to come. You were like a log last night as you slept” Lexa eyes Clarke. “Speaking of yesterday . . . are you ok?”

Clarke thinks over the events of yesterday. It definitely wasn’t a happy situation but nothing she wasn’t used to. “I feel fine”, she’s positive that’s a one hundred percent truth. “Yeah, I’m fine”

“Clarke”, she says not sure what she is trying to say. When Clarke doesn’t respond or look at her, she reaches out and tucks a stray hair behind Clarke’s ear. “Clarke”

“Sorry. I was just thinking. I’m fine. I’m used to Finn’s shit” She looks into Lexa’s eyes hoping the Alpha will drop the topic. Much to her relief Lexa does just that.

“Alright”, Raven sighs as she stands up. “I know when I’m not wanted and for sure am going to be a third wheel” She downs the rest of her drink before addressing Lexa. “Is Anya here yet?”

“In the kitchen”

“That’s helpful”, Raven scoffs. “The kitchen is a living room” When she gets no response from either of them she scoffs again and begins to walk away. “You two gonna b-”

“We’ll be fine” Lexa gives Raven a tight-lipped smile.

Not wanting to anger Lexa, Raven puts her hands in the air to surrender and takes slow steps back. “I’m going, I’m going” Raven glances over her shoulder before she disappears into the crowd. It surprises her very little that Lexa is whispering in Clarke’s ear. Whatever she’s saying has Clarke smiling. _Dopey idiots._

Raven was sure she would bite someone’s head off. Walking through the crowd was hard but harder when you knew almost everyone in the house. She had to politely decline drinks and conversations. She had to come up with petty excuses and avoid those she had hooked up with in the past. More than once Ilian and Willa almost made her trip. Her hands were sticky as she had to walk a crying Shay over to Titus.

 _I need a drink,_ she thinks bitterly as she sits at the kitchen counter. She had finally made it to the kitchen only to see Anya wasn’t in the kitchen. Her journey had been for nothing.

“As always, it was nice talking to you Nia”

Nia, the no-shit police officer, nods to Anya then to Titus. “My doors are always open. Don’t be a stranger”

Titus smiles at her. “Wouldn’t dream of it” Both Anya and Titus wait until her back is to them before they frown and groan.

“Longest conversation of my life” Anya had expected Titus to stay silent so his silence was expected. “Any more I should talk with?”

“No”

“Great, I’m going to get a drink or two. See you around” She waits for no response from her father. Turning she makes her way through the people and hopefully towards the beverages. It takes five minutes for her to find the table only to see it is empty. There’s a note on the table that says food will be back in ten minutes. “Fuck me”, she growls in annoyance. “A drink sounded nice”

“I thought you were with Raven”

She turns to see Clarke who looks equally discouraged about the beverages. “And I thought you would be with Lexa”

“Was”, she motions to a corner where Lexa is waiting. “I wanted a drink but it seems both tables are out”

“So it seems”

Clarke nods. She glances at her feet before glancing back at Lexa. “I should go”

“Or”, Anya takes her wrist to stop her from walking away. “You could wait with me”

“Wait . . . with you?”

“Yeah”, she smiles. She nods to Clarke. “After all, I know very little about you. You live with one of my closest friends, you make my sister laugh, Luna seems to recall memories about you. Shouldn’t I know something about someone who could do damage to those I love?”

Clarke blinks at Anya with newfound confusion. “Why would- no, how could I damage those you love?”

“Doesn’t matter if I tell you. Both your naivety and knowledge of the situation could do damage. Anyways, that’s not important. Tell me about yourself”, she steps forward and drops her voice, “Clarke”

Clarke swallows past a lump in her throat. She’s not sure where to begin or if she wants to begin. She knows she can’t walk away as Anya has her wrist in her grip. She could refuse but Anya’s look says not to do so. _Oh shit._ Desperate, she looks over her shoulder to send Lexa a desperate look only to find Lexa is no longer in the corner. Instead, the Alpha stands by a table glaring at an older woman who looks oddly similar to her. “Who is . . .”, she turns to Anya but the Alpha is already looking in that direction. The Alpha grinds her teeth together as she stares at the woman. _Ok, so she hates that woman._ “Anya, who-”

A loud feral growl cuts Clarke off. Many guests drop their voices while others step away from the front door. Away from Lexa and the strange woman. Lexa ignores everyone as her eyes are only on the woman.

The woman only sighs and looks around before looking back at Lexa. “Now-”

“I said”, Lexa growls, “what are you doing here”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it’s another short chapter but I think they may be short for the next two or three chapters. Since I’m introducing a new problem than the original story had, I’m technically rewriting the story. I’m not sure about these chapters but I know if I don’t upload them then I’ll just fret over them and never write the next chapter.  
> Also, my schedule suddenly got free due to unfortunate events so plenty of time to figure this fic out.


	28. A Broken Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A look into the woman’s past and eventually Lexa’s past in upcoming chapters. I’m not trying to hide who the person is by calling her ‘the woman’, I just don’t have a name for her. I’ve looked at many of the Grounder characters and can’t find which name I want to use so I may just have to make a quick one up or something. I don’t know.

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

She grew up in a rich family. Her parents grew up in a rich family and her child has grown up in a rich family. She’s sure her child’s child, her grandkid, if that ever happens, will growl up rich too.

She had a rich mom, Juliette, and a rich dad, Adrien. Both were due to take over a company business and their marriage was a business deal made to bring two businesses together. Of course, they could always break apart and find a mate so part of the deal was having a kid. She was the first and only kid.

Being the only child that bloomed from their ‘love’ she was taught to take over the two businesses from day one. There was no fun in her life as fun, as her father put it, ‘was for the weak minded’.

“Fun”, he would say in his low, gravelly voice, “is for those who know their life will not amount to anything. Your life, my dear, will amount to everything”

She had very few friends and those she did have weren’t really friends. To this day she's not sure if she could've called them friends. Her 'friends' were other snooty rich kids whose parents only let them be her friend because great benefits could come to them. When their parents got tired of waiting for those benefits, she would lose a ‘friend’. Soon she was friendless and preferred it that way. It only took a week for her parents to notice how closed in their daughter had become. When they would ask she would say ‘more time to study’ or ‘I have better things to do’. They would always agree to those excuses.

As she grew, she became cold and rarely talked. She knew how to fake a smile, a laugh, feelings. At the age of 18, she was due to take over the businesses but there was a problem. She was in love. She was in love with not a rich man but a very poor man who happened to be one of the maids’ sons. Her parents knew not of who her lover was but they had noticed the change. For that reason she would have to wait to take over the business. When her 'mind was in the right place' she would be allowed to take over.

She met him on a rainy Sunday. She had no plans as the piano teacher canceled since his mom died. She was left to her own devices as her parents went on vacation and wouldn’t return for a week. She would’ve tagged along but she got a 99 on a test and was, therefore "misbehaving and didn’t deserve a vacation". She didn’t care though. Vacations were no fun with them.

So, there she was sitting on the top of the marble stairs watching a poor boy sweep the massive foyer. He’s been at the task for the last hour and is halfway done. She’s sat for the last hour making the occasional comment.

“You’re slouching”

“That I am”, he would respond.

 _Course he wouldn’t understand slouching is bad,_ she had thought bitterly only to find herself slouching a minute later. 

_Slouching isn’t that bad._

“You’re jeans are torn”

“So are yours”

She had fallen for the tease and looked at her bare legs. “I am wearing a skirt, not jeans”

He hadn’t responded as he only smiled at her.

 _Of course, he wouldn’t know jeans are for the poor,_ she had thought with judgment only to find herself wearing jeans the next day. _Jeans aren’t too bad,_ she would think when tomorrow came around.

“Your hair . . . it’s an interesting color”

That had made him stop sweeping. “Interesting?”

She nodded to him and eyed the black hair on his head. “It’s black like a raven’s yet holds blue”

“Is it not the color of a witch herself? Does it not mean bad luck?”

“That it does but a little bad luck is good. Just like a little sadness is good. One would not know happiness if they didn’t know sadness. One would not know how lucky they are if they did not know how unlucky they could be”

He nodded to this not sure how to respond. It took the poor boy an hour to come up with a response. “You know happiness, not sadness?”

“I know sadness”

“It doesn't seem so”

“Maybe your eyes are broken”

“I see quite fine, Ms”

She nodded to this. “I know no happiness, only sadness"

He hadn’t shown up the next day leaving her to sit on the stairs alone. She hadn’t realized how silent the house was. Maids were running about the house but they never approached her or talked to her. The poor boy was the first to ever show any form of kindness or give her a response. She supposed she hadn't shown kindness as she criticized him more than compliments. Made that is why the maids never talked to her. It's not like she'd enjoy their company anyways.

She sat on the stairs for two hours. The same amount of time she would spend on the stairs if the poor boy was sweeping the foyer. As the big clock sang its song at exactly 2, she stood up and prepared to go to her room.

“M’lady”

She had heard that voice, she knew that voice. She hadn’t bothered turning around. “Poor boy”

“I am late”

“Two hours”

“You count?”

She didn’t respond to such a question. A question he knew the answer to. “What is it you wish to say, poor boy?”

“I wish not to say anything. I wish to gift something to you”

“A gift?”, she had asked, voicing her curiosity. She wasn't one to turn down a gift as they were always marvelous and big. She had turned around now. “Where is this gift?”

He had nothing marvelous, nothing big. No, instead he held out a bright yellow flower. “For you”

“A flower?”

“A dandelion”

“A weed”

“Happiness”

She had tilted her head in confusion. “How does one present happiness to another?”

“It’s simple. For one to have happiness from another, they must first accept the happiness. Do take it”, he stepped closer to her.

And accept it she did. She walked down the marble stairs, not as a rich woman but as a teenager. She accepted the gift not as a rich woman but as a friend. She had stared at the dandelion with a smile on her face and a feeling in her heart.

 _Happiness,_ she thought, _isn’t that bad._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I have a name for this woman but I’m not sure. I’m also not sure why they talk weirdly. It’s whatever. Also, this chapter had no real reason to be short. I was positive I liked this chapter and wasn’t hesitant about it. It just seemed appropriate to end it there. Sorry for a short chapter


	29. A Friendship and Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is technically part two to ‘A Broken Family’ but it doesn’t share the same name

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

He was a great friend to her. He brought happiness to her and soon she learned to bring happiness to him. They would only see each other once a day. She would always sit on the marble stairs as he swept the foyer. Like always she would make the occasional comment and he would respond. Whether it be teasing or serious, it was a response nonetheless.

She had started by sitting on the top of the marble stairs but as the days passed by and the years ticked on, she soon sat at the bottom.

Throughout the years she knew the boy, she had learned things about him.

“Poor boy”, she had said a week after he gave her the dandelion, “what is it-”

“My name is Alexander”

She looked down with curiosity. “Alexander?”

“Yes”

“It is not poor boy?”

“No, it is not”

“Ah”, she nodded to this before smiling. “P.B it is”

He went to scold the younger woman only to see her smiling. “You’re teasing, aren’t you?”

She shrugged at him before continuing her sentence. _Alexander, his name is Alexander._

“Why is it you always wear green?” She had asked a year after she learned his name.

“Why is it you always wear a skirt?”

“I asked first, P.B”

Alexander only huffed before smiling. “I like green. It is the color of your eyes and the color of grass. It is the color you often see after a harsh winter. It is the color of soft grass”

She wasn’t sure how to respond to such passion over a color. “I asked for an answer, not an essay”

He didn’t respond to her as he could see the blush coloring her cheeks.

“What is it you go by?” He had asked.

It had been six months since she had asked him why he wears green. Six months since she learned green was his favorite color. “Go by?”

“Yes, surely you do not go by M’lady or Ms”

“Surely I do not”

“So, what is it then?”

“Alexis”

He nodded to that. “Alexis”

“Yes, Alexander?”

“I like it, that is all” He smiled at her. “Our names, they go well together, no?”

“That is no surprise” She had lowered her eyes to the ground and for the first time, she mumbled. “We go together quite well”

“That we do”

It took two years after that for them to finally kiss. They shared it under the oak tree in the middle of spring while it was blooming. Petals had fallen on their heads making them laugh and trapping them in their own bubble. The oak tree was said to bring luck.

It took a month for them to finally say ‘I love you’ to one another. Alexander was the first to say it. He said it as he departed for the night to return to his home. Alexis was next as she said it in the horse stable whilst Alexander brushed a white mare.

It took six months for her to give up what was considered precious. Her virginity.

A month later she now sat on the bottom step of the marble floor watching as her love swept the floor. He hummed a distant tune that she hadn’t heard before. She eyed the man who no longer looked like the boy she had met all those years ago. No, now he had muscles that show under his white shirt. Now he was taller than her even when she wore heels. Now he had a deep voice.

She too had grown up as the years went on. She no longer had short hair that was cut in a bob. No, now she had long hair that went to half her back. She no longer wore glasses. Instead, she wore contacts. She had started wearing them when Alexander said glasses prevented him from seeing the green in her eyes. The green he loved so much.

On this day she did not comment on the random things and he did not tease. Instead, they sat in silence. Her head swimming with thoughts and his mind full of concern for the one he loved.

“Your thoughts trouble you?”, he asked an hour later. He now stood in front of her.

“They do”

“Am I not able to help?”

“I do not see how you could help with this”

“I can not try if I do not know”

That he was right and she knew that. “A month ago, I gave something to you. Something I was told to keep”

He nodded. “That you did and it was amazing. I do wish I had been able to return that gift”

She shook her head. “You do not give gifts with the hope of receiving something later” She smiled at him but it did not reach her eyes. “I . . . I had been hoping I was up to date on pills and such but it seems my hope was misplaced”

He wasn’t getting what it was she was trying to tell him. “I- what is it you are trying to say?”

“I carry our child”, she stood up and sighed. “And I do not know what to do”

She had always thought children were supposed to be a joyous thing. She had watched her aunts and uncles throw parties because they carry a child. She had watched siblings cry tears of joy at the thought of another family member. She had never understood why it was they felt so strongly towards what would be a slobbery, noise nuisance. She hadn’t understood until now as she stood with her face hidden in her hands as she cried tears of joy.

She wasn’t sure what she would do as she was pregnant with the child of not a rich man but a poor boy who was orphaned at 15. They were yet to tell her parents as they were their biggest obstacle. For two months they enjoyed the presence of one another and carried on their routine. It was two weeks later when that routine had to break.

She stood at the end of the long table listening as her father growled about her idiocy and how this wouldn't fare well in the news articles. She had known the time for them finding out was getting close though she had hoped it would’ve been later rather than sooner.

“This child will not be found out”, her father was fuming. “This poor boy will be dealt with accordingly”

She did not know how to respond so she stayed silent. She looked over to her mother who was nodding along with her father.

“We taught you better”, she said in dismissal.

With a stiff nod, she left the dining area. Once out of view she found herself running out back and towards the stable where her lover was working. “You are in danger”, she had said.

He turned to face her. “Danger?”

“Yes, my parents, they aren’t happy about the baby. They say it is a mistake and we are foolish. I do not know what they wish to do to you but it is not good”

He nodded to this. “What do we do?”

She hadn’t thought that far ahead. “We run”

And that they did. That they tried. They left under the cover of the night and thought they were free until they were found by people her father had hired. In the end, only one got away. Only she got away.

Alexander was shot that night under the oak tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh . . . he’s dead  
> The next chapter is the last continuation of Alexis’s story. Technically part three but also not.


	30. Surviving

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Note:

 **Bold** is the past that technically goes along with the last two chapters. Then it goes into the past before Alexis goes to the party. Then it gets present when Alexis is at the party. Sorry if it is confusing.

**She missed sitting on her marble staircase talking to Alexander. She missed the occasional comments she would make and the teasing responses he would give. She missed realizing things weren’t too bad. She missed the way he would look at her and the way he was able to make her blush. Most of all, she missed Alexander.**

**It had been a year since he was killed under the oak tree. She had managed to avoid her parents and she now lived in a small town. She married a man named Quint who, with plenty of sex, believed her daughter was blood-related to him.**

**Six months after marrying Quint she gave birth to a little girl on November 13th. She was small and she thought she wouldn’t survive the night. Quint had faith though, he strongly believed she would.**

**“She is my daughter”, he would say with a smile.**

**She had to agree to this as she wasn’t sure how he would respond to finding out such big information.**

**But he wasn’t wrong. She made it through and got stronger as the months went by.**

**If only her mother wasn’t broken. If only her father didn’t drink and unleash his drunk anger on her mother. If only her mother had been strong enough to leave instead of turning her anger onto the frightened toddler. Onto the frightened girl who was the replica of her mother.**

**If only she had been born into a happy family.**

**Instead, she was born into a broken family.**

She had traveled to the big city where she heard her daughter lived. It was a day trip from the town her daughter was born in. It was no surprise they would take her away from the town. It doesn’t hold great memories for both of them.

Once she had arrived she had noticed how loud the place was. How busy everyone was. She disliked that very much but she wasn’t at the city to judge. No, she was in the city to have a quick conversation with her daughter before leaving. First, she had to find her daughter.

Step one of doing so was visiting a museum where she hoped her daughter’s girlfriend would say. Word on the street was there was where she could find the redhead.

She had walked through the double doors of the museum two hours after she had arrived in the city. She had only one thing on her mind and it wasn’t browsing the art.

“Hello?”, she called out once inside the museum. There was no response which confused her as the museum was open. “Is anyone around? Anyone who can help me?” When she got no response, she walked further into the building. As she walked she looked at the paintings decorating the walls and the objects that are protected by glass. “Interesting”, she whispered as she stared at a sculpture in a glass case.

In the reflection of the case, she could see a woman standing behind her. She gave the object one last look before addressing the woman. “It is rude to stare, sweetheart”

“Don’t flatter yourself”, she responded, immediately on the defense. “I’m simply waiting”

“Right” Alexis turned around. “My bad”

The woman, a redhead, nodded. “What can I help you with?”

“I’m looking for a Costia”

That causes her to hesitate. Her blue eyes ran over Alexis’ face several times before she responded. “Might I ask why?”

“I wish to talk about someone. Or ask where I can find the said person”

 _Sketchy but reasonable._ “Alright”, she put her hand out. “Name’s Costia . . . and you are?”

“Alexis”

They shook hands but the handshake didn’t last longer than a second.

“So, Costia, can you tell me where I can find this person?”

Costia shrugged nonchalantly as she walked away from Alexis. “That depends on the person and reason”

“It’s a yes or no question”

“As I said, that depends on the person and reason”

 _This might be harder than I thought._ Alexis took a deep breath, nodded, and followed behind Costia. They walked down a hall and into a double-doored room. Once they were in the room, Costia moved over to a desk and sat down on the expensive-looking seat.

“So, who is it you think I can help you find?”

“Alexandria'' When Costia gave her a blank look, Alexis further explained. “Alexandria . . . I believe Woods. Goes by Lexa?”

“Ah, Lexa” Costia nodded. “I know Lexa. May I ask why you are looking for her?”

“I wish to talk to her about some stuff. Legal stuff. But I can not find her in this busy and big city. Maybe you, her supposed girlfriend, could point me in the right direction?”

Costia blinked at Alexis before she laughed. “Sorry”, she chuckled when Alexis gave her a confused look. Costia reached out and turned a framed picture so Alexis could see. The picture is of Costia and some man. “I’m not dating Lexa, never was apparently. I’m dating that man in the photo. Lexa and I haven’t talked in quite some time so I do not know where to find her for sure”

“I see” She eyed the photo before she nodded. “I see”

“Is this . . . talk about legal things serious?”

“I would say so”

“Well, I may not know where to find her but I do know that tomorrow there’s this lunch party that the Woods are throwing. She may be there, she may not”

“When?”

“Tomorrow”

Alexis nodded again. “Are you not going?”

“Why would I go? Anyways, I’ll write down the address. You can go and see if you find Lexa there” Costia took out a piece of paper and scribbled down the address. “Although, I do have to say good luck. She may not want to talk to you”

Alexis took the paper. “And why is that?”

“She hates you”

This brings her to now. She had stepped into the expensive-looking house. When she walked in she was almost swept up in a crowd. Lucky for her she had stepped away just in time. She had thought she would stay by the wall for a few minutes before searching the house for her daughter but that hadn’t happened. Instead, her daughter found her.

“You”

Alexis looks around then spots a woman standing by a table. “Me?”, she asks, eyeing the woman. It takes her very little time to figure out who the person is. “Alexandria?”

The woman growls and shakes her head. “Don’t call me that”, she growls out.

“Then what would I call you?”

“My name is Lexa, not that it matters to you?” Lexa moves towards Alexis. She stops a few feet in front of her. “What are you doing here?”

“I happened to be in the city and-”

“Cut the bullshit”, she growls. She growls louder than she meant to. The growl has many going silent, others stepping away, and everyone looking at her.

 _Well great._ Alexis looks around at everyone who is watching them closely. She then looks at Lexa who is still glaring at her. “Now-”

“I said, what are you doing here”


	31. Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to ‘normal’. I’m thinking I have a direction for this story to go. I’m hoping I do. Maybe chapters will get longer, I’m not promising anything. They’re probably gonna be short for some time.

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Whoever the woman is she is highly hated by the Woods family. Clarke saw it the moment the family saw who it was Lexa was growling at. She saw as Anya grounded her feet into the ground and held her hands into tight fists. She watched as Tris held Shay and Gustus close to her protectively. Her eyes never left the woman as she followed Luna and the twins up the stairs. She noticed how Titus’s jaw clenched in anger as he glared at the woman while Indra held the same glare Anya had.

“That bitch” Raven seems to come out of nowhere. She stands by Anya and crosses her arms, one-shoulder purposely touching the Alpha. “She ignores her for 20 years and just shows up expecting to talk”

Anya gives a stiff nod.

“Ignores who?”, Clarke looks to Raven who only shakes her head at her question.

“I think you should watch Lexa carefully”, she advises Clarke. “Who knows what she’ll do. Hopefully, her common sense is still intact”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She can see that no one likes the woman but to make it seem like Lexa would attack her seemed . . . exaggerated, at most. At least to Clarke, it was but she’s only known Lexa for a little over two weeks.

Lexa was enjoying the lunch party. She usually hates her family’s formal events as she finds them suffocating and unnecessary. Sure, family ties should be made and connections had to be up to date but that doesn’t mean she has to enjoy doing that.

But this lunch party she found enjoyable as she had got to talk to Clarke and talking to Clarke was always a joy, at least for Lexa. To Lexa Clarke was amazing. Is amazing. So everything was fun and good but like her mother had said all those years ago, “all good things end, Alexandria. All good things”. Never has she been more right.

Like many in the room, Lexa waits for Alexis to respond to her question. Lexa isn’t sure how long she will wait for her mother to respond as she’d rather not spend more than ten minutes with her. With the way the woman thinks over Lexa’s words, Lexa is sure she’ll be here for a while.

It’s a minute later when she finally says something. “I don’t know what kind of question that is, Alexandria-”

“My name is Lexa”

“That’s a nickname, darling”

“It’s more a name than Alexandria will ever be”

“Right, yeah, sure”, she nods. “Well, to answer your question, Lexa, I am here to enjoy a lunch party. Can I not do that?”

“Here to- wha- the- no! No, you can’t do that. Not at this party”, she growls, on the defense again. Lexa takes a threatening step towards the Omega not missing the way she holds her ground. “You haven’t shown up to any parties for the last 20 years of my life-”

“19”

“19, 20 that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a majority of my life. You didn’t even celebrate my birthdays for the only five years I knew you! So cut the shit, Alexis, and tell me why the fuck you are here”

“How troublesome”, she sighs. “Alright, I have to talk to you-”

“I don’t want to talk to you”

“I think-”

“Think whatever you want and get the fuck out”, Lexa stares into the green eyes. She shivers as she feels like she’s looking in a reflection. “Now”

“That wouldn’t be wise. This . . . matter involves and affects you greatly. I would advise you to listen”

Lexa takes another step followed by a growl. This time Alexis is smart enough to take a step back. “Well, take your suggestions and shove it up your ass where the rest of your shitty opinions belong and get out”, she takes multiple steps until she’s face to face with Alexis. “Or I will”

Alexis eyes her daughter over. She can see the Alpha is serious. Her posture, her pheromones, and the look in her eyes say it all. Strange enough, Alexis is feeling defiant and doubts the words Lexa says. So, in a move she had learned from her father himself, she cocks a questioning eyebrow at Lexa as though challenging her.

Lexa doesn’t miss the challenge. If she wasn’t surrounded by a crowd she would accept the silent challenge but she knows better. “Great”, she growls out. True to her word she shoves past Alexis and leaves the house.

The house remains silent well after Lexa is gone. It takes Alexis shrugging as though nothing happened for a few guests to talk into hushed whispers. It takes until Titus says “food has been brought out” for the rest of the guests to engage in conversation.

Clarke turns to Anya expecting her to go over and kick the woman out, but Anya doesn't move. Instead, she calms her breathing, her hands continue to clench and unclench at her side. _She’s not going to do anything._ Clarke turns to Raven who is drinking from a wine bottle. “Are- is no one going to do anything?”

“What do you want them to do?”

“I don’t know, make her leave and find wherever Lexa went”

“Oh Clarke”, Raven sighs. “You cheap, country girl-”

“I was born in this city”

“You cheap, city girl”, Raven corrects herself. “You don’t kick people out. If they were to do that then questions would arise. This . . . confrontation had already gone out of hand and would have to be handled quickly before the press gets word of the incident. They are annoying, trust me on that” She takes a drink from the wine bottle before setting it on the table. “They let Alexis stay, she’ll leave in due time as the reason she came is no longer around. For now, the party continues and Lexa does whatever it is she is doing”

“What is she doing?”

“Probably punching something”

“Aggressive”, Clarke mumbles.

“You’ve no idea but it’s only Alexis that really gets Lexa on the edge. So I’ve seen anyways”

Clarke, not sure how to respond, takes the wine bottle off the table and takes a long sip. She mulls over Raven’s words and the situation before concluding what she will do. “I’m going to find Lexa”

“I wouldn’t advise that”

“Well, you don’t advise a lot of things and you do them later”

Raven smiles. “That’s because I’m dumb enough”

“Guess I have to be dumber”


	32. To Be Dumber

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Now that Clarke is well into the forest, she has to admit she is not very good at being Raven. Well, at being dumb. She doesn’t think anyone can be good at being Raven. Good luck to anyone that tries.

Clarke had left the house without much thought as she didn’t think she would need any. Sure, she heard Raven’s warning and all but that went in one ear and out the other. It wasn’t until Clarke was behind the house and ten minutes into walking down the forest path that she realized she does not know where she is going.

“Well wine bottle, looks like it’s just you and me” Despite her lack of knowledge in the current situation, she continues on the forest path.  _ I do hope Lexa has gone this way. _

_ Stupid bitch. _ Lexa growls to herself as she stomps down the forest path looking like a petulant child. She didn’t care if she looked like Shay after being denied ice cream. Or looked like Gustus after being told he couldn’t watch Discovery Channel. Or if she looked like the twins after being told going to school was a necessity and they had to go. No, she didn’t care and she wasn’t going to care.

Lexa has been walking for the last fifteen minutes with no place in mind. She’s sure the path leads to somewhere but she is blind as to where it goes. If only she had paid attention to what her father was saying all those years ago when he walked her down this path. 

“You should pay attention”, he would say as he watched her chase a butterfly.

_ That I should’ve. _

She has no time to find out where the path goes as she hears another person not too far behind her. She stops where she is and looks over her shoulder but fails to see anyone.

“Well wine bottle, it’s just you and me”

_ Are they . . . a wine bottle? _ She has heard that voice and she knows of only two people who would talk to a wine bottle whilst in the middle of a forest. One being Raven and two now being Clarke.

_ Of course, she would come after you, _ she almost scolds herself for not realizing this sooner. She considers walking faster and leaving Clarke behind but she knows the blonde is lost by now despite following a path.  _ Might as well make the best of this situation. _

Clarke is beginning to think Lexa has disappeared. She’s been walking the nature path for the last 25 minutes and is beginning to think it leads to nowhere.  _ If only I knew where this went. _ Ignoring that she hadn’t seen or heard Lexa at all which she finds strange as surely no one can walk so silently on twigs and branches. Clarke doesn’t feel drunk yet and she refuses to think she’s a loud walker.

And ignoring those two things she can focus on how pretty the forest is even if she isn’t aware of where she is walking and refuses to think that she could be lost. She knows someone takes care of the forest as the path is lined with flowers she hasn't seen before and the trees are a vibrant green. The wildlife is plenty. “How nice”, she whispers.

In her fuzzy-minded state, she gets distracted by a fat bee on a flower. The tree takes all her attention so she fails to notice the woman behind her. “Hello lit- holy shit!”, she cries out when someone touches her shoulder. In a desperate attempt to get away, she loses her footing.

“Woah!”

She can feel herself fall forward and onto the dirt. “Ugh”, she groans out once everything has stopped spinning, though her head is still throbbing. “What the fuck”

“You’re very clumsy”

Clarke doesn’t respond to the person. Instead, she works on turning onto her back so she can who it is that has her on the forest floor. “Lexa?”

The ALpha looks around before motioning to herself. “Me?”, she mouths. When she gets a glare as a response to her nonsense, she smiles at Clarke. “Yes, me. Who else would it be?”

“Oh, I don’t know. A serial killer”

“In the forest?”

“Doesn’t seem far fetched”

“On private property?”

“Yes on- wait, private property? You guys own a forest?!”

Lexa nods to Clarke, chuckling at her shocked expression. “Yes, Klark, my father owns this part of the forest. He loves nature and there is plenty to see in this forest”

“I’ve noticed”, Clarke nods. “I think the best part is the dirt up close. It’s  _ really _ nice”, she says with a glare directed at Lexa.

“I bet it is. Want a closer look?”

“Oh, fuck off” Clarke lightly shoves at the Alpha but Lexa doesn’t move. She gives another light shove only for Lexa to stay in place. “Lexa?”, she asks in a whisper. Lexa still doesn’t respond.

Lexa’s trying to look away, she really is. She’s trying to move off Clarke like her little shoves are implying for her to do. She doesn’t want to freak Clarke out, that is the last thing she wants to do, and she knows she must be doing so as the Omega is giving her a weird look. It takes Clarke snapping in her face for her to finally move. “Sorry”, she quickly gets off Clarke and offers her a hand. “Lost in my mind. Tell me, Klark, why are you in the middle of a forest where a serial killer could be?”

Clarke accepts Lexa’s hand and stands up. Once standing she brushes the dirt off her clothes. “I came looking for you, duh” When she gets no response she looks at Lexa only to see she is smirking at her. “What?”

“You came looking for me”

“So?”

Lexa shrugs, her smirk growing.

“Oh wipe that smirk off your face, Alpha”

“Alpha?” The name makes Lexa smile.

“I do know how to address people”, she pauses, “I just chose not to”

“Right” Lexa nods and steps away. “I broke your friend”

“My what?”

“Your wine bottle. You were talking to it, no? I assumed it was a friend of yours and . . . I broke it”

Clarke has forgotten about her ‘friend’, as Lexa puts it. She looks around and sees the shattered glass not too far from her. “Huh”, she watches the ground soak up the red liquid before she turns and frowns at Lexa. “Well that was rude”

“I’m sorry, I’ll get you a new friend back at the party”

“You want to go back?”

“I have to go back”, she shrugs. She looks around before stepping in the direction of the house. “C’mon, we’ll walk together so that serial killer doesn’t get you”

Clarke eyes Lexa trying to tell if she’s serious or not. It isn’t until Lexa smirks at her that Clarke rolls her eyes, “my hero” She smiles when Lexa laughs at her. “And, for your information, I was going to use my now broken friend, who you broke, to protect me from the serial killer”

Lexa guffaws at that, her hand going to her stomach. “What? You and the serial killer going to get drunk together?” She continues laughing when Clarke shoves her shoulder.

“Asshole”, Clarke mutters under her breath. She crosses her arms and pouts. It isn’t until Lexa is done laughing that Clarke finally asks the question on her mind. “Are . . . are you ok?”

Lexa doesn’t respond to Clarke. She gives the blonde one glance to let her know she heard the question. The two continue down the path in silence as Lexa thinks over an answer as she wants to give one and Clarke isn’t one to push an unwanted conversation. She finally answers Clarke once the house is in view. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I am ok”

“It’s ok if you’re not”

_ It’s not. _ “I don’t- I’m not feeling strange cause Alexis showed up. I couldn’t care less about that. It’s the fact- I-”, Lexa sighs. “I don’t know. Can we walk in there, pretend it didn’t happen and I get you another friend?”

Clarke nods. “We can do whatever you want”, she flashes a small smile at Lexa. “Well, you can only get me a new friend if Raven hasn’t drunk all the alcohol. I’m not much of a wine girl”

“Neither am I”

Clarke takes a sip from her ‘friend’ before turning to Lexa. The brunette hasn’t said anything to Clarke since she walked back into the house roughly thirty minutes ago. Clarke had gone to a table and sat down while Lexa found Anya so they could talk. When Lexa did join Clarke, she whispered “she’s gone”. Clarke didn’t need further information to know who “she” was.

Since then Clarke has respected Lexa wanting silence but now she was drying to ask one question. So, she reaches over and lightly touches Lexa’s arm to let her know she was going to say something.

Lexa glances at Clarke. “Mmm?”

“Who was that? The woman from earlier?”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t ask”, Lexa whispers. She finally looks at Clarke. “That uh . . . the woman, Alexis”, she grinds her teeth hating the way her mother’s name sounded on her tongue, “was or is my mother"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there’s that.  
> After this chapter more and more of Lexa’s past should be revealed. I’m pretty sure all, or what’s important, of Clarke’s past has been revealed.  
> I think I finally have a clear path of how this fic will go and end. With that, I’m hoping I can write more chapters since I won't have to think over every little word and with that get them uploaded and be done with this fic. Not that I’m annoyed with it, it’s just nice to finish up a fic.  
> As of right now, I am uploading the chapters as I finish them. I'm trying to get as much as I can do before my unfortunate event is cleared up and life is crazy once again.


	33. I Am My Own Boss (With a Ticklish Side)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter of Clarke and Lexa before I supposedly make things go downhill. Sorry, it’s like super short

**"My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

“Your mother?”

Clarke knows that is not the best question to ask considering the situation. She is aware of manners and her asking probably came off as rude. She goes to apologize to Lexa but Lexa shakes her head and says “it’s fine”. Clarke is at a loss for words as she thinks over Lexa’s words.

Both Clarke and Lexa are thankful when Raven and Anya join them at the table.

“Hey sis”, Anya ruffles Lexa’s hair earning a growl from the younger Alpha. “Clarke”, she does to Clarke but doesn’t receive a greeting in return. “Is she ok?”

“She’s thinking”

Raven leans over the table and eyes Clarke. “Does it hurt Griffin?” When she gets no glare, Raven leans further in. “Damn, she must be thinking pretty hard” She reaches out and pokes Clarke on the head.

“Stop that”, Clarke says when Raven goes to do it again. “So”, she turns to Lexa. SHe looks from Lexa to Anya then back to Lexa. “You’re adopted?”

Lexa blinks at Clarke before laughing out loud. She’s quickly joined by Anya and Raven. “Sorry”, she says. “It’s uh . . . crazy, huh?” She can’t admit she doesn’t enjoy the shock on the Omega's face.

“But you-”   
“Look a lot like my parents? Siblings? I get that a lot though I fail to see it. I guess it’s a coincidence”

Clarke looks around until she spots Luna. She stands near a corner with her pups close by. Once she had a good look at Luna, she looked at Anya. “I guess you don’t look like your siblings”, she says, her eyes on Lexa again.

“That bad?”, Lexa tilts her head.   
“Course not”

“I may have to add that not even my siblings look related”

Clarke nods, not sure if she wanted to see if Lexa is right or not. “Are they-”

Lexa chuckles cutting Clarke off. “Yes, Klark, they are blood-related”

“That marks sense. YOu and Luna seem to be the same age”

Lexa frowns at that while Anya chuckles. “Are you . . . are you saying I look older than I actually am?” Lexa leans close to Clarke with a glare on her face. She watches Clarke panic for a minute before bailing her out. “Luna is older than me by two years. Anya is older by four”

Clarke doesn't know why Lexa looked so offended. “Oh . . . and Lincoln?”

“He’s the cousin and he is my age”

_ He looked younger than her. _ Clarke takes a sip of her drink to stop herself from saying that. “So then . . . how old  _ are _ you?”

“Hmm?” Lexa raises an eyebrow at Clarke.

“Oh- shoot, sorry. That was rude-”

“No, no I don’t care about that. It’s just . . . you don’t know how old I am?”

“No, I do not”

Lexa gasps and puts a hand over her heart. She gives Clarke a pained look. “I’m hurt”

“Well, Alpha, do  _ you _ know how old  _ I _ am?”

Lexa goes to answer with confidence to prove Clarke wrong but she soon realizes she doesn’t know Clarke’s age. “Touche. Touche”

Raven watches the two with a sick look on her face. “This is gross” She stands up and takes Anya’s hand, failing to see the hint of a blush on the Alpha’s face. “Anya, we’re leaving. These two are making me feel sick”

Anya glances at Raven’s hand before nodding. “I’m with you there, Rae”

“You two going to find a corner to make out in?”, Lexa smiles when Anya flips her off.

“Maybe we will”, Raven smiles at Lexa. “Some of us have the guts to act upon our urges”

“So you admit you want to make out with my sister?”

“Admit nothing, deny everything, make counter-accusations” Raven shrugs. “And I admit nothing, Woods. I admit nothing”

“It’s launch counterattack”

“Not in this case”, Raven says over her shoulder before disappearing into the crowd with Anya.

Clarke looks where Raven and Anya once were before looking back at Lexa. “I’m 23 and my birthday has already passed”

“24 and my birthday is next month”

“Happy early birthday”

“Happy late birthday”

“Thank you”, she smiles at Lexa. “I thought you would be older than 24, no offense”

“When someone says no offense they know it will be offensive and what is that supposed to mean?”

Clarke only smiles at Lexa not bothering to respond.

“You calling me old, Klark?”

She shrugs, going to take a sip from her drink. She keeps her eyes on Lexa who is leaning forward.

“Klark, are you saying I’m old?” Lexa pokes Clarke’s side, making the blonde squeal at the sudden contact. Lexa smirks and pokes her other side. She watches as Clarke tries to avoid the finger but fails. “Are you ticklish?”

“I’m not calling you old”, Clarke ignores the question. “I assumed you would be older than 24. You seem wise”

“Like an old man?”

“No, apparently like a 24-year-old”

“I’ll accept that answer”

“We aim to please, Mrs. Woods”

“Well whoever your boss is, Mrs. Griffin, they should give you a raise”

Clarke smirks into her glass. “I am my own boss”

“Cheers to that”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m very hesitant to post the next chapter and the following chapters as they can be considered the ‘downfall’. I don’t like posting downfalls because it’s a very tedious thing and every word matters if that makes sense.  
> This chapter was going to be part of the next one but I’m too hesitant to post it but also need to update the story. Sorry for a short chapter. Also, I think I unintentionally gave Clarke and Lexa a playful side. I have to admit, it has been fun to write.  
> “Admit nothing, deny everything, launch counterattack” - Roger Stone


	34. Holy Shi . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a lot of thought and many rewritings but I’m saying ‘fuck it’ and posting this chapter. I’ve put off looking at this fic as the days went on. I’m glad I stepped away from the fic. Made some great memories in my downtime. So I don’t regret that but it’s been four or five days since I last updated. I do, however, wish I had more confidence in this chapter but it is what it is.  
> I have written future chapters, as I do that every time, but soon realized I can not 100% focus on those chapters without having this chapter uploaded. Sooooo . . . yeah

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

Clarke had brought up a different topic in hopes of getting away from the Alexis topic. She had done so after Lexa talked about an old memory when Alexis visited. Of course, it wasn’t a happy memory. Clarke is beginning to think there are no happy memories when it comes to Alexis.

The memory Lexa had brought up happened a year ago and as Lexa put it, “I was not in a great place”. Supposedly the two had argued over something and Alexis left with the parting words of “let’s not forget who did what to their father”.

“She always strikes where it hurts”, Lexa had whispered into her empty glass once she was done with her story.

Clarke immediately changed the topic after that. Lexa seemed thankful for that and slowly the worry in her eyes was gone. Clarke thinks she enjoys worry-free Lexa better than full of worry Lexa. No, she doesn’t think. She knows.

It was an hour later when Anya had walked over to them sporting a hickey on her neck. She didn’t try to hide the hickey and instead wore it with pride.

“Wow”, Lexa says upon seeing the purple mark. “You two finally do it?”

Anya shrugs to Lexa. “That, Lil sis, is none of your business?”

“Oh but it is. I have to know whether or not I’m going to get no sleep the upcoming nights” Lexa smirks. “After all, remember the last time you failed to tell me and I walked in on-”

“Clarke”, Anya shoots a glare to Lexa before smiling at the blonde, “do you want to hear some childhood stories about Lexa?”

“An-”

“Preferable when she broke my nose”

Clarke looks at Lexa who shakes her head with a pleading look. She then looks at Anya who looks all too eager to embarrass her sister. “Broke your nose?”

“Oh yes”, Anya nods. “It all happened a year or two after she came to live with us . . .”

**Anya had been 13 at the time Lexa came to live with her family. Anya had heard her parents talk about bringing another kid into the family. Anya, however, thought it was one of those thoughts that never came true. She was proved wrong a month ago when a nine-year-old Lexa walked into the house. Anya wasn’t sure about the Alpha.**

**It wasn’t that she wasn’t used to having another kid around the house. She has been dealing with Luna for the past 11 years. She supposes it’s the fact that Lexa is almost not at the house. Anya rarely sees the young girl and when she does see her, she won’t meet her eyes or greet her.**

**“What a strange kid”, she had whispered out loud while opening the front door to her house.**

**She had walked home from school as Titus and Indra were both busy doing whatever. Luna had stayed home as she “had the stomach flu”. Anya called bullshit on that. When she walked into the house she wasn’t expecting cold water to get dumped on her.**

**“What the-”, she looked around confused.**

**“Anya! Wat-”**

**She didn’t know what happened next. All she knew was that something had hit her in the face, she had stumbled out the door, rolled down the porch stairs, and is now lying on the sidewalk.**

**“Oh shit!” Lexa had run down the stairs and out of the house. She looked at the Alpha on the sidewalk. “Are you ok?”**

**Anya hadn’t responded as she stared at the concrete below her. It took her five minutes to finally lift her eyes and look at Lexa. “What the fuck!”**

**Lexa visibly flinched at being shouted but continued looking Anya over. “I- Luna said we were in trouble. I thought-”**

**“So you break my nose!” Anya reached up and felt her face.** **_Yep, definitely broken._ **

**“I just-”**

**The sound of the car door cut Lexa off. Indra ran out of the car and over to Anya.**

**“Are you ok?”, she asked. Her voice was high and panicked. Titus had stood back looking at his daughter. “What happened?”**

**“The foster weirdo broke my nose!”**

Clarke looks between Lexa and Anya. “You were in danger?”

“Luna speaks out of her ass, I was too young to understand that”

Anya nods. “She did like to trick Lexa a lot. Lexa finally realized this a year later and the two started fighting. Someone had to always be with them”

Clarke nods. “Wish I was there”

“It was pretty funny-”

“It was so not funny!” Anya glares at Lexa before smiling at Clarke. “It’s strange though. After our parents found me, I had pushed them away since Lexa ran in the house crying. It took me an hour to get her to come out and say I wasn’t mad. It was after that that I had taken a liking to Lexa” Anya pauses.

Clarke can see they are close. She had figured that out when she first met Anya. “That’s sweet. Wish I had a sibling”

“Play your cards right and you’ll get a whole group of them”

“Even virgin Jasper?”

“He’s a little much but he’s loyal”

“Monty?”

“Out of his mind at times but with Harper around, he’s great fun”

“Octavia?”

“If a man cheats and Octavia finds out, they better run”

Clarke smiles at that. “What about . . . Bellamy?”

Anya glances at Lexa. Lexa leans over to Clarke. “Protective but falls in love too easy”

“Noted” Clarke nods. “Raven?”

“You signed up as Raven’s sister the minute you agreed to move in”

 _I didn’t agree though._ “Well, she’s a great sibling”

Anya nods. She sits across from Lexa and Clarke. Once comfortable she puts her feet up on the chair by her. “So, what’re we talking about?”

“We were talking about siblings”

“Before that”

“Oh, in that case. _We_ are not talking about anything”

“In that case”, Anya says in her best Lexa voice. “ _We_ are now”

“Anya, you know childhood stories right?”, Clarke asks, hoping to calm the two sisters before they can tear apart one another.

Anya scowls at Lexa but quickly smiles as she looks at Clarke. “Plenty”

“Do you know any of toddler Lexa?”

Anya tilts her head at the question. She pretends to think over the question before shaking her head. “That I do not”

 _So it’s true._ Clarke looks at Lexa who is already looking at her. “Five years? With Alexis?”

Lexa nods.

Clarke looks away from Lexa. She had assumed Lexa had a rough start in life. If it led to her being taken away from mom and put into adoption it just had to be a rough start. It made sense to Clarke and she accepted, then shrugged it off. But with her actually thinking she has realized she doesn’t know much and she’s not sure if she wants to know anymore. Of course, Raven had given her some insight a while back.

_She didn’t say much._

Clarke remembers their conversation being short and cut off by Raven. From the conversation she got that Lexa was taken away, noise does something to the brunette. It affects her enough to win an argument.

_Is Alexis to blame for those triggers?_

Then there was the supposed murder situation that Raven had labeled as “the incident”. Of course, Clarke knows nothing of the situation as Raven wouldn’t say anything and there’s no way in hell Clarke is going to ask Lexa. If Lexa hadn’t told her by now then maybe she doesn’t want her to know.

“Clarke?” Lexa tilts her head trying to meet eyes with Clarke. She was growing concerned for the blonde as the minutes passed by. “You ok?”

Clarke doesn’t respond as she recalls Raven’s words.

**“She’s what everyone called the ‘broken case’ for many reasons”, the Latina had said a while back.**

_The broken case. The broken adoption case._ Clarke feels stupid for not making the connection earlier. _But why broken?_

**“It only got worse after the incident”, Raven then continued to say.**

**“Incident?”, Clarke had asked.**

**“Murder”**

_The murder incident . . ._ Clarke looks at Lexa. _An incident that brought the Woods family closer. Surely, any family would get closer after a murder._

**“I . . . I had someone important die too” Lexa was nervous as she revealed that bit of information.**

**Clarke, being curious, tried to get her to explain. “How’d he die?”**

**“Murder”**

_Woods are no strangers to murder._ Clarke, of course, knew this. It had been brought up previously but she now knew the murder was important to both Lexa and the rest of the family.

“Clarke?”

She realizes she’s staring so she looks away and at someone in the distance. _Maybe I’m putting too much thought into this._

**“I forgot to tell you it was my fault”**

**“It-”**

**“It was, trust me”**

**Clarke had missed the guilt in Lexa’s eyes. “Was he family?”**

**“He was family”**

_The person’s death was her fault. Someone important died and it was her fault. The only person I know that was important to the Woods that died was murdered . . ._

**“Let’s not forget who did what to their father”**

_Father . . . my fault . . . murder . . . incident . . ._

“Clarke?”

_Did what to their father . . ._

This time Lexa reaches out and touches Clarke's arm. She flinches back when Clarke jumps from her seat. “Hey, you ok?”

Clarke doesn’t look at her. “Holy shit”

Lexa glances at Anya who looks equally confused. “Is everything ok?”

“You”, Clarke takes a small step away. Surely, she’s wrong and overthinking. She has to be wrong. “Is- where- where’s your father?”

Lexa tilts her head at the question. “Titus is-”

“No, not Titus. Alexis’ husband. Your dad”

“Oh”, Lexa nods but doesn’t say anything else. She visibly tenses at the question. Her jaw tightens and she can’t help the guilt that fills her eyes. It only takes a guilty look for Clarke to know everything she needs to know.

“You- you murdered your father” She more than states this rather than questions it. When Lexa looks at her she can see guilt in her eyes.

Lexa has never had her muscles feel so tight. They hurt and she doesn’t know how to make it stop. She just wants it to stop.

Slowly she looks Clarke in the eyes and almost looks away when she sees the fear in them. She wants to look away from Clarke but she can’t. Carefully she eyes the blonde and sees something she’s seen in everyone who knows the ‘secret’. Fear and some disgust. There’s a hint of something else but she’s sure it’s nothing good. “Finally put it together”, she whispers.

Clarke isn’t sure how to respond. She’s not sure how to feel or react. For once she isn’t sure what to do and she fears that.

She had dealt with her father’s death and she knew how to respond. She cried for days and still cries now. She had watched her best friend kiss another girl. She got angry and broke things off. She dealt with her mom taking up more shifts and acting as though Clarke didn’t exist. Clarke’s still reacting to that but at least she’s reacting.

A part of Clarke had known something was up but she didn’t think this was the something. That the person she’d considered a friend in every busy city, was a murderer. No one wants to think that and for sure doesn’t want to know that.

She looks at Anya who is purposely not looking at her. The Alpha drills holes into a nearby wall with her eyes.

 _What do I do? What do I say?_ “Alright”, she whispers to herself. Clarke knows one thing, she needs to leave. She looks at the clock and sighs. It’s roughly five. “I gotta go”

Lexa had expected as much. Everyone always leaves. She nods to Clarke. Despite knowing the answer, she still asks, “see you around?”

Clarke freezes at that question. She thinks it over before shrugging. “Sure” She lied.

Lexa knows it’s a lie. She can see it on Clarke’s face. So when Clarke leaves the building she knows she’s just lost a friend. “Anya”

“Hmm?”

“Dad stores alcohol here, right?”

“Mhm”

I want the hardest drink”

“Coming up”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well . . . that could’ve gone better. Sorry for no update in a long time. I’m not sure how I’ll handle future chapters.


	35. Life Is A Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn’t an ‘update’ to the real storyline. This is basically me saying “sorry for no update in a week”. That and I’m still figuring out future chapters. So while thinking I wrote a short story. It’s basically as if everyone grew up with one another as kids. And, of course, Clarke and Lexa hate one another.

_This in no way affects the ongoing storyline. Think of it as an alternate universe, if you must._ **Bold** is recalling a past event.

Since kindergarten Clarke found no joy in recess or playing on the playground equipment. She hadn’t taken a liking to climb on germ-covered equipment while making up silly games with those in her grade. Her parents had tried several times to get her to be . . . ‘normal’ but every time it failed.

Sure, everyone else in her class enjoyed recess and some would cry when the weather was too bad to go outside. She could see how fun their games were and how much joy they brought them. At first, her heart would scream to join in on the fun and try to make friends but as the years went on, the feeling soon disappeared and she went on to ignore the joy.

Seeing as she was a small friendless kindergartener, she had nowhere to go during recess. She often sat somewhere on the grass waiting for the whistle to blow.

Her dad would say “life is a game, make sure you win” and she was losing.

It became a routine for Clarke to sit by the chain fence alone wishing for recess to end and art to begin.

It wasn’t until she was in first grade that someone had ‘dared’ to sit by her.

**It was a sunny day as Clarke sat in her usual spot by the chain fence. She has officially declared the spot hers and it seems everyone else knows it. They make a show to avoid the blonde as they all run about pretending to be horses or dragons. They would whinny and neigh as though to communicate with one another.**

**“Great view?” A girl with a limp has walked over to Clarke without her noticing.**

**Clarke looks up at the girl. She has short black hair that is tied back into a ponytail. She wears olive green shorts, a white t-shirt, and for shoes, she has brown sandals.**

**“To see everything”, the girl says when Clarke fails to respond. “Or is that not why you sit here?”**

**“No, no”, Clarke shakes her head. “I sit here as I can see everything. It’s nice”**

**“Quiet?”**

**“Very”**

**The girl frowns at that. “I should go then. I don’t want to inter- inte-”, she struggles with the word before huffing in annoyance. “Goodbye”**

**“No!” Clarke’s loud voice shocks both her and the girl. “Sit, please. It’s uh . . . no one talks to me”**

**The girl smiles as she not so gracefully sits by Clarke. “Guess I’m no one then” She turns to Clarke with teeth showing smile. “Name’s Raven”**

**“Clarke”**

It stayed Clarke and Raven for a long time. Raven and Clarke facing the boringness of recess together. They would often sit in silence until 3rd grade when Raven broke the silence by introducing Octavia. She was accompanied by her twin brother who was more than protective of the 3rd grader.

**“Hey! Clarke!” Raven limps over to the waiting blonde. “Sup?”**

**Clarke nods to Raven before looking around her and at the two strangers. “Rae . . .”**

**“Oh, right” Raven turns to the strangers with a smile on her face. “Clarke, this is Octavia and Bellamy. They’re the new twins around here. I saw them looking lost and thought . . .”, she trails off when she sees Clarke’s frown. “Did I assume wrong?”**

**“No”, Clarke shakes her head. “I don’t mind. It’s just . . . I only brought two cookies”**

**Upon hearing cookies, Raven looks at the two treats in Clarke’s hands. She eyes them and selfishly thinks they won’t have to share with Bellamy and Octavia but if her drunk mother has taught her anything it’s that sharing is caring. Whether that sharing be liquor or a cookie. Not that Raven would ever take liquor.**

**“That’s fine”, she smiles and takes a cookie. “There’s four of us, yeah?”**

**Clarke nods.**

**“Well, half of four is two. If we split each cookie in half then we should have enough for all” Raven sticks her tongue out of the corner of her mouth as she splits each cookie. “See?” She waits for no answer as she hands the twins’ a half then gives Clarke a half.**

From there it was the four of them. Clarke, Raven, Bellamy, and Octavia facing the boringness of recess together. They wouldn’t sit in silence as Raven was chatty and had a lot to share. It wasn’t a secret that she had no one to talk to at home and found great joy in being able to socialize with someone.

It wasn’t until 6th grade that their group expanded. Though, this time it was Clarke who brought friends.

**“I-I-I don’t kn-know about this Cl-Clarke” Jasper, a skinny boy with huge glasses, stammers out his sentence as he walks behind Clarke.**

**Clarke only smiles over her shoulder at the boy. “It’s fine, they’re amazing. They’ll love you two” She turns her smile over to the hunched-over figure of an equally skinny boy. Monty, so he says his name is.**

**“Clarke!” As always Raven is the first to spot Clarke. Just like Clarke all those years ago, she tilts her head and looks at the two strangers. “And who are they?”**

**“People, Rae”, Octavia teases the want to be engineer. She laughs when Raven pokes her side.**

**Clarke jogs the rest of the way to her friends. She doesn’t start talking until the two boys catch up. “This”, she points at goggle boy, “is Jasper. He’s not new. Apparently, he has been going to our school this whole time though he was . . . what were you?”**

**“Homeschooled”, he whispers.**

**“Homeschooled, yeah. And that”, she motions to the hunched-over figure, “is Monty”**

**Raven nods. “What’s in the bag?”, she asks Monty.**

**Monty glances at her. “I . . . random stuff I find”**

**“He is a tech whiz. You two should get along” Clarke smiles at Raven.**

**“Yeah, we should”**

From there it was the six of them. Clarke, Raven, Bellamy, Octavia, Jasper, and Monty facing the boringness of recess together. They wouldn’t sit in silence as Raven would talk to Monty about something nerdy. Jasper would stammer to Octavia who had the patience to listen. And Clarke would talk in a whisper with Bellamy.

It was a peaceful routine and Clarke was happy it had changed. She couldn’t imagine herself being the small, big blue-eyed kindergartner sitting alone by the chain fence. Though, peace can’t always last.

The group had thought they defeated all their enemies even if their number one enemy was recess and they all walked out with 15 detentions and 6 suspensions between the six of them. They admit they didn’t handle recess well. They had pushed kids off the wooden house, off the pookie, and may have thrown rocks.

But no, during Freshman year a new boss had shown up.

It was Freshman year when Clarke had met her. Alexandria Woods. They hadn’t met in the best way . . .

**“Alright! Partner up!”**

**Clarke is already moving to Raven before Mrs. Jack can finish her sentence. The two always partner up for P.E. It has been that way since elementary.**

**“Ready Griff?”, Raven smiles at the blonde.**

**Unlike Clarke, Raven was athletic. Well, Clarke was too. She had taken up running track and swimming. Despite this Clarke hates P.E and Raven is a natural in P.E. Raven had taken up soccer and track.**

**Clarke shakes her head at the insanely energetic freshman. “Never, Rae, never”**

**Raven doesn’t respond. She has her eyes on something by the double doors. “Who-”**

**“- is that?” Octavia finishes her sentence.**

**Clarke has failed to notice Octavia sneak up behind them. She stands with Bellamy as they always partner up.**

**Octavia hadn’t taken up any sports. She had self-defense classes though. Bellamy didn’t do anything at the current moment.**

**Clarke follows her friend's eyes to the double doors where five people stand. A girl with brown hair that had blonde roots. Clarke immediately knew she dyed her hair. Next to the blonde was a girl with the side of her head shaved. Next to the bald head was a tallboy. He was dark-skinned and bald. Next to him was a light brown-haired girl. She looked shy as she eyed those in the gym. Her eyes soon found Clarke’s and she no longer looked shy.**

**Last was a girl who stuck out like a sore thumb. She has green eyes that Clarke found herself staring in. Her hair was a dark brown and braided back into some complicated braid. Under her school uniform, Clarke could tell she was an athlete or worked out.**

**“Holy shit”, she whispers louder than she thought.**

**Raven smirks at her. “Like what you see?”**

It was half an hour later when Clarke’s not-so-nice greeting to Alexandria happened.

**“I’m telling you, Clarke, you can’t kick like that. The ball will go off the field” Raven glares at Clarke for the fifth time since P.E had started. “Kick like this”, she demonstrates how to kick without using the ball. “Got it?”**

**“This is dumb, Rae. Why do I need to know how to kick?”**

**“Look, the teach may have said you can be a goalie but what if she was lying? I don’t want you to make a fool of yourself”**

**Clarke doesn’t respond. She kicks the ball and watches as it rolls to the new girl. The ball hits the girl’s leg and lands by her feet. “Oh, sorry, can you kick it over?”**

**The girl looks at the ball then Clarke. “The ball?”**

**“No, the grass” Clarke couldn’t help the sarcastic comment.**

**The girl raises an eyebrow at her. Her tongue swipes over her bottom lip. “Sarcasm is not a great way to get what you want”**

**“Sarcasm is not a great way to get what you want”, she mumbles under her breath. “Look, can you pass the ball?”**

**“Mockery is not the product of a strong mind . . .”, she trails off and looks at Clarke expectantly.**

**“Clarke”, she says after a minute.**

**“Clarke”, the girl tests the word on her tongue. “Klark”, she whispers.**

**“That’s me. Now pass the ball?”**

**“Oh, sorry” The girl kicks the ball harder than Clarke thought she would.**

**Before Clarke can react, the ball is flying towards her face. She feels it collide with her face. She can feel herself stumble backward and fall onto her butt.**

**“What the- Clarke!” Raven runs over to her friend. She looks at the ball, to the girl, to Clarke. “Holy shit, you ok?”**

**“Language Reyes!” The teacher, Kane, scolds them from afar.**

**“What! That- that bitch”, Raven growls out, “just hit Clarke in the face”**

**“That’s a detention Reyes”**

**Clarke looks away from Raven and at the girl who is smirking.**

**“I think I got grass on the ball. You did ask for the grass, no?”, the girl asks.**

**“Bitch”, she grumbles under her breath before accepting Raven’s hand.**

**“Names Lexa”, the girl, Lexa, says over her shoulder as she walks away.**

That day they didn’t make any friends. Alexandria and her four friends had unknowingly declared war against Clarke’s group. And oh boy, were they going to win.

War was soon to break out. It actually broke out the next day during Mrs. Indra’s English class.

**Clarke was still fuming over yesterday’s events. She wasn’t one to hold onto things but something about getting hit in the face with a ball had her bitter. Her bitterness had been kept at a down low. She was going to release into her pillow later tonight as she screamed into it.**

**“So-”, her voice cut off when she walks into English. She stops near the door causing her friends to bump into her.**

**“Hey”, Raven groans from behind her. “Oof”, she says when Octavia bumps into her.**

**“What the- hey!”, Octavia protests when Monty collides with her.**

**“Not coo- Jasper!” Monty shouts when Jasper pokes his back with the wand he was demanding to carry.**

**“Dude, not my fault-”**

**“Get moving!”, Bellamy shoves the group causing everyone to surge forward.**

**“Wah!” The five ahead of Bellamy stumble over one another but manage not to fall.**

**“What’s the hold-up?” he asks, ignoring his friend’s glares. He’s quick to find his answer as he sees five familiar faces sitting in** **_their_ ** **spot.** **_Oh hell no._ **

**Clarke brushes off her uniform skirt before sighing. “They’ll move”**

**“Did they not kick a ball into your face?”, Monty asks in a whisper.**

**“They’ll move”, Clarke repeats. She walks over to the group with a fake smile on her face. “I’m taking it. Indra said you could sit wherever?”**

**The brunette glances at Clarke but doesn’t respond. She glances at her nails and sighs.**

**“Alright, well, you sat in the wrong spot. That’s my, our, spot”**

**The girl sighs. “Is it? I don’t see names? Funny”**

**Clarke holds back a growl as she looks at the girl. “Listen, gi-”**

**“Lexa”**

**“Listen girl”, she growls out. “You’re sitting in my spot. I would appreciate it if you would move”**

**Lexa looks at her. “Indra said we could sit wherever we pleased, no?” She continues when Clarke doesn’t respond. “So I am not sitting in your spot when you don’t have a spot”**

**Clarke grinds her teeth as she glares at Lexa.** **_This girl._ **

**Raven approaches the group. “Yo, mate, can’t you just-”**

**“Last I checked she wasn’t your mate”, this time the blonde rooted girl responds. She settles her icy gaze on Raven.**

**“Last I checked I wasn’t talking to you”, Raven growls out.**

**“Guys, can’t you just move?”, Bellamy tries.**

**“Did you not hear us the first time, fluffy head?” The light-haired brunette glares at Bellamy.**

**“Did you not hear Clarke the first time?”, he growls out.**

**Octavia glances at Monty and Jasper. “Guys, we can find a new spot for today”**

**The bald scoffs. “Or the rest of the year”**

**“Excuse me?” Octavia settles him with a glare. “Don’t put words into my mouth, Mr. Shine”**

**Her nickname had the class saying “ooh” at the same time.**

**Monty watches as everyone glares at one another. He glances at Jasper who is looking at the ground. “Guys we should leave. Mrs will be in here at any moment”**

**The half-bald girl laughs. “Listen to your nerds and leave”**

**That comment had Jasper and Monty’s blood boiling. “We’re not nerds!”**

**Clarke can see this is getting out of hand. “Can you please just-”**

**Lexa cuts her off. “Now we have manners?”**

**“What- I’ve always had manners! Just not for ignorant little-”**

**“Language”, she smirks.**

**_Why you little . . ._ **

It only took that little comment from Alexandria for the shouting to begin. Of course, teachers outside the classroom had heard and Indra was quick to rush to the scene of the crime. 

**“All of you knock it off!”, Indra shouts as loud as possible.**

**The yelling was quick to quiet.**

**Lexa opened her mouth to talk only for Indra to glare at her.**

**“I don’t want to hear it Alexandria”**

**Anya was next to try and talk only for Indra to tell her to keep it shut. Each person then tried to talk only for Indra to say their names followed with a ‘no excuses’.**

**“Clarke, take your group over to a new table. They can have that spot for today. Alexandria, tomorrow you guys find a new spot”**

**“What bullshit”, both Lexa and Clarke had said at the same time.**

**“Well, deal with the bullshit at lunch detention. All eleven of you”**

The group of strangers was not new to the lunch detention. Normally they would chat and laugh but not this time. No, this time they sat on one side of the office. No words were exchanged.

Raven didn’t talk nerdy with Monty. Instead, Raven glared at the fake brunette that sat across from her. Monty was glaring at Ontari or “half bald weirdo” as he put it.

Today Jasper didn’t stammer to Octavia. Not only because he lost his stammer in 8th grade but because he was busy glaring at the “half bald weirdo” while Octavia glared at the bald “weirdo”, Lincoln as his name was revealed earlier.

And Clarke, the angriest of them all, didn’t whisper to Bellamy about random stuff. No, she glared into green eyes who held a proud smirk on their face. Bellamy glared into brown eyes who belonged to Echo.

Peace was definitely not made and wouldn’t be coming anytime soon.

There were incidents as the years went on. Like when Lexa had ‘accidentally’ knocked the tray out of Clarke’s hands.

**Clarke was walking between the lunch tables. She had realized her mistake when she would have to talk behind Lexa.**

**_It’s nothing,_ ** **she told herself. She was behind Lexa when the brunette stood up, her arm swinging out and Clarke’s food tray falling to the ground.** **  
****“Oh- shit, I’m sorry”**

**“Save it”, Clarke growled out.**

Or that time when Raven had knocked frog guts onto Anya.

**“Oh hey, can we borrow your rag?”**

**“N-”**

**Before Anya could finish, Raven was reaching over and pulled the rag out from under the bowl. Anya jumped back as the bowl tipped over and guts landed in her lap. “You little-”, she cut herself off as she saw the teacher glaring at her.**

**“Whoops”, Raven shrugged.**

The problems only grew and finally exploded in the senior year.

**Clarke stood across from Lexa. They were in the middle of P.E. In the same place where it all began. They were currently the only ones left in dodgeball. Clarke was on the red team and Lexa was on the blue team. It was no surprise the two were the last ones left.**

**It was always like that when it came to P.E competitions. They would team against one another and fight until the teacher had to call it quits.**

**“Hey”, Clarke tosses the ball in her hand. “Think you’re going to hit me in the face as you did all those years ago?”**

**Lexa rolls her eyes. “That was an accident”**

**“No, it wasn’t” Clarke takes a few steps back.**

**“Yes, it was”**

**“Tell yourself whatever you have to”**

**“Back at you”**

**Clarke glances at the ball at Lexa’s feet. “Going to pick it up or is this an easy win?”**

**“You would like that, wouldn’t you?”**

**Clarke shrugs. “I don’t know about that”**

**Lexa looks at the ball at her feet. “I’m not picking it up”**

**Clarke tilts her head.**

**“Hit me”**

**Clarke eyes her. “Why are you letting me win?” She throws the ball and watches as Lexa easily dodges it.**

**“Did you not want to win?”**

**Clarke picks up another ball. “Yet you dodge”**

**Lexa dodges the ball again. “Is that not what I’m supposed to do?”**

**“Pick up a ball and throw” She throws another one.**

**“No”, Lexa dodges it.**

**“Why not?”**

**Lexa shrugs. She dodges another ball.**

**“Then let me hit you”**

**Lexa stands still. She holds out her arms. “Hit me”**

**Clark hesitates. She goes to throw it but stops. “Pick up a pall”**

**“No”**

**“Pick up a damn ball!”**

**“I’m letting you win, why are you mad?”**

**Clarke throws the ball but at the wall. “You’re so frustrating!”**

**“I’m just letti-”**

**“Don't act like you’re playing saint. All we’ve ever done is chuck balls and dodge them only to pick them up and throw them again. It’s a cycle. Why break it now?”**

**“I was never part of a cycle”**

**“You started the cycle as soon as you hit me with a damn ball in the face!”**

**“I didn’t mean to hit-”**

**“Bullshit!” Clarke picks up a ball. She rolls it towards Lexa. “Pick. It. Up”**

**“No, I’m not throwing a ball! I’m not fighting with you!”**

**“Oh, now you’re done fighting!”**

**“I’ve never been fighting!”, she shouts. She glares at Clarke. “Have you ever thought I wasn’t fighting with you! I wasn’t being mean!”**

**“Ripping someone’s art project is pretty fucking rude!”**

**Lexa falters at that. “You . . . you had taken a liking to Finn. I didn’t do it to be mean! I did it so you would notice me! Not him”, she whispers. “I did it because I love you!”**

**The whole gym goes quiet.**

**Lexa catches her breath and sighs. “I just wanted you to notice me”, she looks Clarke in the eyes. “Even if it meant you hating me . . .”, she sighs again and grabs the ball. She taps her shoulder. “I’m out”**

**Anyone knows she’s not talking about dodgeball. Clarke stares at her.**

**“You win” Lexa turns and walks away.**

**“Le-”**

**But it’s too late. She’s already gone.**

From there it was the six of them. Clarke, Raven, Bellamy, Octavia, Jasper, and Monty facing the information dropped on them. They would sit in silence as they thought over their past actions.

Raven would take notice of the many glances Anya gave her.

Monty would notice the ‘nerdy’ books Ontari read. He would soon realize they shared a common interest in Supergirl.

Jasper would take notice of Ontari too and realize she too wore huge ass glasses. Though she hated them.

Octavia would steal glances at Lincoln only to meet eyes with him.

Bellamy would think of Echo. He wasn’t sure what he thought about but it involved her.

And Clarke, Clarke would try and fail, to meet eyes with Lexa. She would get angry as the brunette would avoid her. She would get sad when the brunette moved away.

The group had killed their enemy only to realize it was a friend. Lucky for them life is a game and games have a potion to revive friends. To make this work they’re going to have to find peace and say apologies. You know what they say about peace.

“If you want peace you don’t talk to your friends . . . you talk to your enemies”.

And that is what Clarke did.

**Much like four years ago, Clarke was outside in the sun while kicking around a ball during P.E. She was partnered up with Raven like always.**

**“Hey!”, Raven jogs over to Clarke. “You can kick a ball”**

**Clarke shoots a playful glare towards Raven. “I’ve always been able to kick a ball”**

**“Not from what I’ve seen”**

**Clarke eyes the ball at her feet before looking over Raven's shoulder and at a certain brunette. “Watch this” She steps back from the ball and with very little effort, kicks it.**

**Both her and Raven watch the ball roll across the grass and hit Lexa's leg.**

**“Was that supposed to impress me?”**

**She ignores Raven. “Oh, sorry, can you kick it over?”**

**Lexa looks at the ball then Clarke. She eyes her with suspicion before sighing. “The ball?”**

**“No, the grass” Clarke smiles as she says the same words she said four years ago.**

**She raises an eyebrow at Clarke. “What do you want Clarke?”**

**“What do you want Clarke?” she says in her best Lexa voice. She does give herself some credit as she thinks she sounds very much like Lexa.**

**“Mockery-”**

**“Is not the product of a strong mind. I know, Lexa”**

**“Klark, what do you want?”**

**Clarke grows nervous as she stares into green eyes. With a shrug, she glances at the ball at Lexa’s feet. “The ball”**

**“Here”, Lexa goes to kick it lightly but Clarke cuts her off.**

**“But, if you kick it over, you agree to play a game with me” Clarke then motions to her friends behind her. “With us”**

**“A game?”**

**“A new game”**

**“A new game?”**

**“That is what I said”, Clarke smirks only to sigh when Lexa glares at her. “Yes, a new game. One of our own making. Something we’d both like. Something we can play today, tomorrow, and maybe next week”**

**“Hmm”, Lexa eyes her once again before smiling. “You sure I’m going to like you by next week?”**

**“No, I am not sure you’ll like me”, a pause, “you’ll love me”**

Oh how far she’s come. She went from the lone, blue-eyed girl who sat by the fence to the bright, blue-eyed girl with a friend group that consisted of eleven people.

Raven, her first friend, and best friend. The small girl went from limping and thinking she wasn’t going to walk ever again to running up and down a soccer field scoring goals like no other.

Bellamy, her first love and closest male friend. Started as a long-haired, overprotective brother and ended as the still overprotective brother but he lets loose now and then.

Jasper, her go-to for comfort and strange drinks. Went from the boy who couldn’t form a proper sentence around new people to being the life of the party when throwing a party at his parent’s ridiculous huge house. He even found a girlfriend. No one saw that coming.

Monty, the silent but destructive tech whizz. Still carries around a backpack full of things he finds but he now makes use of those things. Rumor has it he’s close to building a time machine.

Then there’s the five who started as enemies and turned into friends.

Anya went from glaring at Raven to making out with her in the school’s locker room.

Ontari went from calling people nerd’s to embracing her inner nerd and starting a nerd club. Who knew the school had so many nerds?

Echo, who went from calling Bellamy “fluffy head” as an insult to using it in the privacy of her bedroom to convince the boy to get back in bed.

Lincoln, went from causing Octavia’s outburst to being the only one who can control them. Suppose all she needed was to pet a smooth, shiny head.

And who couldn’t forget Alexandria Woods, Lexa, as she demands everyone to call her. The person who started the war and is the one to thank for the outcome. She now doesn’t hide behind insults and threats to get a certain blonde to notice her. No, now she waits at the front of the school for the blonde, kisses her whenever possible, and makes them late to every class to take part in certain . . . activities.

After all, “life is a game” and Clarke, she was winning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The playground, though I didn’t talk much about it, was based on my elementary playground at the school I went to. Also, the things I saw (kids playing dragon and neighboring one another). I still remember one kid making a girl cry by saying “my dragon ate you cause you’re a horse. You’re dead”. Kids are weird . . .  
> That playground was dangerous and shouldn’t have lasted as long as it did. Honestly . . . one of the supports snapped while kids were playing on it. They slapped tape and stuff on it and called it good.  
> One piece of equipment should’ve given kids huge ass splinters, surprised it didn’t. And the other, pookie we called it, was full of wasps. A kid was stung and had an allergic reaction. An ambulance was called . . . pretty scary for a second grader to watch their friend get put into an ambulance.  
> And yes, they blew whistles like we were cattle. Do other schools do that or is that an American thing? Is that even an American thing? I question if my school is weird . . .  
> Anyways, ignoring childhood stories, I am going to try and get an update on this as soon as possible. This chapter was by no means serious and I made things up as I went. I didn’t do the usual rewrite, deep check, reread the thing. So, sorry for the mistakes.


	36. Please Don't Take My Sunshine Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not important but I changed the title of this chapter because I was visiting my grandma and my aunt, who used to live with her, had a teddy that sang “You Are My Sunshine”. Random but fun fact.  
> On a serious note, sorry for not updating in a week. I have a lot to catch up on in RL crap and it’s so stressful. One person is an asshole, another is asking so much of me. It’s like “sit the fuck down and let me breathe”. Updates may be short until the 15th. Sorry in advance.

**“My past is mine. Your past is yours but the future is ours”**

“So” Raven glances towards Clarke. “You wanted to leave the party fast”

“Mmm”, Clarke grunts but gives no further response. She purposely avoids looking at Raven by pretending to have an interest in the outside scenery.

“Alright, I’m going to ask why. So, why?”

Clarke grunts again. She doesn’t attempt to explain or answer Raven’s question.

“Ok . . . say I’m wrong but I thought you were having fun. Did something happen?” When she still gets no response, she tries another question. “Did you get turned down?”

“Turned . . . down?”

“By Lexa”

Clarke looks at Raven.  _ Why would I get turned down? _ “Did you think Lexa would-”

“Clarke, you’re avoiding the question”

“And you’re avoiding mine”

“You didn’t ask a question. Now answer mine”

She eyes Raven’s face before looking back out the window. “Raven”

“Hmm?”

“Just drive”

As soon as they pull up to their apartment, Clarke gets out of the car and runs up the stairs. Raven can’t help but think she’s acting like a teenager who found out their favorite boy band is separating. She almost makes a sarcastic comment but thinks better of it.

_ We just move in together. We just met one another.  _ Raven is at the last step when she sees Clarke unlock the front door, pick Pauna up, and disappear into the apartment.

Raven closes the door behind her once she’s inside the apartment. She takes off her shoes and places them by the door then grabs Clarke’s discarded shoes and places them by hers. With that done she moves to the kitchen to load the dishwasher.

It doesn’t take her long to run out of tasks to do as the house was cleaned two days ago for Clarke to easily move in. With her tasks done, Raven realizes she doesn’t know what to do.

Inside Clarke’s room, Clarke pets Pauna whilst staring at the white ceiling of her room. She knows Raven is out there trying to debate what to do and she knows she’s being unfair to her. It seems to her Raven is confused by the sudden change of attitude as not too long ago, Clarke was laughing with Lexa. Clarke herself is confused and she doesn’t like that.  _ What am I gonna do? _

Half an hour later she hears the front door open then close. By now, Clarke has shed a few tears and is feeling more than ok enough to leave the room. She cautiously looks around and sees no sign of Raven.

“Raven?”

There’s no response which brings relief to her. Clarke takes another step out of her room before heading towards the kitchen. “What should we have for pre-dinner, Pauna?”

“Lexa” Anya tries to get her sister to look at her or even show a sign of being alive. “Lexa, we have to go” She sighs when Lexa doesn’t move or make a noise.

Since Clarke had left, Anya has been trying to get Lexa to talk to her. It was obvious the Alpha was not ok. Anya could see she didn’t want to talk about it but since when did Anya listens to Lexa? The answer, never.

“Hey”, she nudges Lexa, “c’mon, we really should get going. I don’t want to carry you into your room”

Lexa lifts her head. She tries to focus on Anya but everything is spinning around her. She can make out Anya’s figure. “Carry?”

“Yes, carry, you tend to pass out”

Lexa scoffs. “I do no such thing”

Anya, not willing to fight a drunk Lexa, shrugs, and mumbles “whatever you say” She watches as Lexa looks around just now noting how empty the house is.

“It’s peaceful”, the Alpha whispers. She shrugs and puts her head back on the table.

“That it is but you know where it is more peaceful?”

“That I do not know”

“Home. In your bed. In your room where you can sleep the day away, not that there’s much left, and wake up tomorrow with the worst headache ever”

Lexa considers Anya’s words before shaking her head. “I don’t want to wake up tomorrow”

“And why is that?”

“I have work tomorrow”, she is all too quick to answer.

Anya frowns at Lexa. “Valuable reason but that’s not the real reason. We both know it” When Lexa grunts, Anya pushes her shoulder. “What’s the real reason”

“I . . . and-”, Lexa looks Anya in the eyes. She eyes her face and searches her eyes for something. When she fails to find it, she continues. “I have lost my sun”

“Lost your sun?”

Lexa nods.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Do I have to think about it?”

“Depends but I believe you have the answer”

“Ask away”

“Well, Lexa, was this . . . sun, as you put it, aware that they were your sun?” Anya watches Lexa’s face closely. “Was she- they aware they were lighting up your world?”

“No” She shakes her head. “No, they weren’t”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. It’s a short chapter. Didn’t look at this story over the last week. It was on the back of my mind . . .


	37. Distractions (Day One)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, since life is busy again I decided to go with many short chapters rather than one long chapter. If I were to do one long chapter who knows how long it would’ve taken me to like, y’know, update the story. So, yeah. I’m planning on uploading the chapters as I finish them. As of right now, they are going day by day, as you will see in this, and future, chapter(s).  
> Oh, and I said August when it was October that this story is taking place in. Turns out I can’t read a calendar. Whoops. Wish I could blame my teachers.  
> Also, the days will be talked in the past tense until it’s suddenly not. Just keep that mind that all this is technically taking place after the party but also in the past. It will start in the present tense when I get to a certain . . . event(?)

**“Can the future be ours?”**

**_Friday, October 7th_ **

Friday was nothing big for Lexa, not that she expected it to be. She woke up later than she usually would. When she woke up she was in her bed though she lacked the knowledge of how she got there. She had tried several times to recall yesterday’s events but nothing would come back. It was as though yesterday didn’t exist and a part of her was happy with that.

It wasn’t Lexa’s first time falling asleep in one place just to wake up in another place. She’s had so many drunk occasions throughout her high school and out of jail years. Since she had dealt with similar situations, she wasn’t alarmed or scared. She was only confused.

What did alarm her was when she took the blanket off and found herself naked under the covers. Her mind went straight to bringing some woman home but she knew that she had to kick the one-night stand out, they never left willingly.

 _Was I that bad,_ she asked herself. Then she chuckled. _Course not. I’m Heda._

She looked around trying to find an excuse for her nakedness. She never slept naked. She had almost given up but she saw a note on the desk in her room.

Getting out of bed was harder than she would like to admit. Her legs didn’t feel like hers and her head felt like it was having a party.

“You’re probably confused, as you always are drunk or not. Long story short to explain your lack of clothing. Let’s just say you don’t handle car drives when drunk. You ugly motherfucker threw up all over my recently washed car and yourself. I had to remove your clothes after explaining to mom why you had your vomit dripping down your clothes. So, you suck ass Alexandria.

PS: you’re cleaning my car until the smell is gone

\- Anya”

  
  


Lexa nodded. “Ah, makes sense” In the back of her mind she congratulated her drunk self for ‘ruining’ Anya’s car.

Next to the note, she found a glass of water and pills. She made a mental note to thank whoever put them there as she’s sure her hangover is going to be bad.

Not long after taking the pills did her hangover start getting worse.

“Oh shit”, she had mumbled.

Despite her “raging headache”, as Lexa would put it, she had managed to shower, only leaving the shower two times to throw up. She then got back in bed all by herself. She felt like those two activities took a lifetime and therefore she deserved a nap.

However, sleep never came around. Instead, she spent the next two hours trying to think things over but she soon found that to be a hard task with a “raging headache”. To her, it seemed her brain didn’t want her to recall yesterday’s events. Whenever she would try her headache would get worse.

At some point, she’s not sure, she had stopped trying. She concluded that whatever happened last night was bad enough for her to get drunk to the point of puking.

She’s Heda. She can handle her drinks. Or so she thought.

It was thirty minutes later when Anya had barged into Lexa’s room. The Alpha didn’t look happy, not that she ever looked happy. “Lexa!”

The shouting had immediately brought back Lexa’s headache-causing the younger Alpha to groan. “No”, she weakly mewled, rolled over, and hid her face in a pillow.

“Don’t you no me” Anya stomped into the room, purposely being loud, and pulled the blinds up causing rays of the sun to shine into the room. She then squinted her eyes as the sun was a little too bright, even for her and she wasn’t hungover. “You’ve been asleep for a long time. I’m talking a long, long time. Mom is beginning to worry”

“So?”

“When she worries about you, she bugs me. I don’t give two shits about you so why should I have to suffer?”

“Then walk away”

“And get killed? No thank you”

Lexa growled. “How about this?”, she turned her head and opened one eye to look at Anya. “Get the fuck out of my room and tell mom I am alive”

“Aren’t we in a mood”, Anya mumbled. “Also, no can do. I have to take over your shift since you are in no condition to go to work. Luna is going to help Tris at the restaurant, most likely they’re going to fuck on some counter”

Both sisters cringed at the mental image they imagined. They also recalled a memory that caused Lexa to gag into her pillow.

“Sickening”, they whispered at the same time.

“Anyways”, Anya said whilst shaking her head free of the mental image, “Mom has a woman’s meeting. Something about empowerment. And dad is helping some teenagers high on drugs get his life together. You know what that means”

Oh, Lexa does know what that means and she’s not happy about it. “No”, she growled out. “I am not babysitting those gremlins”

“Yes, yes you are”

“No, Anya, I am hungover and in pain. I can’t recall yesterday’s events and I have a feeling it was bad. My heart aches for some odd reason and I have this feeling of sadness. I’m pretty sure I’m having mood swings like a woman on her period and periods don’t happen anymore!”

“That was a shitty evolution for the female body to take in”, Anya muttered. She had learned of periods back in elementary and ever since they’ve creeped her out. “And is it that bad?”

Lexa nodded.

“Well”, she shrugged and approached the bed, “not my problem” She then tugged the sheets off only to shriek. “Put some damn clothes on!”

“Ilian, do your homework. Willa, leave Ilian alone” Lexa glared at the two twins who glared back at her. Lexa had to stop her Alpha from making the pups submit. When she got tired of their ‘staring contest’ she looked away and turned to Gustus who was patiently standing by her. “What’s wrong?”

He pointed into the living room where Shay had taken his seat. Lexa could hear the Barbies’ theme playing.

 _Not again._ “Shay”, Lexa began tiredly, “it’s Gustus’ turn to watch what he wants on the TV”

Shay immediately does not like, or agree with, Lexa’s words. “No!”

“Yes”, Lexa walked over and took the remote from the small Omega. She was prepared when the toddler started to cry. “Shay-”

Shay ignored Lexa. “No! No!”, she screamed and tried to take the remote only for Lexa to hold it out of her reach.

With Shay not getting her way, the crying continued. Lexa ignored the obnoxious noise, Shay’s tugging on her arm, and the attempts the toddler made to pull on Lexa’s hair. Whilst she ignored Shay, she had handed the remote back to Gustus who now sat on the living room floor watching a documentary about herbs.

Lexa will never get over how weird her Beta nephew is.

“Shay Flou Woods!” She finally hit her breaking point when the toddler bit her. “You stop that right now or I will put you in your room until lunch! Understood?”

Shay stopped her crying as soon as her full name was said. She had stared at Lexa like she took her favorite toy. “Mhm”, Shay nodded.

Lexa sighed and left the living room. She sat at the counter with her back to the pups. The house has grown silent except for Ilina counting on his fingers and Gustus’ documentary.

Usually when Lexa babysat the house would be full of laughter but she knew she wasn’t being her usual self today. She knew she never shouted at the pups before and surely, Shay would hold onto that moment until Lexa tried to apologize. Lexa’s pretty sure Shay wanted a puppy purse. She supposes she could buy that when she’s in the city.

It takes five minutes for the noise to start again.

“Willa!”, Ilian had shouted. “You got your stupid slime all over my paper!”

“I did no such thing, Ilian!”

The twins start bickering. They shout at one another, both trying to be louder than the other.

Gustus walked back to Lexa and placed his head on her thigh. That’s all it took for Lexa to know Shay had taken the remote again. The Barbie theme song could be heard coming from the living room.

Lexa, having enough of everything, especially today, growled loudly getting the attention of the three pups. “That’s it, everyone to their rooms!”

Gustus had known she wasn’t talking to him so he remained with his head on her thigh. He watched as Ilian Willa sulked up to their bedrooms.

The toddler was reluctant but was soon up the stairs. She had made sure to yell “shit head” before slamming the door shut as best as a three going onto four years old could.

“I need a drink”, Lexa mumbled.

  
  


Clarke had spent the majority of her day watching shitty romcoms on the TV with Raven. Raven had only asked once or twice what happened last night but after Clarke did not respond to them, she soon gave up.

From there they went from romcoms to horror. Clarke soon found Raven liked gory horror and Raven soon found out that Clarke hated horror as it scared her too much. After suffering through two horror movies, they moved onto comedy.

Neither of them laughed.

After dinner, which was takeout, they went their separate ways. Raven went to a garage where she fixes up cars. She isn’t paid but she enjoys the activity. Clarke went to her room with Pauna following her in. Once in her room, Clarke had sat on her bed and scrolled through shitty memes on google before looking at her Instakilo to look at her feed.

Her Friday was anything but eventful. But hey, she learned something about her roommate. That was a plus. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ‘shit head’ part happened to me. Except the kid was my cousin and he was like seven at the time. Surprised he cussed since his mom is super religious. Didn’t rat him out cuz mama didn’t raise any snitch.  
> I wouldn’t let him pick the next show as he had spent the whole morning watching TV and his younger brother wanted to use the TV. His younger brother is so sweet and was easy-going so I saw no problem. After arguing I finally got him to hand the remote to his brother, he got mad and stormed off to his room. Of course, he had to call me a ‘shit head’ before he left and I was like “ok . . . well thanks?” How do you respond to that? Do you respond?  
> That is why I forever think toddlers are the best age to babysit. Hands down.  
> Also, sorry if Anya and Lexa’s interaction doesn’t feel serious. I kinda took it as a joke and tried to imagine close siblings. That and I need some happiness in my life and writing that amused me.


	38. Beginning of Missing You (Day Two)

**“Can the future be ours?”**

Small warning:

Small referenced/implied mention of abuse towards the end. It's small but still deserves a warning.

**_Saturday, October 8th_ **

On this day Lexa spent her entire time working. She left the house around five and opened the bar earlier than usual. She’s not sure why she did this but she did. She only slightly regretted it as she had to serve early, grumpy customers.

The first two hours she was left mostly by herself. No one really came into the bar until eight. When eight had come around, Anya showed up and put Lexa to work on cleaning dishes. It took Lexa three hours to clean all the dishes. By then lunch was an hour away and Anya let her have it early.

“I can be nice”, she had said with a smile.

“What a surprise”, Lexa grumbled under her breath. She smiled when Anya flipped her off.

Lexa had seen no need to eat lunch at the bar. It’s not like they have bad food, they have great food. Five stars. She assumed she wished to leave because of her heavy mind so she told Anya she was going to find some local cafe to get a muffin and black coffee. Anya had asked her to bring a chocolate-filled croissant if the cafe served those. After much arguing, since Lexa is stubborn, Lexa finally agreed and went on her way.

When she had walked into the cafe she was hit with the strong smell of cinnamon. Lexa was not a fan of the smell and had to hold back a gag to not appear rude. She’ll never understand why people love the taste and smell of cinnamon.

_ Disgusting _ , she coughed to cover a gag.

“Hi” A dark-skinned woman caught Lexa’s attention. When Lexa’s green eyes landed on her, the woman smiled and waved. “What can I get ya?”

Lexa shrugged as she eyed the long list of items above the woman’s head.  _ They have everything. _ She read each item and ingredient before eying the objects behind the woman. She could see a variety of muffins but no croissants. “Do you guys have croissants?”

The woman had looked over her shoulder and at an empty basket. “Just sold out of all croissants. Some lady bought them for her ‘depressed roommate’ as she put it. But uh, the next batch should be out in ten”

Lexa frowned and mentally cursed at whoever the depressed roommate was. “That works”, she forced a smile. “I’ll take chocolate-filled croissants, a blueberry muffin, and black coffee” Lexa hadn’t waited for a response as she walked away from the counter and found an empty table.

Alone with her thoughts, she had pulled out her phone and contemplated talking, or attempting to, Clarke.  _ You got this _ , she tried to hype herself up.  _ It’s just a text. _

By the time Lexa worked up the courage to text Clarke, the woman had brought her food over and Lexa thought ‘fuck it’. She put her phone away and stood up. “Thank you . . .”

“Gaia”

“Thank you, Gaia. Have a nice day”

“You too”

From there she had lunch with Anya who pestered her about Clarke the whole time. Lexa had tried to say “we’re fine” but Anya knew otherwise. She would always respond with an “I was there too, Lex”. It took thirty minutes for Anya to convince Lexa to try and talk to her.

“If I see her later today, I will talk to her”, she had promised. With that promise came a small bead of hope. Hope that Clarke would show up with the group later today and that Clarke would let Lexa talk to her.

So the hours ticked on, people came and went, Lexa, scrubbed tables, served strangers and friends. After what seemed like years the first member of the group walked into the bar looking more than ready for a drink. It was no surprise it was Raven.

“Sup”, Raven greeted Lexa with a nod before she sat at the usual booth. “Oh, is that a chocolate croissant?”

Lexa eyed the bag by her. “Yeah, bought it earlier. Had to wait as some asshole bought all of them for their depressed roommate”

Raven smirked. “Y’know me, always an asshole”

Lexa blinked at her as she waited for the dots to connect. When they did her mouth hung open. “That was you?!”

“Hey, a friend’s gotta do what a friend’s gotta do”

“That’s not eve-”

“Shut up and give me the croissant”

Lexa chucked the bag at Raven who was prepared for the aggressive act.

With the false hope Lexa held, she managed to put on a smile and enjoy the company of her friends. Though she would never admit it, they were her favorite part of working.

It took two hours for her smile to become fake as she realized Clarke didn’t and wouldn’t show. Her hope had been quickly crushed at that point. Though, she didn’t let it show.

Of course, she couldn’t leave it at that and had asked Raven about Clarke. “Is she ok?”

Raven had shrugged the question away, not entirely sure how to answer. “I don’t know. She was locked up in her room when I left. We did have breakfast together but she was like a zombie”

“Rough night?”

“I assumed so. She is the asshole’s depressed roommate, after all”

Lexa rolled her eyes and moved away from the table.

When everyone left, Lexa closed up the shop with the help of Anya. She didn’t ride her motorcycle home as she got a ride with Anya instead. They rode in silence which Lexa had greatly appreciated. She didn’t appreciate the side glances she had received from Anya multiple times. Pity was not Lexa’s favorite thing.

Once home Lexa was quick to leave the car and enter the house. She made a beeline to the stairs only to be stopped by her mom.

“She called”

To many “she” could mean anyone and apply to everyone. She could mean the next-door neighbor who had a problem with snooping. She could mean Ilian’s crush at school. Or she could mean their asshole of a birth mother. In this case, it meant the birth mother.

Lexa walked into the living room where Indra sat. “Why?”

“I’m not sure about the details but she wishes to meet up. To talk”

_ Of course, _ Lexa rolled her eyes. “What’d you tell her?”

“That I wouldn’t answer for you. She then asked where she could find you. I said, Trikru Forest”

“That all?”

“Yes. I hung up before she could say anything else”

Lexa nodded. “I’m going to sleep”

Lexa stayed up that night. She was usually asleep by ten on most nights. She hated being awake past ten since it was the time Alexis would get home when she was younger. When Alexis got home, the pain would come. She learned that when she was two.

She stayed up until 12 thinking over recent events and Alexis. She wasn’t sure how she felt over her mother knowing where she could find her. She also knew Alexis may not show at all so her thinking may have been for nothing. Lexa quickly realized she needed to stop thinking about Alexis and instead she tried something else. She tried texting Clarke.

Clarke, unlike Lexa, wasn’t active throughout the day. She saw no need to leave her room as she had a bathroom in her room and an un-opened chip bag on the floor. Though, she didn’t find herself hungry.

She had heard Raven leave to hang out with the group. Clarke was invited but she came up with an excuse to deny the father. “I don’t feel so hot”, she had lied. Raven seemed to believe it and if she didn’t, she didn’t show it.

With Raven gone Clarke had listened to the silence of the apartment. Pauna was out roaming the streets most likely pissing off the local meat guy. It would forever confuse Clarke how that cat was not shot yet.

After an hour of being alone, Clarke finally decided to do something. She grabbed her computer and started job searching. She desperately needed a job to pay for her side of the rent. As of right now she was living rent-free and wasn’t entirely sure why Raven didn’t charge her. Not that Clarke is complaining. She just feels guilty.

When midnight was ten minutes away, Clarke had put her computer away and took out her phone. She saw one notification on her phone.

**11:49 - Lexa: You ok?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “A baby’s gotta do what a baby’s gotta do” - Tommy Pickles (Rugrats)


	39. I'm OK . . . (Day Three)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick short chapter. I’m trying to quickly get to the point where this is all resolved and I can finally write something cute. Sorry for future waits and such.

Warning:

Another mention of abuse. Or implied. Small but there nonetheless

**“Can the future be ours?”**

**_Sunday, October 9th_ **

_ Am I ok? _

_ Do I feel ok? _

_ What is ok? _

_ If one says they are ok, are they feeling satisfactory? Does that mean all life is good? Or does it mean life is a little above disastrous? If that’s what being ok is then do I want to be ok? No, I don’t think I do. Definitely don’t. So . . . am I ok? _

_ Surely, one would not want an ok life. Wouldn’t they want an excellent life? So . . . am I ok with being ok? Do I want to be ok? Does anyone want to be ok? _

Clarke had thought of many questions since reading Lexa’s text. She had only questions, no answers. No answer to Lexa’s question and no answer to her many questions. If she did find an answer, another question would arise and make her previous answer seem wrong.

She had spent the majority of her Sunday thinking over the question and response. In the end, she settled for no response hoping her silence would be a good enough response for Lexa.

After spending another hour on it she finally pushed the thought away and laid back down on her bed. 

  
  


Lexa angrily scrubbed at a spot on the counter. It was sticky and she wasn’t sure what it was. She scrubbed it for ten more minutes before growling and saying ‘fuck it’.

“Fuck this stain, fuck this counter, and fuck life”, she had growled out.

Once she had washed off the rag she closed up the bar and started her walk home. It was a Sunday and she had no real reason to be at the bar as it was closed most Sundays and today was one of those Sundays. She, however, couldn’t stay at home with the noise. She had grown sick of her parents asking if she’s ok. She got mad when Luna would offer help. She would feel guilty when she had to tell Shay that she wouldn’t play Barbies with her.

She just needed a break and strangely found it at the bar. Lexa needed time to think and the bar offered that for a few hours before she had to leave and return home.

She enjoys her walks home as they are always relaxing. She usually sees familiar faces and forgotten friends. Once she played a soccer game with a group of boys because they were one player short. Lexa’s team won.

However, her walk home was spoiled as soon as she stepped out of the bar. Standing outside the bar was the last person Lexa had wanted to see.

“Alexis”, she said bitterly.

The woman didn’t look at Lexa as her eyes went to the building Lexa had walked out of. “So this is Trikru Forest”

Lexa gave her no response.

“You work here?”

“Why are you here?”

“Would you believe me if I said coincidence?”

“Would you believe me if I said pigs can fly?” She glared when her mother smiled at her.  _ How can you smile? _

“As cheeky as always”, she laughed as though nothing had happened between them. “You always had a cheeky response as a toddler. It was amusing”, she looked into the distance as though watching a memory play in front of her. “One of the few things I liked about you”

“Surprised you found time to like me between the beatings I got”

Alexis tsked as though annoyed. “You’re still on that?” She laughed when Lexa rolled her eyes. Her laughing only stopped when she noticed the glare Lexa was giving her.  _ Lighten up, darling. _ “Alright, truth be told, you know why I am here. I wish to talk to you over some . . . legal matters. It’ll be quick, if I am guessing right it should be”

Lexa put her hands in her pockets and walked around the tall woman. “That’s funny”, she cautiously looked both ways before crossing the road, “cause I remember telling you I don’t want to talk to you”, She said this without looking behind her to see if Alexis was still following. She knows her mother and knows her mother is following her. Due to this reason, she purposely headed away from the direction of her house.

Alexis nodded to this. “It seemed I have misread the situation”

“Misread or ignored?”

“Both”

They walked in silence as Lexa walked towards the cafe she had visited yesterday. A black coffee had sounded nice to her at the time.

Alexis, of course, had silently followed. She had recognized the look on Lexa’s face and knew better than to interrupt. She knew Lexa was thinking things over as the knot between her brows gave the Alpha away. Alexis only looked away from Lexa’s face when they stopped in front of a cafe.

“Grounders”, she read out loud as she stared at an old-looking sign. “Whatever are we-”

“We”, Lexa growled, cutting her off, “are not doing anything. There is no we, Alexis”

Before Alexis could respond the cafe door was opened and out walked a familiar-looking blonde. She eyed the blonde with a look of interest before looking back at her daughter. With more interest, she watched as her daughter stared at the blonde in front of her.

“Clarke”, she had breathed out in shock.

_ Clarke. _ Alexis hid a smirk.  _ Interesting. _

Upon hearing her name Clarke looked up. She took a step back once she met a green stare. “Lexa”

Lexa hadn’t missed the step back Clarke had taken. “Hi”, she said with caution as though talking to a scared deer.

Clarke nodded to Lexa before stepping around her with a ‘scuse me’. She had gone as fast as she came.

“Well”, Alexis had said once Clarke disappeared into the busy crowd of citizens, “that could’ve gone better, no?”

Lexa didn’t respond to her mother as she stared into the crowd of people.  _ Are we on no-talking terms? Surely not. _ Not wanting to think too hard about it, Lexa turned to her mother. “You wanted to talk?”

Lexa had stomped into the house and slammed the door behind her. She ignored the loud TV as her family watched a movie together and made a beeline for the stairs. She was at the bottom when the TV was turned off and someone asked “Alex”

_ Alex. _ The nickname her family used when they knew Lexa was mad. When something had gone wrong. Lexa still remembers the day they first used it. The name had calmed her down immediately and ever since they would use it.

She stopped at the bottom, her hand gripping the railing to stop herself from shaking. She wasn’t sure how to respond to the question but she knew better than to go upstairs as they would knock at her door. Gritting her teeth she growled out a “yes, mother”

Her tone alone was enough for her family to be on the edge. As always, Luna was the first one up.

“You ok?”, the Omega asked, despite knowing the answer.   
Lexa eyed the carpet in front of her with newfound interest. Her silence was enough to answer Luna’s question.

Anya was the next up. “What happened?”

At that question, she lifted her eyes and looked at Anya. She eyed the Alpha before looking away and starting her way up the stairs. 

“Le-”

“It doesn’t matter”, she growled out. She listened to her family beg her to talk and stay. She had finally snapped once she was at her door. “I said it doesn’t matter!”, she shouted before slamming her door shut. Once inside her room, she slid down the door and fished her phone out of her pocket. She swiped through her contacts until she came across the one she wanted.

**2:13 - Lexa: Can we talk?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felt I had something important to say. Probably won’t remember until after the chapters are posted. Anyways, the next chapter should explain some things especially the conversation. Just bringing it up before anyone asks “is the Alexis conversation going to be brought up”


	40. . . . Am I Though? (Day Four)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t really write about Clarke’slife’. Or what her day consists of. It’s not really important right now . . . random but felt it was important.  
> Also, I knew I would remember after uploading the chapter, but I’m trying to upload as much as possible to avoid angering people. I, myself, am mad at the characters like “fucking talk to her!” but have to have it this way to get to certain things. Sorry.

**"Can the future be ours?"**

**_Monday, October 10th_ **

Sunday, October 9th

**2:13 - Lexa: Can we talk?**

Clarke had stared at the three-word question for far too long. She’s not afraid to admit that. She knows she should respond but she isn’t sure how.

There were others Clarke had stared at for the same amount of time. Ever since running into Lexa, Lexa had been sending messages. They consisted of asking Clarke to hang out, get a drink, just talk. The last one was small and simple.

Today

**8:15 - Lexa: Please**

_ Please. _

Clarke stared at it and felt the familiar wetness in her eyes.  _ I’m sorry. _

Clarke knew that that one word should’ve been enough to convince her to listen to Lexa but strangely enough, it wasn’t. So, like last time, she opted to stay silent and turn off her phone.

With Lexa’s texts no longer on her mind, she started her newfound routine of scrolling job listings and memes.

  
  


Lexa could feel her hands shaking. She could hear her breathing getting rougher and uneven. She could hear her thoughts getting louder as the seconds ticked by.

Earlier she had woken up covered in sweat and panting. Since she hadn’t screamed, she had no energy to do so, no one came to her rescue. Instead of seeking out Anya as her younger self would’ve, she went to the corner and had been there for the last hour or so.

Lexa found it strange as she did not want Anya’s comfort. No, she only wanted one person’s comfort and that person was ignoring her.

Then again, she’s not entirely sure if it is the comfort she is seeking out. She hadn’t thought much about it as the voices got louder and drowned out logical thinking.

She was suddenly transported back to yesterday as she sat at a table with her mother.

**“Alexandria, darling”, her mother had begun. Her green eyes were cold as a snake. They held no warmth or understanding. “If this woman . . . Clarke, that’s her name, yes? If she truly cared don’t you think she would be talking to you?”**

**Lexa was put off by the sudden question. Up until now, they were discussing companies and family rights. “I don’t care-”**

**“I saw the hurt in your eyes. It’s still there. Don’t lie, darling. It gets us nowhere”**

_ Darling. _

The name she would say to Alexandria to trick her into thinking she cared.

_ Darling. _

She would say that before she would grab Lexa by the hair and scream at her.

_ Darling. _

She would growl it as she put new scars on Lexa’s back.

_ Darling. Darling. Darling. _

“No!”, Lexa stood up on shaking legs. She needed to leave but to do that she had to convince her family to let her leave. She took a deep breath and started her usual routine. She showered, attempted to braid her hair only to find her hands shaking too much, got dressed, and left her room. 

When she left she saw a pillow on the floor outside her bedroom. She immediately knew Anya had slept outside her door in case Lexa decided to come out.

“Look who shows”, someone yawned behind her.

Lexa turned and saw Anya leaving the bathroom. She was wearing jean shorts and a white tank top. “Morning”

Anya eyed her before nodding to her. “Morning, shall we get breakfast?”

“Is it ready?”

“Always is”

The two went downstairs, Anya not attempting to start a conversation and Lexa not wanting any.

Once Lexa had walked downstairs she was met with the smell of blueberry pancakes. Lexa moaned at the smell earning a smile from Anya.

“Luna made them just for you” When Lexa gave her a look of disbelief, Anya laughed. “She loves you a lot more than you think”

_ Pfft. _ Lexa didn’t respond as she walked into the kitchen. Once in the kitchen, she could see her family trying not to look at her with concern. She let this go on as she served herself pancakes but once she sat down she said “ask away”

The questions had started at once and she didn’t hear a lot of them. The only one she heard was from Ilian asking ‘where do babies come from’. This led to Luna glaring at her son. “That doesn’t matter”, she growled out.

“Fine”, Ilian pouted, “I’ll just go to the cabbage patch like Willa said to”

“Cabba- what?”, Luna looked at her daughter who was playing innocent.

“I’ve no idea what he is talking about”, she tried to defend herself whilst having a mouthful of food. When Luna gave her ‘the mom look’ Willa quickly swallowed her food and continued. “I told him the truth but he said that was gross and untrue. So I told him to dig in the cabbage patch”

Luna looked from one twin to the other before shaking her head. “Whatever”

“They come from inside your mom and out her glory hole, now, was that all the questions? May I leave now?” Lexa looked from Luna to Willa then back to Luna. 

“No!”, many said at once.

Indra coughed, getting the attention of her. “It’s just . . . you came home shaking and looking stressed. We all want to make sure-”

_ Came back looking stressed? _ Lexa was beyond stressed yesterday. She wouldn’t tell her family that though. She had no desire to discuss anything with anyone.

“And it’s just . . .”

Her mother’s words fell upon deaf ears.

_ Yesterday. _

**Lexa smiled at Gaia as the woman set the black coffee on the table.**

**“No muffin today?”, the woman asked.**

**“No muffin. Thank you though”**

**“Always a pleasure” She then looked at Alexis. “Anything I can get you?”**

**Alexis shook her head, her eyes remained on Lexa.**

**Gaia nodded sensing the tension.** **_Sheesh._ ** **She gave a small wave to Lexa before walking away and taking back her spot behind the counter.**

**“I suppose I should start talking”**

**Lexa didn’t respond. She calmly lifted her cup and sipped her drink.**

**“Great”, Alexis nodded, “well I haven’t seen you in years. You look good”**

**“Do I though?”**

**“No, you look like shit”, her joke fell flat. She cleared her throat and sighed. “I’ll just say it. I need you to pass up something dumb so I can have it and you can continue living your life”**

**“I knew you wanted something from me”**

**“This is the first time, Alexandria, don’t act like this is a common thing”**

**Lexa went to respond only to shake her head. “What is this thing I need to pass up?”**

**“Nothing big . . . just two companies that you technically inherit in- how old are you?”**

**Lexa raised an eyebrow. “Why am I not surprised?”, she muttered into her mug. “I’m 24”**

**“When is your birthday?”**

**“I will turn 25 in a month and three days. I do not see why this matter, Alexis”**

**“In a month and three days, you will inherit two companies that are technically one”**

_ That’s right, yesterday I went to lunch. _

“I just ran into Alexis, ok? I’m fine. I told her off and she left” Lexa stands up finding she no longer has an appetite. She stands up without asking to be excused. She left her plate on the table, left the kitchen, and went back to her room.

That’s where she spent the rest of her Monday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure when business became a part of the story. I guess I used it to get the plot moving. Weird.

**Author's Note:**

> So I do have another fic going on but this came to mind and involves less thinking than the other fic. Course I am working on that fic more than I am working on this one as this one is technically done and written out. I wrote it a while back and am just now putting out on archive cause . . . I don't know


End file.
